Weekend Writing Warriors: July 31st, 2016

Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-)  Holy moly, it's almost August!

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found  HERE.               

This week's snippet: The male MC, Theusand,  can sense fear, and he's using that to try and locate an "intellectai" on board the Dai Klavven ship he's responsible for maintaining the peace on. The intellectai is, of course, our female MC, Lily.

He headed for deck four. When the vertical transport doors opened, the wave of fear hit him hard. He nearly doubled over before he filtered it, controlling the intensity of the emotion slamming him. He took off to his left, and after a dozen steps the wash lessened. He reversed course. The fear grew again.

His long strides hurried him toward the source. He assessed as he walked. The Intellektai was female, terrified, angry, sad, and her mind was powerful. Then the oddest part of it all dawned on him; she had no idea her emotions were reaching out to others.

That's it. What works? What doesn't?  I appreciate your comments and learn from them. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors, July 17, 2016

Hello all my fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-) 

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

Setup:  The main character, Lily, and her dog, Jobe, are prisoners on an alien ship. They're being transported by galactic slavers--to be sold. Last week the captors dumped mystery food into the holding cell, followed by a second round. The last sentence last week was this: "She put her hands together and scooped up what appeared to be a cooked grain."

         We pick up from there:

 

She licked the mound in her hands, the taste similar to rolled oats.

There really was no choice. It was this, the mystery meat, or starving to death. She quit assessing the food; it would do her no good  to discover that it also had an animal source. She shared with Jobe again. He nibbled on some, but she ate the lion’s share.

Someone banged at the open panel above the cell. Lily looked up in time to see to see a Bulrager waving the prisoners aside then motioning toward the floor beneath the opening.  Several buckets appeared, the liquid inside them sloshing as they were lowered. 

Another mad rush ensued, and she was part of it this time.

That's it. What works? What doesn't?  I appreciate your comments and learn from them. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: July 10, 2016

Hello all my fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-) 

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

Setup:  Earth has been invaded by aliens, galactic slavers. Our MC, Lily, and her dog, Jobe, were captured.  Moving ahead a little in the story: They were loaded onto a shuttle and their captors hauled them off the surface into space.  They were transferred to a large holding cell filled with creatures of all sorts, and none seemed friendly until some French speaking Earthlings were thrown into the same cell. A load of mystery food was dumped onto the floor in the center of the large cell. Lily scooped up some of it in her hands. The last sentence last week was this: "She had no idea what she was grabbing, but when she left the frenzy, she had two fists full.

         We pick up from there:

 

She returned to her place where Jobe waited. While she sniffed the slop, she watched for anyone approaching. A faint scent of vinegar mingled with the smell of meat.  She handed some to Jobe. When he devoured it, she gave him the rest, unsure if she could eat it anyway. Where the hell do you get meat out in space? The first  possibility that popped into her mind left her feeling queasy, but Jobe had no qualms about the source of his food.

Another load fell from the ceiling. She waited until the first wave of prisoners finished mobbing the new pile and moved away with their hands full, and then she went back. She put her hands together and scooped up what appeared to be a cooked grain.

That's it. What works? What doesn't?  I appreciate your comments and learn from them. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors July 3, 2016

Hello all my fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-)  If you are in the USA, happy Independence Day weekend. If you are somewhere else in the world...happy 4th of July weekend. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

Setup:  Earth has been invaded by aliens, galactic slavers. Our MC, Lily, and her dog, Jobe, were captured.  Moving ahead a little in the story: They were loaded onto a shuttle and their captors have just hauled them off the surface into space.  They were transferred to a large holding cell filled with creatures of all sorts, and none seemed friendly until some French speaking Earthlings were thrown into the same cell. It feels like days since they've had anything to eat. Something is happening... 

        

Scraping metal turned to a high screech. Every living thing in the room—with the exception of her and her new companions-- moved, scrambling toward the center of the floor. Jobe barked, but it didn’t sound like he was warning her of a threat.

Bright lights came on, then a panel in the ceiling slid open. Something dumped through the new hole above them, landing in a splattering heap. Lily watched the melee with disbelief.

Her cellmates hit each other and growled while they grabbed slop from the mystery mound. Their hands stuffed the dripping mess into their mouths. She turned to her new companions and motioned toward the pile before she ran to it. She had no idea what she was grabbing, but when she left the frenzy, she had two fists full.

That's it. What works? What doesn't? Even though it's published, I appreciate your comments and learn from them. :-)