Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors July 27, 2014



 Weekend Writing Warriors

      Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns. The last weekend of July!  So glad you can stop by for a visit. :-)

 
     Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

     Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

 
    The travelers are now on the boat that will take them upriver into the Firce Mountains. Tayden  nearly takes a tumble into the water. Um, and they haven't even left the dock yet. :-)



     Shouldering his way past the three of them, Wiley untied the cleat hitch securing the bow line, and then untied the stern. His quick movement set the boat rocking, nearly launching Tayden over the side. Wiley grabbed him by the back of his coat, then pulled the lanky man back. Steadying him, he wore a devilish smile when he said, “You need some water-legs, er... were you meaning to take an early morning dip?”

     Tayden stammered, seemingly incapable of making a reply.

     “Don’t you worry none, son. Some of you was made for land, and some you was made for sky. And that’s a good thing for the rest of us cause the river’d be a mighty crowded place if we all was made for water.


That's it. What works, what doesn't? 

Thanks for visiting!

56 comments:

  1. LOL - mighty crowded indeed :) Yes, I like Wiley.

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  2. Great descriptions and scene setting! I like Wiley too.

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  3. I love Wiley's little speech. It's poetic and it lets us know how out of his element Tayden is. Very nice.

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  4. Lol, love it! I am really enjoying Wiley (apt name;). You always leave me hungry for more. Well done.

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    1. I am so glad to read that! Thank you, Tina :-)

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  5. LOL! I really like how you mix humor with drama. They set each other off without being confusing. Hope you pick up from here next week!

    You have got an extra S in "Tayden's stammered" and I believe you lost the ending quote mark at the very end of the excerpt.

    My editor persona notices this stuff but the reader in me is just enjoying the story :)

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    1. Thanks, Marcia. Yep... ~sigh~ I make these kinds of mental errors on tag.tag kinds of days. ;-)

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  6. LOL Love Wiley's wisdom. Oh, and as Marcia pointed out there is an extra 's in "Tayden's stammered". Great snippet as always, Teresa!

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    1. :-) I'm glad you like him, Elyzabeth!Thanks for the edit. :-)

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  7. I love Wiley! So much fun Teresa.

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  8. What a delicious eight. Thanks, Teresa for the Tayden's almost catastrophe and everyone's fave Wiley's humor.

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  9. I could visualize the scene really well and that Wiley is such a vivid character - great 8!

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  10. I think this will be the third time I've said it, but I adore Wiley.

    His last paragraph of dialogue is beautiful, Teresa. Perfect tone, perfect sentiment.

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    1. Woot! Thanks, Sarah! I think I'm on the right track. :-)

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  11. Love Wiley's dialect. Sure love his humor. Wonderful snippet.

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    1. Thanks, Karen! He's coming to life via wewriwa posts. :-)

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  12. Wiley is very vivid. I get a great sense of him even from this short snippet. Well done. :)

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    1. Thanks, Beth. This is a total rewrite of a book I wrote in 2011. Wiley barely existed in the original. It's fascinating how a story can evolve. :-)

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  13. Awesome snippet. I'm intrigued but I also understand Wiley's sentiment. Thanks for making sure I showed up :)

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    1. Thanks, Tamara--and you are quite welcome. We're glad you tried again! :-)

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  14. This is well done. I like the feel for the difference between characters and how Tayden is a fish out of water. ;)

    Three little quibbles - Tayden’s stammered (extra 's), a comma would help between "none" and "son," and you seem to be missing the end quotation on the last bit of dialogue.

    But, other than those three relatively minor things, this looks really good and I definitely want to read more. :)

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    1. Thanks for your kind words, Kimberly, and for the edit! :-)

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  15. This was a great snippet! I actually don't have any concrit this time XD I like how Wiley isn't really affected by another character falling overboard and potentially drowning while Tayden is like O.O It makes Wiley seem sagely and wise :) Also, it's clear you did some research on boats, which is great. Makes the writing seem more authentic than giving vague descriptions. Always a pleasure to read your snippets ^^

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    1. Thanks, PB. for all of the reader insight. :-)

      We boated a lot when our children were growing up. We had a dock space leased every summer from a local borough. We spent every weekend there. Packed a cooler and headed to the river and didn't head home until Sunday evening. Memories... :-)

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  16. Everything works. I love the dialect and humor.

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  17. I love the world you've created and your characters. Can't wait to see what happens when they get to the Fierce Mountains.
    History Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders

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    1. Well, one chapter of his life ends, and another one begins. Could there be love in his future. Someone who can accept him??? lol. Thanks for your encouragement, Cindy. :-)

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  18. I like the "voice" of the piece. I can hear the character speak.

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  19. The voice is so strong! Very well done. Great look into both characters :)

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  20. Hee! Perfect dialogue! So true, too! I think about 90% of me was made for land. :D Well done, Teresa!

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  21. The dialogue was so clear and distinct. Great snippet!

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  22. Love his way of designating each person. Nicely done, Teresa. :)

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  23. I found that last sentence really insightful and I have to say that I agree with it! It's kind of inspiring, actually. Made me wonder what I myself am made of :)

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    1. Thanks, Spirit! I'm tickled that it made you wonder. :-)

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  24. Huh, Wiley sounds like he's from my 'neck of the woods'. Like a man that quietly gets things done while others stand around and talk about it, or posture for each other. It reminds me of the scene now in "U.S. Marshals" where they are about to take the hunt to the river, and Tommy Lee Jones's character asks, "OK, who knows this area the best?" Every single local there raises his hand. Then he asks, "OK, who's the most inbred SOB (saying the words) here?" An older gentleman spits his tobacco juice. The marshal points at him and says, "You go with me."

    Sorry for the tangent. :O) This sounds like something I will be reading more!

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    1. Oh, that was a good movie. I use that expression too--my neck of the woods! Fellow country gal here. Thanks for visiting!

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  25. Great snippet. I like the teasing nature, even though Tayden probably doesn't appreciate it LOL. The only thing I suggest is consider saying "Steadying him, Wiley wore a devilish grin when he said..." to break up the 1 him and 2 he's

    Keep smiling,
    Yawatta

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    1. Thanks, Yawatta--good suggestion. There is a bit of pronoun confusion going on there. :-)

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  26. This snippet seems to add more mystery as to why Tayden is so different ... some made for land, some for sky. Wiley is still a likable and eccentric character.

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