Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: August 19, 2012



Six sentence Sunday is a great, weekly bloghop.  Talented participants post six sentences (or very close to that number) of a current writing project to share with their readers.  Then the fun begins--visiting blogs on the list and commenting on other six sentence posts.  It's a great way to meet other writers, get feedback, and help others by visiting their posts, lending ideas and support.

You can visit the list of participants by clicking here at Sixsunday.com  

My post this week is from my WIP, ATNS, where I've skipped a few paras of a hide and seek game Marissa is playing with her two year old son. It's her turn, and this is what happens:


"Marissa ducked behind a clump of mountain laurel, then stumbled in pain.  Her ears began to pound, and from above, there was a blinding beam of blue light.  The drumming noise was disorienting—seeming to come from everywhere. She couldn’t think, couldn’t see, the light so bright it forced her to shut her eyes. A feeling of pressure was followed by her body shifting, tumbling…falling. Thud.  Blackness."

What happened? Any comments and criticisms will be received with gratitude and graciously acknowledged.

Please, visit other sixers...and join in the fun.  :-)

32 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, I was holding my breath reading this, wonderful emotion, I am right there with Marissa.

    Another fabulous six :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Maryellen. I am so glad to read that. That is where I want the reader to be. :-)

      Delete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sonia--I left this snippet of comment because it has a link that works--gets me to your google+. The other link doesn't work; it dead-ends.

      Delete
  3. love ur six sentence sunday! I'd love for you to check out mines and leave a comment. thnx.

    http://www.soniawrites.com/2012/08/six-sentence-sunday-wedding-bells.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for visiting, Sonia. I did...found it through the other link. :-)

      Delete
  4. Oh, great show of what she experienced! But what happened? I need more! LOL Great six! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jessica! Gosh, I hope readers of the whole book feel that way. :-)

      Delete
  5. Hi Teresa, this is a really tense and crisp arc you created, one that leaves the reader wanting to know what the hell is going on at the end of it. Great audio-visual imagery with "blue light" and "drumming noise". I feel like I'm there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I take suggestions seriously, Dana! And I think this most recent edit--since you read it, shows that. I took your suggestion. I think it added to it! Thank you, thank you, thank you :-) Hugs :-)

      Delete
  6. Oh wow! This is very well described and tense, too, because one assumes Marissa's little son is now in potential danger too. I can't believe I have to wait a whole week for more...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Manic! This is very eye-opening. I hadn't realized that so many would latch on to the possible danger that her son is in. It all comes out in the wash--in the pages of the story. :-)

      Delete
  7. I love the way you managed to manipulate a carefree moments into tension and intrigue, that's not easy to do. I wonder if her reality is interrupting her dreams, or if this has something to do with how she ended up in her current situation. Excellent job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jess! Music to my ears. I hoped that the reader would wonder. :-)

      Delete
  8. I realize you're a bit limited by the format, but I'd sure like to know more about that feeling of pressure: was is like being squeezed, was it all over her body, did it affect her mind? I picture her pressing her hands over her eyes, or mayb one on her eyes and one on an ear. You've really got me interested!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the great comment, Marcia. I will revisit this in the ms with your comment in mind :-) !

      Delete
  9. Didn't see that coming. Is it reality or a delusion, I wonder?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kate. Yay! I'd hoped for that. Blindsided by it--just like Marissa.

      I wonder? I can't tell. That is the big hook in the story. Delusions or not? Is she delusional, or did it happen?

      Delete
  10. Oh, wow, so this is where it all started! Alien abduction? Great description of something she doesn't understand is happening...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Angela, I'm glad to read that you allow for possibilities. Abduction--or is it something else. :-) Thanks for visiting! :-)

      Delete
  11. Love how you use all the senses here, and the contrast between the blinding light and the final blackness is very nicely done. Great six, Teresa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Kate. :-) Yours were some good words to read :-)

      Delete
  12. Great six, with so many senses coming into play. Excellent!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Paula! :-) I tried to cover a lot of the senses. More to come. :-)

      Delete
  13. WOW! Scary and intense. Great job with your ending. What a page turn this snippet is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Carrie. The actual moment of abduction. I wonder how others imagine it would be? :-)

      Delete
  14. Oh crikey! This is very scary for her but what about the toddler? Roll on next week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Elin :-) My lips are zipped. Can't give it away. :-)

      Delete
  15. Oh, my...what did happen? Can't wait till next week to find out!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yay! Can't wait to visit the other sixers and enjoyed your excerpt :) I just found your blog and am happy to find a fellow bio + writer lady!

    ReplyDelete