tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post3856900725664859816..comments2024-03-10T05:18:37.521-04:00Comments on Stories From A Starry Sky: Weekend Writing Warriors: July 12, 2015Teresa Cypherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-62741846586674506012015-07-18T23:51:16.088-04:002015-07-18T23:51:16.088-04:00Still on the ship. Larger context would clear up m...Still on the ship. Larger context would clear up much of the confusion, Eden--I think. I hope :-) Thanks for your feedback!Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-41913548651299016002015-07-18T00:11:49.712-04:002015-07-18T00:11:49.712-04:00The jump forward confused me a bit. Are we still ...The jump forward confused me a bit. Are we still on the ship? It doesn't seem like it with this animal loose. Though if it is hungry and scared enough, one woman waving a metal bar isn't likely to be enough to scare it away no matter how much growling she does.<br /><br />I liked the descriptive details you added thought. Even knowing how desperate animals can act... it felt 'real'.Eden "Kymele" Mabeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01550337993392791643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-72370951380070062142015-07-17T09:38:53.415-04:002015-07-17T09:38:53.415-04:00Thanks, Misha. I just chopped up a couple of sente...Thanks, Misha. I just chopped up a couple of sentences, and slashed some words.<br /><br />It's hard to judge from only 8 to 10 sentences. :-) This is winding down from a much longer scene of pure terror. An abduction scene. The reader actually knows from an earlier paragraph that his eyes are gold. The color of his eyes is important to the story, so I want to impress that on the reader.<br /><br />But, maybe it's not working. I really appreciate your feedback--and do take all feedback seriously.<br /><br />Thanks for visiting!Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-36165620597569511692015-07-17T06:28:19.197-04:002015-07-17T06:28:19.197-04:00I like the scene, but I think your pacing might be...I like the scene, but I think your pacing might be a bit off. This should be a tense scene. Short sentences. Vivid description. We don't know what animal she fended off, but she could see the color of the man's eyes.Misha Gerrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06364173848456424521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-63187742425621292672015-07-16T18:41:47.983-04:002015-07-16T18:41:47.983-04:00Thanks, Carrie-Anne. Better description coming up....Thanks, Carrie-Anne. Better description coming up. Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-56795544053318718462015-07-16T18:40:40.634-04:002015-07-16T18:40:40.634-04:00Thanks, Tanya! It's been a longish scene. I...Thanks, Tanya! It's been a longish scene. I'm glad the intensity is hanging on. Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-89829714637654485672015-07-16T18:38:53.472-04:002015-07-16T18:38:53.472-04:00Thanks, Christine! Thanks, Christine! Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-36504560704172280912015-07-16T18:29:32.302-04:002015-07-16T18:29:32.302-04:00Thanks, Neva! And I hope your sun is still shinin...Thanks, Neva! And I hope your sun is still shining!Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-81903491443933263652015-07-15T23:26:05.471-04:002015-07-15T23:26:05.471-04:00That's a very intense scene. I love the littl...That's a very intense scene. I love the little description of the golden-eyed man too.Carrie-Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05810154378449825641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-15771655813312483222015-07-15T18:32:50.224-04:002015-07-15T18:32:50.224-04:00Well done! Very intense. Well done! Very intense. Tanya Reimerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00293977395016853814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-9824687160956696052015-07-14T23:14:31.370-04:002015-07-14T23:14:31.370-04:00Ooh, I am loving this weeks post!! Very intense!!...Ooh, I am loving this weeks post!! Very intense!!! Crazy intense!!! That definitely shook me. I am loving the sun and all the heat too! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09436256293259964125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-66114619618568367372015-07-14T18:31:35.060-04:002015-07-14T18:31:35.060-04:00Great action scene, Teresa. I love a strong, coura...Great action scene, Teresa. I love a strong, courageous woman who overcomes her fear to save another. Great stuff!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11976538607575202318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-1436774306323835242015-07-13T22:45:17.815-04:002015-07-13T22:45:17.815-04:00Woot! Glad to read that, Ed. Thank you!Woot! Glad to read that, Ed. Thank you!Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-32416097078137576332015-07-13T22:44:52.370-04:002015-07-13T22:44:52.370-04:00Thanks, Elaine! :-)Thanks, Elaine! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-75249595209835673272015-07-13T22:44:33.580-04:002015-07-13T22:44:33.580-04:00An emotional roller-coaster. Thanks, Karen!An emotional roller-coaster. Thanks, Karen!Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-35408833223784254052015-07-13T22:44:04.504-04:002015-07-13T22:44:04.504-04:00Lol--yes, indeed. It causes a lot of trouble, for ...Lol--yes, indeed. It causes a lot of trouble, for sure. ;-) Thanks, Jenna!Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-90761122285823873222015-07-13T22:43:33.243-04:002015-07-13T22:43:33.243-04:00:-) I think he's going to like it. :-) lol Tha...:-) I think he's going to like it. :-) lol Thanks, Dani.Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-35365577744930727122015-07-13T22:43:06.522-04:002015-07-13T22:43:06.522-04:00She has to work at it. :-) Thanks, Cara. :-)She has to work at it. :-) Thanks, Cara. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-40472171746940855082015-07-13T22:42:37.248-04:002015-07-13T22:42:37.248-04:00Yes they are...but she does have her vulnerable mo...Yes they are...but she does have her vulnerable moments. Sometimes she falls apart. She is a long way from home. :-) Thanks!Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-87794692976618504242015-07-13T22:41:48.889-04:002015-07-13T22:41:48.889-04:00Thanks for the encouraging words, Chelle. :-)Thanks for the encouraging words, Chelle. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-75414270780472192982015-07-13T22:41:17.837-04:002015-07-13T22:41:17.837-04:00I'm so glad you like her!! Thanks, Sarah :-)I'm so glad you like her!! Thanks, Sarah :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-56994120181041158232015-07-13T22:40:54.838-04:002015-07-13T22:40:54.838-04:00Thanks bunches and bunches, Charmaine! :-)Thanks bunches and bunches, Charmaine! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-29410860648885593222015-07-13T22:40:27.246-04:002015-07-13T22:40:27.246-04:00Thank you much, Veronica! :-)Thank you much, Veronica! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-56925013915643443712015-07-13T22:39:57.227-04:002015-07-13T22:39:57.227-04:00:-) You made me smile, Alexis! Thank you. :-):-) You made me smile, Alexis! Thank you. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-62350504616267480292015-07-13T22:39:29.056-04:002015-07-13T22:39:29.056-04:00That...coming from a master of description! Thanks...That...coming from a master of description! Thanks, Steven. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.com