tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post3163083874135163154..comments2024-03-10T05:18:37.521-04:00Comments on Stories From A Starry Sky: Weekend Writing Warriors: April 28, 2013Teresa Cypherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-32729938063470483422013-05-06T08:48:45.213-04:002013-05-06T08:48:45.213-04:00I quite enjoyed the oath at the end. It resonates ...I quite enjoyed the oath at the end. It resonates as being true and heartfelt. It has a weight to it that gives this snippet a punch. Nicely done. J.M. Blackmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12452636020480500983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-70999356234255329512013-05-03T23:46:54.015-04:002013-05-03T23:46:54.015-04:00Thanks, Veronica. I can't wait to get it out t...Thanks, Veronica. I can't wait to get it out there. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-65144254227753036142013-05-03T23:45:43.162-04:002013-05-03T23:45:43.162-04:00Thanks so much, S.J. ! :-)Thanks so much, S.J. ! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-16373863414058971392013-04-29T20:19:12.572-04:002013-04-29T20:19:12.572-04:00This is a great story, Theresa, intense and a real...This is a great story, Theresa, intense and a real draw. I'm anxious to know more about Rissa and the world she's in now. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04556031831830621195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-17082510213987569352013-04-29T15:35:14.080-04:002013-04-29T15:35:14.080-04:00Thanks, Rose. What a nice gesture! :-)Thanks, Rose. What a nice gesture! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-82460418390543587922013-04-29T15:28:58.918-04:002013-04-29T15:28:58.918-04:00Thanks, Sue Ann. Much needed backing. :-)Thanks, Sue Ann. Much needed backing. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-54274874029579341312013-04-29T15:28:30.181-04:002013-04-29T15:28:30.181-04:00Thanks, A.S. I'll be continuing this for a bit...Thanks, A.S. I'll be continuing this for a bit. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-91878628825708086072013-04-29T15:26:35.349-04:002013-04-29T15:26:35.349-04:00Siobhan, these edits are wonderful. Thank you. Yes...Siobhan, these edits are wonderful. Thank you. Yes, it does flow smoother! Thanks again! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-13497192399934561852013-04-29T15:25:15.994-04:002013-04-29T15:25:15.994-04:00Thank you, Daniel. You are a teacher, for sure. It...Thank you, Daniel. You are a teacher, for sure. It comes through. The Bible example is perfect. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-61631220147165026812013-04-28T23:49:03.508-04:002013-04-28T23:49:03.508-04:00Thanks, Ann! :-)Thanks, Ann! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-53654414672607623732013-04-28T23:48:49.485-04:002013-04-28T23:48:49.485-04:00Thanks, Paula! :-)Thanks, Paula! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-41370378365542694222013-04-28T23:48:34.919-04:002013-04-28T23:48:34.919-04:00Thanks, Karen! :-)Thanks, Karen! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-5551055601337337972013-04-28T23:45:02.845-04:002013-04-28T23:45:02.845-04:00Thanks, Elaine :-) Thanks, Elaine :-) Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-45393613554247052002013-04-28T23:44:47.630-04:002013-04-28T23:44:47.630-04:00Thanks, Carol. I'm so glad to read that the fe...Thanks, Carol. I'm so glad to read that the feelings are coming through. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-35763189255549096812013-04-28T23:44:04.460-04:002013-04-28T23:44:04.460-04:00Abraxum was a fun character to write. ;-) Thanks ...Abraxum was a fun character to write. ;-) Thanks for visiting, Claire :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-67761387678028300172013-04-28T20:13:46.593-04:002013-04-28T20:13:46.593-04:00Now, that's loyalty! We should all be so lucky...Now, that's loyalty! We should all be so lucky to not only have someone willing to give his life but to fully understand and appreciate why.Claire Gillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08389410834599445845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-46630926072893017072013-04-28T19:34:01.918-04:002013-04-28T19:34:01.918-04:00The Abraxum, Rissa, Cuylrh connections all seem so...The Abraxum, Rissa, Cuylrh connections all seem so true and and genuine. Nice writing to help us all feel this.Red Wing citizenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09523025896051457839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-14014355001445930252013-04-28T19:33:08.628-04:002013-04-28T19:33:08.628-04:00I'm also glad that Abraxum's loyalty is wi...I'm also glad that Abraxum's loyalty is with Rissa. Nice work.Elaine Cantrellhttp://www.elainecantrell.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-31596853923836472492013-04-28T19:04:23.265-04:002013-04-28T19:04:23.265-04:00So pleased Abraxum's loyalty is with Rissa. Gr...So pleased Abraxum's loyalty is with Rissa. Great snippet!Karen Michelle Nutthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04083893569523248900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-89373892325605070862013-04-28T18:04:33.996-04:002013-04-28T18:04:33.996-04:00I'm so pleased Abraxum understands the whole s...I'm so pleased Abraxum understands the whole situation - and is willing to support Cuylrh. Great snippet.Paula Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10040623635956769807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-90745645548601193272013-04-28T17:00:07.557-04:002013-04-28T17:00:07.557-04:00Great snippet, Teresa!Great snippet, Teresa!Ann Swannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08826695313958091226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-29402139121814643502013-04-28T16:56:25.669-04:002013-04-28T16:56:25.669-04:00Teresa, I am not one who can give you a good criti...Teresa, I am not one who can give you a good critique on the subject matter here. I have no experience with the genre. However, I do know language and after reading the snippet to myself, I read it aloud twice to authenticate what seemed to be there. And it was. I speak of the cadence and "lilt" of the words. It's very difficult to find the right voice for many writers. If this is consistent, it will take the reader into another reality. We don't communicate this way, but the narrator in your book does. Think how the hard-boiled language of crime thrillers can put you right there. I believe that's what you're doing here. For a negative example, how many times have you seen a book/film that takes place several centuries in the future and the people sound like 21st century Americans? Not too likely. Or think of how different Bible translations totally change the "feel" of the narrative. So I congratulate you on your prose. Good work.Danielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04370431402701294825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-82273185620895192132013-04-28T16:39:06.220-04:002013-04-28T16:39:06.220-04:00Good snippet on Abraxum's thoughts, Teresa. Yo...Good snippet on Abraxum's thoughts, Teresa. You might consider shortening it to "Abraxum also understood the Earth woman was a blessing. No matter how she'd arrived under their night sky, or the sin his young King had committed in keeping her, or the dire consequences waiting should the sin be discovered, she was what Cuylrh needed. And she'd arrived in their midst when his need had reached desperation. <br /><br />All of the things wrenching Abraxum's heart, twisting it nearly beyond bearable pain, came to a halt when he thought to whom he owed his allegiance. On this he did not waiver: if a mortal threat arose, he would raise his sword in Rissa's defense out of loyalty to Cuylrh of Medoch. Pray, Giver Above, that it never came to that."<br /><br />I've made small edits, but it makes the section flow smoother and allows the reader to know which "he" is thinking and which is "desperate". :)Siobhan Muirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00595776353171184107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-87998700106900893262013-04-28T15:44:59.025-04:002013-04-28T15:44:59.025-04:00Very interesting snippet! I'll be back for mor...Very interesting snippet! I'll be back for more.A.S. Fenichelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15188528705441184803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-39940609443957394702013-04-28T14:20:32.913-04:002013-04-28T14:20:32.913-04:00At least Cuylrh has one person who backs him.At least Cuylrh has one person who backs him.Sue Ann Bowlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17692320238497263942noreply@blogger.com