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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors: June 22, 2014



 

 Weekend Writing Warriors

      Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in. 


     Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

     Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE


      I've picked up directly from two weeks ago when Kad started to consider the idea of remaining downriver for the night, and heading upstream into the mountains after sunrise . Creative punctuation in use today.  


Fode answered, his voice low enough that a casual listener wouldn't hear his words. "Your friend does present a particular challenge, but like I said, I know people who'd be willing to put you up, all of you... for the right money." He looked around the room and when his eyes settled back on Kad, he added, "Money always has the final say."

Kad didn't need to be told that; he knew how things worked. There weren't many times when money didn't have the final say, even when it came to turning in a so-called  friend who was harboring a "savage". Still, something told him to trust this guy. He glanced at his companions one more time, allowing his eyes to linger on Tayden. The full weight of his friend's safety, likely his very life, rested on Kad's shoulders, a reminder of how much he was going to risk when he agreed to Fode's offer.
    .

That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad? I'd love to hear it.  Thank you so much for reading this.

42 comments:

  1. Sounds intriguing and I love that line about money having the final say. Sorry, I've been away from this for awhile and am not familiar with the story, but it held my interest. Great writing as always, Teresa! ☺

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  2. Sad but true, money does always have the final say. For some reason his instincts might be telling him to trust Fode, but I'm feeling the exact opposite. Then again, they don't have that many options do they? Great snippet, as always, Teresa!

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    1. Thank you, Elyzabeth. Yep. Options are limited. :-)

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  3. Terrific tension in this scene, Teresa!

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  4. You've really captured his difficulty with trust as he considers the safety of his friends. Great 8!

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  5. I liked the way you set the scene. Reminded me of Peter Lorre in "Casablanca."

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  6. I like how you're drawing out the tension in the whole scene. I think you've got the right amount of detail here; we know what the risks are without you having to spell everything out.

    I am worried that somebody might still attack them, though!

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    1. Thanks, Marcia. :-) Glad the details aren't over or under done. :-)

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  7. Intense, high stakes going on here. A very effective scene!

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    1. Thanks, Veronica. Great to hear that. :-)

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  8. Great tension. There's always something. Nicely done, Teresa.

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    1. Always is, huh? It's good for storytellers, though. :-) Thanks for visiting.

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  9. Yes, money has the final say. And the uncertainty around this decision - to trust or not? - comes across clearly, with subtle reminders that "money talks" cuts both ways.

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  10. Great tension. You've raised the stakes and leave the reader breathless to see what happens next. Well done.

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  11. I can't think of anything to add to the conversation. It's a lovely snippet. You should be very proud of it.

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  12. He must protect his charge. A wonderful man is he and heavy is his burden to make the right choices. Excellent eight.

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  13. I like this a lot! Some great tension, and even though I am reading out of context, I can still understand enough about their relationships, to see that this could be a betrayal, and I feel Kad's conflict. Great 8 :)

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  14. Kad has a good judge of character from the sound of it. Wonder what will happen next once he accepts Fode's offer. Great snippet!

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  15. I hope his instincts are right and that money talks to his advantage.

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  16. I'd still like a physical description of what makes Tayden different.

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    1. Coming. :-) Thanks for visiting, Sue Ann.

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  17. Lots of tension. Hope he made the right decision. I'm curious about how Tayden is different myself.

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  18. I love your style of writing, Teresa, and I'm really enjoying this story---it's frustrating to be restricted to only eight sentences of it at a time! :D

    I'm assuming that even if Tayden was shunned by his own people for being an albino/very light skinned (was that right?), he still looks enough like his people to be shunned by those who believe them to be inferior?

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    1. Thanks, Sarah. Your words are very encouraging. :-)

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  19. This is the first time that I recall hearing Tayden described as a "savage" - reminds me of the old Westerns and Native Americans. I am curious exactly what sets him apart.
    Really curious as to whether this Fode can be trusted? Good snippet.

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  20. Ahhhh! I need more...but, hopefully if I'm patient, I'll get another dose in seven days : )

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  21. "Dreamers, Lovers and Star Voyagers" has been included in our Sites To See #382. Be assured that we hope this helps to point many new visitors in your direction.

    http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2014/06/sites-to-see-382.html

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    1. Wow, Jerry, thank you so much for including me!

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