Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: July 22, 2012

Another fine week. Welcome readers and sixers. :-)


Six Sentence Sunday is a blog hop. Participants post six sentences from a current piece of writing.  To learn more--or to find links to the other participating sixers, click HERE.


Join the fun.  There are so many wonderful and talented writers participating...and all generously share their knowledge and love of the writing craft.


This week, back to my WIP, ATNS.  Marissa, a homeless woman, cannot account for two years of her life. Institutionalized at one point, she has been diagnosed as delusional--unable to separate her dreams from reality.  She has just had a bonus find--twelve overcooked hot dogs in the trash can behind a restaurant.  Picking up right where last week's post left off:


"She tucked the hotdogs—all twelve of them, into a scavenged shopping bag and put them in her backpack. Her stomach growled, but there would be a better place than this to eat them.  In this world—the world of the homeless and the desperately hungry, a food squabble might not get anyone killed. But too often, someone ended up bleeding and bruised.

An hour later, in her home—the third floor office of the dilapidated factory, she sat on the sill of the open window watching the river laze by.  Somewhere upstream, a train whistled, shattering her darkening world with a sound so lonesome she thought of the dead bell in the Catholic Church at Somerset.  Moments later, the powerful diesel engines roared past, shaking her where she perched."

I know...seven sentences :-)  But, it maintained continuity.

Leave a comment. Say hello. Make sure I have  a track to follow you back to your blog. :-)

And thanks for reading.

30 comments:

  1. I have a feeling this is a tear jerker. You did a nice job setting up scene. She's sitting on a ledge can mean a couple of things.

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  2. Thanks, Carrie :-) ! A tear-jerker? Yow...you bet. I read Tina Cooper and I laugh; you've done your job well. And I've had Beta readers stay up till 5:00 AM to finish this one, and wake their husbands with their sobbing. I don't know if we, as writers, can ever get a bigger compliment than that. Evoking readers' emotions... :-)

    Thanks for the visit and the kind words :-) !

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  3. Only sorry I have found you a little late.

    I instictively wonder how she got to be in this situation.

    Look forward to reading more.

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    1. Thank you, Rosalind! Those are good words to read... :-)

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  4. I love how you show her interacting with her world. Great sentences! :)

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    1. Thanks, Jessica! It's so easy to get tunnel vision. I have to constantly remind myself that the reader needs to see and feel and hear the things that I already know. :-)

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  5. Great sentences -- and now I'm fretting about her, and what's going to happen next!

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    1. Thanks, Donna. Great words to read. :-)

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  6. Excellent atmosphere. Good point about not eating the hot dogs where she found them.

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    1. Hi Kate :-) Yep...she has to think to survive. :-) Thanks for visiting.

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  7. This may very well be my all-time favorite excerpt, Teresa! What a fantastic setting! I also have to commend you on your editing, it made this part even more powerful and poignant.

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    1. Thanks, Dana! At this stage, it's all in flux. The latest chunk I sent you I've made small changes in already. A work in progress is the truth :-) Thanks, again, dearie!

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  8. This has all the earmarks of being a lovely, and melancholy story. You've done an excellent job capturing her desperation and loneliness.

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    1. Thank you, Jess. The book is a roller coaster that ends on a downhill plummet. But--it's the first in a series. The next book is completed in draft, and the third is nearly finished. *sigh* Too danged many irons in the fire :-)

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  9. Great six. Love the way you've drawn her character and the hotdogs really shows her situation so well.

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  10. Love it...especially the "dead bell of the Catholic church." Great descriptions!

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    1. Thank you so much, Ann! Few things are more lonely and hollow than a funeral bell ringing. :-)

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  11. Excellent portrayal of her hopeless situation, and a great use of sounds.

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    1. Oh, thank you, Paula! The sounds... draw the reader in and share them :-)

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  12. what a vivid world you've created!

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    1. Thank you, Maryellen! :-) The dream sequences increase that manyfold--I think. Coming soon. :-)

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  13. Excellent excerpt. I find myself wondering if her dreams really are delusions.

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    1. Oh my. THOSE are wonderful words to read! :-) Thank you :-)

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  14. That's a tragically beautiful scene :-)

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  15. I just had to drop by to see how Marissa is doing. You've created such a rich picture of perseverance in the midst of despair. Hurry up and finish this, Teresa. Even my kindle is anxious to see Marissa happy and safe.

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    1. Thanks, Mac. I had an "insecure about this story" kind of day--and then I saw this comment. Put a smile right on my face. :-) I do have such a long way to go, though. Thank you for your kind words :-)

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