Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: November 11, 2012

 

Six Sentence Sunday is a bloghop--and one of the friendliest. Participants post six sentences of their writing, then the fun begins. Readers hop from blog to blog, sharing opinions, critiques and encouragement.  We know what a solitary pursuit writing can be--and Six Sentence Sunday is a great way to meet other writers, and take a break from our solitude. Complete rules and a sign up form are at the site here.

Returning to my WIP, ATNS.  A snippet from a dream sequence. Cuylrh, the man who has taken Marissa under his wing, his original intent to teach her the language and what she'll need to know to survive in the Rialtan Empire, is struggling to remain emotionally detached. 
 
"He surveyed her from head to toe, her clean hair braided in a manner showing deference to the Giver above, and her body tucked into a baggy, white shirt and tight, black pants meant to help her blend in with his group. Who was he kidding?  As if she could blend in.  She was...anything but Rialtan.   It didn’t matter what she wore; she stood out like an exquisite flower in a field of dry grass." 

 All comments, opinions, criticisms, greatly appreciated and graciously acknowledged.  Thanks for visiting, and have a wonderful week, all. :-)

23 comments:

  1. what a great idea for a quick bloghop...just posted but i'll be thinking of you next time!! new follower, hi!

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    1. Thanks, Tammy! Nice to "meet" you. Look forward to reading your stuff :-) Thanks for the follow--I got you back :-)

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  2. The last line proves he is faltering in his struggle to remain emotionally detached. Great six! :)

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  3. Oh interesting, now you've really made me wonder where this is going to lead. Love your succinct but still emotional descriptions :)

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    1. Hey Owly! Thanks. I'm wandering a bit right and left, trying to tread a fine line between tedius and sparse. Thanks for your encouraging words. I might be finding the place I want (and need) to be. :-)

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    1. :-) Sure is. Hi Mac! Thanks, and good to see ya! :-)

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  5. What a great six! I especially love the last line - that's a great line :)

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    1. Thanks, Debora! What a unique way your name is spelled. :-) Thanks for visiting.

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  6. Oh those alien gentlemen with their misguided notions of remaining emotionally detached. ;D

    I love the poetry of that last sentence, Teresa; shows how deep his emotions actually run.

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    1. Haha! Monica--the similarities are almost stunning. Yeah...alien gentlemen are so much fun to write :-)

      Thanks for the encouraging words. You're a gem. :-)

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  7. The last sentence has my vote too. Very deft and most effective.

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    1. Hi Ian :-)Thanks! A long way to go on this one. I'll stop by and see how things are on the Bald Patch :-)

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    2. I also meant to add, I was thinking about giving this 6 Sentence Sunday a whirl. Now I see it is going to close down in January. Shame!

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  8. This is perfection, from head to toe, from the first sentence to the last! :)

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    1. Thanks, Dana! I really appreciate you stopping by when you're neck deep in NaNoWriMo! :-) Hugs :-)

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    2. Anytime!! - Nothing can stop me from coming here, Zuckerpuppe! Thank you for cheering for me :)

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    3. Zuckerpuppe! I like it, lol! I might have a new favorite word! Thanks :-) Hugs :-)

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  9. A disguise has to go deeper than clothes, all right.

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    1. Succinct way to put it, Sue Ann! Thank you :-)

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  10. Hello Teresa, thank you for sharing my posts on google- even when they don't behave! Your alien chap sounds quite romantic- I found myself thinking they should go on a date- does she know she's being surveyed? And I wonder what she thinks of him?

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    1. Hi Lily! Not in this particular instant. It's in his point of view. He's being pulled many different directions, between friends, emotions, tempers, obligations, and the strongest pull of all, his heart. Yeah, she's fighting her own battles too... Thanks for visiting. And you're welcome for the G+. I love your writing! :-)

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