Weekend Writing Warriors November 19, 2017

   It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor".  Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand. He's not a slaver.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered, and have arrived at what she thinks might be the helm of the ship she's on. There's a crew member there--a different sort of alien. Theusand spoke with him, and it appears to have rattled her protector/captor--which is quite odd. He just informed her that they have an agreement to reach.



The excerpt:

“We have some kind of agreement to reach? What?”

“Not now, Lily. My mind is occupied.”

“I’ve never seen you like this. What has you rattled?”

“Rattled? I don’t think my behavior fits the Earth definition of ‘rattled’.”

“Seriously? What’s up all the sudden with this definition stuff”

Theusand narrowed his eyes at her. “Didn’t you want to ask me something about the man I just spoke to?”

Well, he is easily irritated. 

That's it. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.  All feedback appreciated!

Weekend Writing Warriors October 15, 2017

Last call for First Page Reviews sign ups. The linky-list will close at the end of today. This is an October-only event where writers post the first one-thousand words of their novel or WIP. 
          The idea is simple--you post your first page or so--up to a thousand words. It's good promo if you've got something published that you'd like to get readers' eyes on. Or, if you share something unpublished, you get some feedback, and find out if readers would turn the page and continue reading.  Sign up here by clicking on: The First Page Review . On to this week's wewriwa.
            It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor".  Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand. He's not a slaver.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. They've arrived at what she thinks might be the helm of the ship she's on, and there's a crewmember there--a different sort of alien. The last sentence last week was a thought that Lily had about Theusand aka Lord Sand: "It’d take an idiot to prolong a meeting with the man who thought he was Lord of all."



The excerpt:

They moved away from the small group that had gathered a short distance away.  “Could he read my mind? I heard his thoughts,” Lily said.

“No... he is a lower, incapable of anything more than conversing. ”

“Like me?”

His brows furrowed. “Like you, how?”

“You know—like me—a lowly ‘lower’?”

His face relaxed, probably when understanding registered. “Right now, by definition, you are a lower, but if we reach an agreement, your classification will change.”

That's it. Please forgive creative punctuation used to get it to a semi-natural place to pause (and forgive the crazy formatting that Blogger is subjecting this blog to). 

 All feedback appreciated!

Weekend Writing Warriors October 8, 2017

          First Page Review info first.  The wewriwa linky list is once again hosting the "First Page Review" blog hop. It runs from the 1st of October through the 31st. The deadlinne to sign the linky-list has been extended through next Sunday, the 15th.  
          The idea is simple--you post your first page or so--up to a thousand words. It's good promo if you've got something published that you'd like to get readers' eyes on. Or, if you share something unpublished, you get some feedback, and find out if readers would turn the page and continue reading.  Sign up here The First Page Review .
On to this week's wewriwa.
            It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor". I've skipped ahead a couple of paras. Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand. He's not a slaver.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship.  They've arrived at what she thinks might be the helm of the ship she's on, and there's a crewmember there. The last sentence last week was spoken by him. “You honor us with your presence, Lord Sand. Thank you for coming so soon.”



The excerpt:

The crewmember's fear-filled words echoed in her mind, then all went silent. Her mind felt confined, as though there were walls around it.  Theusand had shut her out.

This man must be capable of conversing on a high level. His long, pointed ears twitched forward, then back, jingling the metal earrings hanging from them. Then his eyes widened and his ears went straight up, as if in surprise. Her best guess was that the Sand was still talking with him

The exchange must have been brief and to the point. She’d wager that the crewmember had done everything possible to keep it that way. It’d take an idiot to prolong a meeting with the man who thought he was Lord of all.

What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.