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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Weekend Writing Warriors October 7, 2018

 
Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors!


Happy October! It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor".  Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is in a room on the ship with a portal she can see the outside through. She's recalling Earth's alien invasion. *She is with Theusand--he is the man with clawed hands.  Last week's snippet ended with:
"
Thinking of Ben trying to stop her from crying was causing a new wave of sobs."
          This week's snippet continues from there:
 
Uninvited and unwanted, he stepped into her head, and like a magic wand had been waved, her sobbing stopped.  He was doing it after all, shutting off her tears and she had no say in it.  She tried to fight it, but her words came out minus any conviction she'd felt just seconds before. "Leave me alone."
"Never, my Earth Lily. I will leave you alone never."
The fight in her died, replaced with utter exhaustion. Warmth spread through her. Just like her fury at his intrusion, her will was nowhere to be found.  When his arms came around her and pulled her close, she leaned back against him.

  Uh oh. Where is this going? That's it for this week.  All opinions greatly appreciated. :-) Thank you so much for visiting and for commenting!

21 comments:

  1. He cares for her the same way Ben did. Doesn't want to see her upset. Nice snippet!

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    1. Thanks, Jessica. He's a challenge, for sure, complete with his own backstory that makes him an emotional wildcard (by human measure).

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  2. Hmmm, not okay with him taking away her free will and smoothing all the edges of her own thoughts. I foresee problems ahead! But a fascinating snippet....I like the twists and turns and one never knows exactly where Theusand is coming from or going!

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    1. Indeed! You have judged him well. He totters between doing what's right, and fulfilling his agenda. He might even be guilty of lying to himself. :-)

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  3. Heat has joined the two into one. Lovely snippet, my friend. Poignant.

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    1. Yep. It does, then it doesn't. It hasn't been very long since she was told that Ben is dead. (Note, I didn't say found out that Ben is dead. )

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  4. An emotional snippet. I can feel her quandary. He means well. Taking away her free will is not good.

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    1. Yeah, he does mean well. He can put her feelings and her well being ahead of his own. Sometimes he doesn't, but he finds ways of rationalizing why that's right.

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  5. It sounds as if he's grown fond of her, or does he have an ulterior motive?

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    1. :-) Yeah... Does he? How perceptive of you, Aurora!

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  6. I hope this ultimately leads somewhere good. It sounds like they may be starting a gradual friendship.

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    1. For a large part of the story, it does go to someplace good. But a betrayal early in the story will come back to bite...

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  7. I'm not a fan of the loss of free will, even when someone is doing it for kind purposes. You did a wonderful job showing both sides in just a few sentences. Such a beautiful bit of writing.

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    1. Thanks, Jess! She is very conflicted--when he gives her enough mental free-reign to think it through.

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  8. In the circumstances, I find his words quite ominous. He might mean well, but I hope he learns this is just wrong.

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    1. He will have his challenges to face trying to love within human standards. Success or failure all wait in the future. :-)

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  9. With the raw edges of her pain muted, I hope she can see beyond the loss to a brighter future . . . and possibilities close at hand.

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    1. The possibilities :-) He does mute her pain, but it will involve muting memories to do it. :-)

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  10. Although I can't say I totally trust him yet -- he is, after all, manipulating her mind -- I found this line very convincing: "I will leave you alone never." The unusual placement of 'never' made this utterance come alive for me. Wickedly nice writing.

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    1. Your comment made my day! At a time when my life is hectic and I've been away from writing for so long, I've filled up with all sorts of doubts. Thank you.

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  11. At least she has someone with her who seems to care, even if she's still being smart and cautious!

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