Hello
fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-) September 11...
Weekend Writing
Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at
wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of
their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live
before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we
don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on
empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA)
Then we visit each other and read, comment,
critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart
good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants
do both, can be found HERE.
This
week's snippet: We're back to our main character, Lily, and her dog Jobe, in a holding cell on an alien ship. They've met up with other humans, all from France. Jean is one of them. The
alien who abducted her (Dev Areen)has just begun recruiting prisoners (for what??) by
promising them extra food, better food. An enormous creature
volunteered. Last week's snippet ended with this: "Metal bracelets graced its ankles and wrists; broken
bits of chain dangled from each."
We continue from there... Please forgive creative punctuation.
Dev
Areen’s men raised their weapons, but it had no effect on this one. Lily
silently cheered when the guards took several steps back to avoid contact with
the huge thing. She crossed her fingers that it would crush Dev Areen right
where he was holding his pompous court.
It
was not her day. She could have lived with that, but then it really turned out
to not be her day. Blue-black pointed at
her and said, “You will come.”
Her
knee-jerk reaction was to tell him no, but if he just left Jobe alone she could
bear nearly anything. She turned to Jean and asked in a hushed voice, “Please
keep Jobe. This bastard has promised to kill him, and if I don’t come back,
please take care of him?”
That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
Humans...capable of such beauty, such kindness, generosity and love.
Humans...capable of the vilest expressions of evil...
Oh, what will happen next? I'm so anxious to read this story in its entirety. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I hope they both get out of there ok! It's probably not a good thing that she has to go.
ReplyDeleteThings just keep getting worse...I'm enjoying the twist of her trying to keep her dog safe in the midst of all this. Adds a whole extra layer of intensity. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteJeeze, can Lily ever catch a break? I hope they don't insist on Jobe coming with her. That would bode very ill for them indeed. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteNice excerpt. Tweeted.
ReplyDeleteSo much for volunteers. Sounds like he's a public servant at heart, we have a word for this ... voluntold :)
ReplyDeleteDev Areen just really has it in for her, doesn't he? At least she found someone to watch over Jobe.
ReplyDeleteShe didn't even volunteer, but maybe she'll find a friend.
ReplyDeleteUgh, now I'm even more worried for her. I'm glad she has someone who can watch the dog at least.
ReplyDeleteSave the pooch and it will save her. How's that for a good ending.
ReplyDeleteBeing picked on is not what I think of as volunteering! I guess he was just determined enough. Glad someone can watch the dog, though, and great snippet!
ReplyDeleteI've been a faithful reader every week and look forward to this post. Today I'm wondering...is this a romance? Are going to meet a hero? Or is Lily going to battle the aliens by herself?
ReplyDeleteHi Cara. Thanks for all the encouragement. I feel like it's going the right direction--to have you come back week after week to read new lines.
DeleteYes, a hero is trying to come onto the scene. He was introduced briefly a month ago, perhaps. He's not been able to locate her on the ship yet. I'll toggle back and forth (his POV and hers) over the next several snippets to give a better glimpse of what he's about. :-)
Are WE going to meet a hero. I left out a word.
ReplyDeleteI love how she still thinks of Jobe when she could be facing death. I'm intrigued to know where he's taking her.
ReplyDeleteJobe adds extra comfort for her in her predicament, but worrying about the dog also adds to her torment. I'm sure you will realise that your readers are currently starting a 'Save Jobe' campaign! Good snippet and quite riveting.
ReplyDeleteThis girl is as brave as they come. I love that she made provision for her dog before she left.
ReplyDeleteShe certainly has a talent for finding trouble, doesn't she? She's like a trouble magnet. Great snippet! :D
ReplyDeleteYeah, I didn't think he'd let her get away with not participating in... whatever it is he's planning.
ReplyDeleteOh no, she's separated from the dog. That's been one of the things that's humanized her. I hope she gets reunited.
ReplyDeleteYep, separated. :-) Thanks, Ed!
DeleteDogs and babies steal the show. We're all so concerned about Jobe that we slide over what will happen to her. BTW, the caption under the memorial "and unborn" broke my heart, too.
ReplyDeleteThey do! I admit to being surprised at how the MC having a dog beside her--both in peril, has drawn comments. Thanks, Diane!
DeleteOh Oh! I wonder what's going to happen! I'm looking forward to next week, great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rin-Rin!
DeleteOh, this just tearing my heart out! I'm so glad you said she's going to meet someone soon who might give her some comfort.
ReplyDelete~Joyce Scarbrough
Thanks, Joyce!
DeleteGreat sense of foreboding in this snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Arhuel. :-)
DeleteOH, how forlorn. ::sniff:: I hope it has an upside in the future. Good snippet, filled with emotional baggage.
ReplyDeleteUpside coming, the down, then back up again. A roller-coaster of a story. Thanks for visiting, Elizabeth!
Delete