tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post3326284236632023088..comments2024-03-10T05:18:37.521-04:00Comments on Stories From A Starry Sky: Weekend Writing Warrior: April 27, 2014Teresa Cypherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-20317411865294802014-05-01T10:21:02.340-04:002014-05-01T10:21:02.340-04:00I like how you captured the atmosphere, I like how you captured the atmosphere, Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13346034896296813841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-74878050320213794182014-05-01T09:26:04.837-04:002014-05-01T09:26:04.837-04:00It felt like I was there with them. You have a gif...It felt like I was there with them. You have a gift for writing description in a way that is just the perfect amount. Always enjoy your snippets!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08920349957061612653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-87863236248625457582014-04-28T12:32:36.612-04:002014-04-28T12:32:36.612-04:00You really captured the scene in so few words, Ter...You really captured the scene in so few words, Teresa. Nicely done. :)Siobhan Muirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00595776353171184107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-87052215817218256692014-04-27T21:37:50.574-04:002014-04-27T21:37:50.574-04:00Love the way you describe the server.Love the way you describe the server.Cara Bristolhttp://www.carabristol.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-37056001233975908562014-04-27T21:31:36.493-04:002014-04-27T21:31:36.493-04:00Love the way she has to bustle around the crowded ... Love the way she has to bustle around the crowded place, and the waitresses dimples-- loved your description! Great scene!<br /><br />Not sure anyone mentioned this yet... In your sentence "The she put her hand up to her ear..." Should it be: "Then she..." :)Karen Michelle Nutthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04083893569523248900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-63924498615387799412014-04-27T20:55:16.173-04:002014-04-27T20:55:16.173-04:00Thanks, Charmaine! :-)Thanks, Charmaine! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-51709858041362862172014-04-27T20:54:32.919-04:002014-04-27T20:54:32.919-04:00Thanks, Millie! :-) Ready with your "X"...Thanks, Millie! :-) Ready with your "X" post? Three letters to go! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-29443123753198255002014-04-27T20:53:08.702-04:002014-04-27T20:53:08.702-04:00lol, at this precise moment, I do believe you are ...lol, at this precise moment, I do believe you are correct! Thanks, Dani!Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-88715385095798866482014-04-27T20:52:04.278-04:002014-04-27T20:52:04.278-04:00Thanks, Tina! :-)Thanks, Tina! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-39456353215189545812014-04-27T20:44:15.521-04:002014-04-27T20:44:15.521-04:00Thanks, Marcia. I wasn't happy with it when I ...Thanks, Marcia. I wasn't happy with it when I posted it, so it'll definitely get reworked. Thanks for suggestion! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-60868265424233747302014-04-27T20:43:14.386-04:002014-04-27T20:43:14.386-04:00:-) Thanks, Susan! :-) Thanks, Susan! Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-49577960683648503552014-04-27T20:42:33.608-04:002014-04-27T20:42:33.608-04:00~blush~ Thanks, Elyzabeth. I have to give the cred...~blush~ Thanks, Elyzabeth. I have to give the credit to my wewriwa pals. You all have taught me so much--and I'm still learning. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-46996251198662031302014-04-27T20:41:22.666-04:002014-04-27T20:41:22.666-04:00Thanks, Carrie-Anne. I had a picture in my mind wh...Thanks, Carrie-Anne. I had a picture in my mind while I wrote her, and I hoped that it would come through. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-56563043734858335052014-04-27T20:40:19.036-04:002014-04-27T20:40:19.036-04:00Thanks, Sarah! :-)Thanks, Sarah! :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-76762037678665073792014-04-27T19:05:20.162-04:002014-04-27T19:05:20.162-04:00I love the server! She's one of those charact...I love the server! She's one of those characters that lend reality to a scene. :)Sarah Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13265589529909793312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-26949842340825404102014-04-27T18:31:16.502-04:002014-04-27T18:31:16.502-04:00The server is so well-drawn. She seems like just ...The server is so well-drawn. She seems like just the type of person to be working tables.Carrie-Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05810154378449825641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-66414232915165220162014-04-27T16:42:33.279-04:002014-04-27T16:42:33.279-04:00Oh how I wish I could describe like this! The scen...Oh how I wish I could describe like this! The scene jumps right out at you. Well done, Teresa!Elyzabeth M. VaLeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00261951650310680514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-48820099895395122062014-04-27T16:36:46.038-04:002014-04-27T16:36:46.038-04:00Local fish - point taken lolLocal fish - point taken lolsusanhttp://authorsusankoenig.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-14571199674167298222014-04-27T15:36:52.427-04:002014-04-27T15:36:52.427-04:00Great atmosphere and description. I already know a...Great atmosphere and description. I already know a lot about the server despite the brief description, you showed me a lot of who she is. Well done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-87825247401162649842014-04-27T15:21:04.071-04:002014-04-27T15:21:04.071-04:00Attempt #2 ;-)
Suggestion is to maybe change &quo...Attempt #2 ;-)<br /><br />Suggestion is to maybe change "turned toward where the server neared" to "where the server approached"<br /><br />But really a great excerpt. This is a prime example of how the right details make a scene vivid and memorable :)Marciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07092928480361131154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-90079093584507619902014-04-27T15:10:29.485-04:002014-04-27T15:10:29.485-04:00"Her broad smile squeeze dimples into her che..."Her broad smile squeeze dimples into her cheeks" Nice! She seems to the the only happy one there.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14583205410758708248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-38108437226520967672014-04-27T13:40:48.356-04:002014-04-27T13:40:48.356-04:00I don't know why, but I really loved that his ...I don't know why, but I really loved that his hat was a simple wide-brimmed affair. That phrase really tickled me : ) I absolutely adore the waitress, she just jumps right off the page!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05551671528722336812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-61476875936431986382014-04-27T13:39:06.086-04:002014-04-27T13:39:06.086-04:00Great characterisation of the server in a few line...Great characterisation of the server in a few lines. Nice excerpt.Nick Wilfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03841776353790635132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-57372551642632325842014-04-27T13:23:37.404-04:002014-04-27T13:23:37.404-04:00I had the same feeling as Sue Ann. I like the bust...I had the same feeling as Sue Ann. I like the bustle of the crowded space and the waitresses dimples. Good eight.Charmaine Gordonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15236373312231763983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4696914224277711875.post-67567732482131907402014-04-27T12:52:34.820-04:002014-04-27T12:52:34.820-04:00Sounds as if the Port operator is conveying inform...Sounds as if the Port operator is conveying information to the visitors. (That the fish is local.)Sue Ann Bowlinghttp://homecomingbook.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com