Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. Happy first Sunday in November. Yikes! November ! :-)
For all of you taking the NaNoWriMo plunge--Here's a BIG "You can do it! GO WARRIORS!" :-)
Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE
This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working
title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"
The ruler, Deamante, is about to become a father. His mate's sister, Crinda, has come and she's unwelcome. This week's eight sheds a tiny bit of light on the bad blood between them:
Creative punctuation in use. :-)
The ruler, Deamante, is about to become a father. His mate's sister, Crinda, has come and she's unwelcome. This week's eight sheds a tiny bit of light on the bad blood between them:
Creative punctuation in use. :-)
Deamante looked out the window past swaying branches of a wisdom tree. The late afternoon light obscured by heavy clouds lent a strange color to the river beyond. The water itself looked red, capped with pink froth, tumbling and crashing over and around red boulders. Another booming round of thunder rolled above them, snapping his attention back to the room. “It is an omen, an omen of his strength, that something so formidable, so
mighty as a storm… will sweep across my son's first breath of life.”
Without even looking away from Bella’s face, Crinda
accused, “I've read my glass and
bones, the real omens. Mine came as a gift; yours come now, false and hollow. Damn your pride, Deamante; you forced this. You stole her away from our people; you took a woman little more than a girl.”
I wished I had read some of the previous snippets so I better understand the phrase "yours come now, ...." Sounds interesting.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Feather. :-) Most of the first chapter thus far, is here in snippets from 8sunday. I'll gather them together to make their own post. :-)
DeleteVery atmospheric, and I love the name "wisdom tree"!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ian! Good to "see" you! :-)
DeleteI love his wistful sound when he talks of his son having such strength
ReplyDeleteThanks, Chelle! He's in love with the idea of having a son. :-)
DeleteBeautiful snippet! The word choice really made this powerful and I loved it. And it provided good backstory since I was wondering what bad history they had.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lauren! :-)
DeletePowerful snippet, lots of conflict between the characters, loved it!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gemma! ;-)
DeleteThat last bit puts me in Crinda's camp. Maybe Deamante shouldn't go around impregnating young girls. >:(
ReplyDeleteGreat eight!
Haha! Well said. He's a real piece of work. :-)
DeleteOh wow, now I get the bad blood between the two. The last line from Crinda is very powerful. Excellent job Teresa!
ReplyDeleteHistory Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders
Thanks, Cindy! :-)
DeleteVery powerful prose. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica! :-)
DeleteLoved this. The red water, like blood. The way he's trying to turn his unease into an omen, but its denied by his sister-in-law who reads bones and glass...very powerful! I'm worried about his wife and the unborn babe!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Millie! Hang in there. I'm going through the first chapter before I change to anything else. :-)
DeleteStrong imagery and emotions here. You're really got a handle on these characters. I'm invested in everybody now :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Marcia :-) Writing, learning, writing, learning...
DeleteEnjoyed the details, like the red waters...good to know more of the backstory. Excellent excerpt! And I feel sorry for the mother in labor...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica :-)
Deleteevery week I'm drawn in. I don't like Crinda. LOL. There are some great details, the rushing red water, the wisdom tree, and all this while we await the birth of the babe. love it
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michelle! Big smile, here! :-)
DeleteThat's such powerful, evocative imagery. Deamante sounds like he could be in a bit of trouble, perhaps deservedly.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Carrie-Anne :-) ! Up to this point, he's been arrogant. He's about to take a turn for the worse.
DeleteFantastic tension and details, Teresa. Foreboding imagery, anger, and omens. This ones sounds like a TBR! :D
ReplyDeleteThanks, Monica! I'm grinning from ear to ear to read your words! ;-)
Deletewonderful detail and the tension is quite palatable. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks, A.S. :-)
DeleteNice building up of tension, and revelation of some back story.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sue Ann! :-)
DeleteThe husband sees what he chooses to see. The bitter sister-in-law shoots him down, What a scene while the young mother-to-be may be in trouble. You've captured me in this tragic scene of family rivalry while a life may hang in the balance. Wonderful eight.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charmaine! I think most people will be able to relate to conflict within the family. This conflict is particularly ugly.
DeleteWe live in the mountains -- love "rolling" thunder thru the valleys!
ReplyDeleteKudos!
Thanks, Chip. Glad it was something you related to! :-)
Deletevery powerful with wonderful visuals - I'd like a wisdom tree please
ReplyDeleteHa! I'd like one too. Wisdom trees for everyone! Thanks for visiting, Sue. ;-)
DeleteI wonder what his son's fate will actually be and who is right.
ReplyDeleteWhat wonderful writing Teresa. I've been neglecting the blog and this is exactly the stuff I miss. Well done.
ReplyDelete