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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Weekend Writing Warriors October 8, 2017

          First Page Review info first.  The wewriwa linky list is once again hosting the "First Page Review" blog hop. It runs from the 1st of October through the 31st. The deadlinne to sign the linky-list has been extended through next Sunday, the 15th.  
          The idea is simple--you post your first page or so--up to a thousand words. It's good promo if you've got something published that you'd like to get readers' eyes on. Or, if you share something unpublished, you get some feedback, and find out if readers would turn the page and continue reading.  Sign up here The First Page Review .
On to this week's wewriwa.
            It's time for
snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 

             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor".
I've skipped ahead a couple of paras. Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand. He's not a slaver.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship.  They've arrived at what she thinks might be the helm of the ship she's on, and there's a crewmember there. The last sentence last week was spoken by him.
“You honor us with your presence, Lord Sand. Thank you for coming so soon.”

The excerpt:

The crewmember's fear-filled words echoed in her mind, then all went silent. Her mind felt confined, as though there were walls around it.  Theusand had shut her out.
This man must be capable of conversing on a high level. His long, pointed ears twitched forward, then back, jingling the metal earrings hanging from them. Then his eyes widened and his ears went straight up, as if in surprise. Her best guess was that the Sand was still talking with him
The exchange must have been brief and to the point. She’d wager that the crewmember had done everything possible to keep it that way. It’d take an idiot to prolong a meeting with the man who thought he was Lord of all.

What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.


  1. Why would he shut her out? Now I really want to know what they were "saying."

  2. I really want to know what they're saying to each other, too. :D

  3. I expect he's talking about her. How annoying that she can't hear.

  4. I like her reaction to what's happening. Though, I worry about what is going on and how it will affect her. Great snippet! :)

  5. Intriguing scene with her guesses about the telpathic exchange.

  6. I feel for her, trying to suss out what's going on from the subtle alien body language signs. Nice twist! Great snippet!

  7. Definitely curious. Like her. What doesn't he want her to know? Good job.

  8. Interesting skills he has, though it's kind of rude to exclude her. And it doesn't sound like a pleasant result, either.

  9. It must be so frustrating to be shut out of the conversation like that, albeit, or perhaps especially because it's telepathic! I love the ears too. animals' ears can be very expressive, so why not an alien's? :)

  10. Oh, this is interesting, and I want to know more about how this communication works, and what was said.

  11. Fascinating story with strange creatures and here I thought you were a regular person who took pictures and baked cakes