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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Weekend Writing Warriors: February 8, 2015

Welcome Warriors.  If you'd like to know about the Weekend Writing Warriors teeshirts,  please see note at the end.
        Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 

          Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE   
This is Chapter 2 from my WIP, ATNS, called "The Hunter"  where we're introduced to the male main character, Cuylrh (rhymes with Tyler).They're preparing for a hunt on a remote world. Abraxum is Cuylrh's "first guard", a royal designation. He is a teacher, mentor, and bodyguard to Cuylrh.
The last sentence last week was spoken by Cuylrh: 
“A well-kept blade will keep a man alive, be it used in defense or for putting food on a  table. "

We continue from there:

Hot wind swayed trees and shook brittle shrubs, drying the sweat on his forehead before it could trickle down his cheeks.     
His old guard, dressed in the same leathers, holding a sword even larger than his own, nodded in return. “Wise words, m’Lord, but there are times when a sword is a poor choice for either.”
The air grew soundless, save for the wind rattling by. “There are always exceptions, as you well know, Abraxum. You’ve counseled me on such matters.”

The old guard’s tone remained flat when he said, “And do you recall the lessons on working the mind rather than the metal? That the former often serves better than the latter when facing responsibilities?”


 (Sorry for the font changes. Blogger is being wonky tonight)

That's it. What works. What doesn't? I'm grateful for every comment you leave. :-)

Teespring, the company that prints the teeshirts operates in an unusual manner. When we launch a teeshirt drive, we have to set a "goal" number of shirts to sell. That number directly affects the price that teespring charges when shirts are sold. The higher the goal number, the lower the offering price. We didn't meet our goal. So, our campaign ended. We had the opportunity to reconfigure our goal number and relaunch the campaign. Unfortuantely, by lowering the goal, the price is driven up. Not a lot, but it isn't anything we're in control of. As before, we're not making any profit on these shirts. We're just trying to give our wonderful, talented, family of writer/particpants an opportunity to own a shirt that shows off something really neat. Something we're proud of. We're writers. :-)   Everything is handled through the company that prints the shirts. You choose style and color from available options, they take your information, and the payment doesn't go through unless we meet a minimum number of sales. If they print the shirts, they also ship directly to the buyers. If you'd like to pre-order one, or just see what's avaialble, click HERE!   If you preordered in the last drive, we're sorry, but you'll have to go through the process again.


Have a great week, all!

46 comments:

  1. Love the advice to work the mind rather than the metal. Great snippet, very real.

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  2. Oh, I love this mentor/student relationship! Much wisdom there, if only he'll follow it. Great snippet as always!

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  3. Wise words, and as always I love your attention to detail and description. Awesome, Teresa!

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  4. Another evocative snippet. That last paragraph is intense.

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  5. Hmmm... a warrior/mentor suggesting thought over force. Nice.

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  6. You nailed the relationship so well. No one else can speak to him in that manner and what wisdom! The tongue is mightier than the sword.Sometimes.

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  7. "Hot wind swayed trees and shook brittle shrubs, drying the sweat on his forehead before it could trickle down his cheeks." Wow! I love that description. Very poetic. So visual.

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  8. I love their little relationship! The dialogue is fun and witty.

    One small suggestion. The tag for Abraxum's line ("The old guard’s tone remained flat when he said,") feels too lengthy to me. It puts too long a "breath" if you would between the two individual bits of dialogue and kind of slows down the back and forth. It might be better to leave out entirely. Just a small suggestion.

    Great as always! I hope you're having an excellent week! :-)

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  9. Oh boy, a new story : ). Love it, and looking forward to getting to know these two!

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    1. :-) I have to see this one through, Millie! :-)

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  10. You paint such a picture with your words. So descriptive. Nicely done!

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  11. There's a lot of wisdom there. Hopefully the warrior will listen before something bad happens. Great snippet, Teresa! Looking forward to more!

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  12. Makes me think of, "Use the force, Luke!" It's a classic relationship. Great use of this trope.

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    1. Ha! I am a Star Wars fan ;-) Thanks, Patricia! :-)

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  13. I love the setting details combined with the ominous dialogue. Why do I get the feeling Cuylrh is going to ignore the advice at his peril?

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  14. I'm surprised Cuylrh accepted Abraxum's advice. Most people in that position would think that's nonsense. I love these names you given your characters. Great snippet! I fixed the comment problem on my site BTW.

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  15. Is this new? I like it!

    The descriptions drew me in and the tension here is really, effective. Very nice, Teresa! :)

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  16. The advice is good, so I hope he does take it. One needs to be able to work with wits alone, because blades do fail from time to time. Great ambiance in this 8.

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  17. Good advice. I love these characters.

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  18. There was hot wind in Wyoming today. I liked your discription of sweat drying.

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  19. I love Abraxum's words of wisdom, and his name. It makes me think of Abraxus, the half-good, half-evil deity I first learnt about in Hermann Hesse's Demian.

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    1. I'm glad you like the name. Later in the book, his brother, "Thorandar" is introduced. :-) Thanks for visiting!

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  20. I like the relationship between your MC and the guard. He sounds like a wise man.

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    1. He is. I'm glad that's coming through. :-)

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