Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors October 2, 2016


 
Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-)  Happy October. Hard to believe! :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA) Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found  HERE.               
This week's snippet: We're back to our main character,  Lily, and her dog Jobe, in a holding cell on an alien ship. The alien who abducted her has just begun recruiting prisoners by promising them extra food, better food. Lily did not volunteer, but then the alien pointed at her and told her to come with them. She asked another abductee (from Earth) to hold her dog so he doesn't follow. Last week's snippet ended with this: "This alien bastard has promised to kill him, and if I don’t come back, please take care of Jobe."
We continue from there...

He grabbed Jobe’s collar and gave her a quick nod, fear showing in his eyes as he glanced Dev Areen’s way. Her pup’s whining went straight to her heart when she headed the Bulrager’s direction. Hush, Jobe. Please dear God, don’t let that sicko notice him.
         With every dread-filled step, her mind spun, concocting a way to get out of this. But all her thinking was in vain; she followed like an animal being led to slaughter. 
 
After a half dozen hallways and as many turns,  they finally stopped. Nothing distinguished the door they stood in front of from the others they'd passed, but when it opened, beyond was nothing like the holding cell she'd just left. Easily twice the size, the center was surrounded by a metal wall she guessed to be seven or eight feet high. Bulragers climbed makeshift ladders and ropes to reach seats perched on top of its rust-stained sides.



Is she in a fighting ring??? That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

24 comments:

  1. very intriguing. Can't wait to find out what's going on.

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  2. Yep, you've got me hooked. I'm wondering what happens next.

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  3. My first thought is "I bet they're not rust stains, but blood stains." I think our girl in in a world of trouble. Great snippet!

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  4. Not a good feeling - like being an animal being led to slaughter then to end up in that room - trouble is brewing. Tweeted.

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  5. Not looking good for her. Great writing!

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  6. A fighting ring was my first thought, but now I'm wondering if there are worse entertainment possibilities...does not look good for her.

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  7. You built a lot of tension enough for me to want to scream. Well done, Teresa.

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  8. This definitely works. I'm scared for her and for her dog.

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  9. Ugh, this seems very Coliseum-like. You're building up a crazy amount of tension here!

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  10. Darn. I'm hanging on a cliff here.

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  11. Just when you think it can't get much worse...great tension here, Teresa! And the visual is super-creepy.

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  12. At first, I thought leaving her dog behind might have been a mistake. Now, I'm not so sure. Intriguing, as always! :)

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  13. Julie Evelyn JoyceOctober 2, 2016 at 7:24 PM

    I'm feeling all the feels right along with her! So scary, and I'm so anxious to know what happens next!

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  14. Oh, no. This does not sound good at all. Her 'slaughter' simile might just come true!
    I don't know if it's a result of the 8-10 editing, but there's something awry with the sentence "Easily twice the size, the center..." How it's written, it's hard to tell what is twice the size. I think you mean the whole room?

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  15. That's definitely a most foreboding scene! There can't be any easy way out of this place.

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  16. Uh oh. This doesn't sound good at all.

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  17. Interesting spot she got taken to. Whatever this room is, it sounds ominous.

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  18. I'm intrigued to know what the room is and why she's been taken there.

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  19. Oh no, none of this is good. Her dog far away, and she in an unknown place with tall walls. Great snippet!

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  20. UH oh, seems very ominous indeed! But intriguing...quite a story going on here!

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  21. I'm less worried for Jobe than I am for her! Yikes - this does NOT seem like a place I want to be - especially with my remarkable sense of MISdirection! =D

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  22. The tension is... tense. It sounds like she did wind up in some kind of a pen, who or what is she going to have to face. And poor Jobe, his whining really yanked at my emotions.

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