Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors November 6, 2016

Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! :-) NOOOOOvember! The month of Nanos and Turkeys--and sometimes--first snowfalls.  I hope all of you Nanowrimos are doing great! I, for one, am hopelessly behind.

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live before 9:00 AM Sunday EST. (We check signups and remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post-- to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA)  Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found  HERE.               

This week's snippet: We're back to our main character,  Lily.  After Earth's invasion, she was captured by the wasp-like alien (Bulrager) slavers. She caught the attention of one of their military leaders who has forced her to go with him to another place in the ship. She's just realized that she is at a fighting ring.  Last week's snippet ended with this: "A Bulrager lowered a ladder and blue-black shoved her in front of him then pointed at the bottom rungs. “Climb.”         

We continue from there...


It really stuck in her craw to do as she was told, but she kept her mouth shut and she climbed. Maybe she’d be spared and she’d live to fight another day. Or even better, to escape if she saw an opportunity.
When she took her seat next to the Bulrager commander, she shuddered at her elevated view of the floor. Stains mottled the rusted metal with an even darker brown color. Blood. She felt sick. So this must be how they pass the long days between capturing slaves, and unloading them somewhere out in the hinterlands of space to sell to the highest bidder.   


 That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

23 comments:

  1. Stains mottled the rusted metal with an even darker brown color.

    Excellent visuals, Teresa. I shuddered too

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  2. Great imagery. Made me cringe. I'm curious to know why he's making her watch the fight.

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  3. Great description. Really hoping Lily gets her chance to escape.

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  4. At least she's a spectator and not a participant! At least not yet. Holding breath at the sights she's about to see . . .

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  5. I missed last week, so I was surprised this week to find out that she has to watch the fight. I originally feared she was going to be in ring. I'm curious to find out what she sees.

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  6. You paint a frightening picture, enough to cause this reader to shudder. Demonic it recalls the Hitler years-so powerful is your writing. Now let's see our heroine get out of this mess. Please.

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  7. Julie Evelyn JoyceNovember 6, 2016 at 8:47 AM

    You've created such a spooky and disturbing atmosphere, Teresa. Probably exactly what you were going for, so kudos! :D Best of luck with NaNo! You can do it!!!

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  8. Such amazing description! I feel sick just picturing it. But, at least she doesn't have to fight. I fear what else they want her to do though. Great snippet!

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  9. I hope they are not trying to frighten her to death! Good (if scary) snippet.

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  10. Such an interesting twist that he wants her to watch, not fight--this time at least. Great description of the fighting ring, by the way.

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  11. Intense snippet. Leave you begging to kno wwhat comes next.

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  12. Grim, but since I care about your heroine, I'll hang in there with her. I hope things improve in her situation! Great excerpt....very foreboding.

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  13. Ok, but that still begs the question - what was she brought there for, if not to fight? Not a good situation!

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  14. I'm relieved she doesn't have to fight. But why does he want her there?

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  15. I'm sure her insight is correct. Of course, they wouldn't get good prices for damaged slaves. So, is that really what they're doing?

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  16. It sounds like they have a quantity over quality approach--and don't mind a few slaves being injured or dying. Jerks.

    Good luck on NaNo! I'm behind, too, but there's still time to catch up!

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  17. If she dies there's no story right? BUt thinks ae looking grim. As for Nano, I'm a bit behind too. We can still make it!

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  18. That's a terrible sight and place to have to be in! It doesn't seem like there's a quick, easy way out of this.

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  19. I wouldn't like that view either. Excellent visuals, great snippet

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  20. What an awful place. This is a well written scene.

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  21. uh-huh! She seems to be a spectator now but I hope they don't force her to fight there. Great descriptions!

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  22. The tension just keeps getting higher! Thanks for sharing!

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  23. This makes me scared for her. Good job.

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