Happy February. I'm a firm believer that Punxutawney Phil lies. :-)
Welcome to a weekly post of Weekend Writing Warriors. If you'd like to check it out or give it a try, click here to go to wewriwa.blogspot.com
I've jumped back to Lily's story formerly referred to as Dai Klavven. That name is changing, but I haven't chosen the new name yet. For the time being, it will remain just 'DK'.
So, moving forward. I'm working on finishing DK. My muse is being awfully quiet though. :-( In this excerpt--the setup: Lily has been saved from the Bulragers by a "Sand" named Theusand. Sands can speak mind to mind. They are still traveling toward Theusand's home world, Tebrig, on the ship Lily was imprisoned on, but she's no longer in the lower level as a prisoner. She and Theusand are visiting a remote world where people are in hiding. Tonight, after dinner, they sit around in candlelight, telling stories and imbibing.
Last week's snippet ended with: “Children… We were all children then, relishing the innocence of a world unchallenged by hatred or greed. Our world was a garden, and peace and love were the crops we grew."
“It
is where our beliefs were nurtured, that we can work together and survive, that
we can be kind to each other without fear of fault or weakness, that we can
forgive the trespasses by others on our goods and our hearts, and most of all,
that we can love without end.
“These
beliefs all live in my heart as much as they live in my mind.” His eyes came
back into focus as he looked again at the children sitting around him. “They must live inside of you, each of you,
and you must carry them with you all of your days, wherever your garden may be.”
Lily
couldn’t have turned away if she’d wanted to. It was like a child’s story, for
no real world could be so beautiful, so peaceful, so full of wonders, or could
it?
“It
was.” Soft as a whisper, Theusand’s words filtered into her mind, and drifted
like a lullaby with the images of what it must have been.
Lily sat in silence, basking in the spell he’d cast.
WIthout warning, a thunderous voice boomed, shattering the tranquility. "Then evil came to our lands!”
What a killjoy! And what does he mean? Hope your muse wakes up. I want to read this story.
ReplyDeleteWhat a shattering line after such peace. Tweeted.
ReplyDeleteIt's all very lyrical until the one voice breaks the spell! Enjoyed the snippet.
ReplyDeleteLovely - I wanted to see the memories he showed. And the interruption is great!
ReplyDeleteWhat storytelling! First the sweet, idyllic opening and then boom, evil shows up! Those kids are going to remember this for sure.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like the dream of peace and love we all wish for--and can achieve to some extent, but like the strident voice at the end says, it never lasts. I still love that he can hear her thoughts!
ReplyDeleteBoom, and the magic was gone. Nicely done, didn't expect that.
ReplyDeleteThe shattering of a dream... that's evil in itself but also the sign of a storyteller's power, to lull one into the dream so deeply.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best with your muse. Though... maybe yours and mine are out partying without us.
So raw, and horribly real great snippet!
ReplyDelete