Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Weekend Writing Warriors: January 22, 2017


Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!  And Welcome! :-)


Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA)  Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found  HERE.               


This week's snippet:  After Earth's invasion, Lily was captured by the wasp-like alien (Bulrager) slavers. She's been subjected to a sort of alien fight-club they have, something to kill time while they journey through space.  She is in jeopardy.   This week is a glimpse of the wanna-be hero, Theusand, an empath assigned duty on board this leased ship. The "she" referred to is the MC, Lily. "Intellektai" is what her designation is in his Dai Klavven Empire.




Theusand stood barefooted on the lone wooden floor on the ship, absorbing the natural energy flowing from it.  Turning the direction he sensed was toward Jebatar, star, guide, and god at once, he knelt and prayed. He reached into a fold of his hooded robe and removed a string of empath beads. Humming a single note as each silky-smooth orb slipped through his fingers, he allowed each repetition to take him further away until the outside world fled, leaving him alone in his mind. 
While he prayed, he intermittently felt her presence, but when he tried to look through her eyes to locate her, there was only darkness. She was asleep; he was sensing her dreams. He needed her awake, and he needed to feel her emotions to find her. An intellektai so blatantly afraid had to mean an illegal act was underway.
 


 That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

48 comments:

  1. Definitely intrigued to see if/how he finds her.

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    1. Neat! It's coming--and it's an intense scene. Thanks for visiting, Fallon. :-)

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  2. Fascinating the way he attempted to connect yet couldn't. Terrific snippet, Teresa. Thanks.

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    1. There's a lot of distraction on the ship, a lot of emotions to block out to be able to single out a lone person.

      Thank you, my friend! :-)

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  3. Great details. There's a subtle tension here that makes me really want to know what happens next! :-)

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    1. Cool! I'm glad you're feeling the tension. Thanks, Marcia! Made my day!

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  4. Great new character. I'm interested to see how he'll connect to Lily and what she'll think of that!

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    1. Haha. They have their moments, and a lot of them aren't good. Thanks, Alexis!

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  5. She certainly needs someone to help her.

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    1. She does, Aurora. She's tough, but she's in so far over her head. Thanks!

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  6. Oooo, Teresa. I'm curious to know more about how empaths operate,

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    1. Haha! Me too, Andrea. Discovery along the way. #authorperks ;-) Thank you!

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  7. Great snippet. I wonder what his connection is to Lily.

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    1. Not a lot now, but that will change. Thanks, Rachel!

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  8. How interesting! I wonder if he'll find his way to her and if it'll be in time.

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  9. Thank goodness there is someone looking out for her. I hope he can find her in time.

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    1. Me too. ;-) Then again, he is a bit of a prick in his own way. Thanks, Kimmy!

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  10. Intriguing worldbuilding details here!

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  11. Wow! Amazeballs. So very creative. I love it.

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  12. Fabulous world building here! I'm extremely anxious to read this story in its entirety. :)

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    1. I want to have the story wrapped up by the end of February, and then work on getting it decent enough to share with Beta readers--if I can find some :-)

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  13. I'm intrigued at this ability and can't wait to find out if he finds her. Will she sense he's reaching out to her?

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    1. Not yet. He's powerful enough to make it happen, though. :-)Thanks, Karen!

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  14. I hope he finds her and can help her. Nice world building.

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  15. Nice job. The snippet is intriguing. Makes me wonder if she can feel him searching for her. Does his probing for her make her dream of him?

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    1. Not yet, Diane. She's untrained. With his guidance, she is capable of a deliberate response. :-)

      Thanks!

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  16. There's something weird about a wood floor on a spaceship. But I get the feeling he's a little unusual, himself. It's nice to know there's (maybe) rescue coming for her, though I wish he was a little more effective!

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    1. The wooden floor area is not actually very big. It's explained in the book. :-)

      He's about to get very effective. :-)

      Thanks, Caitlin!

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  17. Wow. All I can say is wow! Awesome snippet. Love the way you wrote that. Tweeted.

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    1. Cool! Thanks, Daryl! I'm glad you like it. :-)

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  18. Julie Evelyn JoyceJanuary 22, 2017 at 8:13 PM

    This is so fabulously written! I love how in tune he is with her, knowing that she's dreaming and afraid. Can't wait for more! :)

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    1. Thanks, Evelyn. His ability is a gift of DNA, and a burden as well. :-)

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  19. So glad to find Lily has someone on her side for a change. I just hope he can find her and help her. Fabulous snippet!

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  20. Ooo great snippet with so much going on. Love it!

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  21. He comes across like a zen master - awesome snippet, Teresa. I hope his finding Lilly will be a good thing.

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    1. :-) You are always so intuitive, Kim! Yes, very much so a master in control of things. :-) Thanks for visiting.

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  22. I enjoyed the snippet but the tone is so very different from what we've been reading. Almost like two different books...of course it's hard to judge the flow from weekly excerpts, I realize. But I did like all the details for this new character.

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    1. The tone is different. It's slower and more thoughtful, While passages of the story are aimed at a visceral response--others are aiming at a more cerebral response.

      This is not the first appearance of The Sand. It is--I think--the fourth. He's gathering glimpses of her through her emotions but has yet to locate her on the ship. In fairness to him, the ship is enormous, carrying several thousand 'people'. The crew, the slaves, and the Bulragers who have leased the services of the shipping company to transport their slaves to market.

      Theusand and his staff are also contracted, and have a couple of very specific jobs onboard. Protecting Intellektai falls under upholding the trade laws.

      I still have about 20K words to write, then clean it up a bit before it can go to Beta readers. Then I'll get an idea of whether the shift in tone is annoying, interrupting, dizzying or a slew of other bad things. :-)

      Thanks for weighing in, Jean! I do take your comments quite seriously.

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  23. Your world building is phenomenal. Really like the idea of mind connections, and empathic links. Hope Lily wakes up soon so he can find her.

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