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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Weekend Writing Warriors: February 1, 2015



Welcome Warriors. Happy February! If you'd like to know about the Weekend Writing Warriors teeshirts,  please see note at the end.
        Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 

          Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE   
 
This is Chapter 2 from my WIP, ATNS, called "The Hunter"  where we're introduced to the male main character, Cuylrh (rhymes with Tyler).
  
"Cuylrh ran a sharpening stone over his sword, sending sparks flying where stone screeched across metal. It was an off-key insult to the ears of most, but music to his own. Without effort, he hefted the blade to examine its edge. Satisfied, he returned the stone to the pouch at his side. Then he wiped dust off of the blue stone of Rialt set in the pommel--his grandfather's stone, and now his, telling all who gazed upon it he was in direct line to the throne. 
Hot wind swayed trees and rattled brittle shrubs, drying the sweat on his forehead before it could trickle down his cheeks.  Facing his guards, he scanned their swords, then nodded approvingly. “A well-kept blade will keep a man alive, be it used in defense or for putting food on a  table.

 That's it. What works. What doesn't? I'm grateful for every comment you leave. :-)

Last call for weekend writing warriors teeshirts. (The drive ends at midnight tonight). There are several styles and colors available. We held down the price--no profit for wewriwa.  Everything is handled through the company that prints the shirts. You choose style and color from available options, they take your information, and the payment doesn't go through unless we meet a minimum number of sales. If they print the shirts, they also ship directly to the buyers. If you'd like to pre-order one, or just see what's avaialble, click HERE!  That's it. 


Have a great week, all!

58 comments:

  1. Great audible description, yes, you made it hearing-enabled! ;) I love this line "It was an off-key insult to the ears of most, but music to his own." My only comment was that in your snippet he returns the stone to the pouch and then in the next line he's wiping the dust from it. I'm either confused and not seeing it right, but maybe he should be wiping the stone before putting it in the pouch? Terrific snippet, really shows his pride and a lot about the man he is.

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    1. Fantastic comment, Chelle! It's actually two different stones. A sharpening stone, and blue stone in the pommel of the sword. Your comment gives me pause. Thank you.

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  2. I liked it! Good description and what he said to his guard was some good advice!

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  3. Wonderful imagery! "The Cuylrh ran a sharpening stone over his sword, sending sparks flying where stone screeched across metal." Definitely cringed. :)

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    1. Heehee. Me too, when I imagined it. :-) Thanks, Karen!

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  4. Living in the west, I understand the hot wind line. It makes me picture the landscape.

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    1. There's a similar scene in the second book, where the MC is dreaming of this happening. And she questions where she is and thinks she might be out west in the high plains.

      Thanks for visiting :-)

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  5. I can see him so clearly! Wonderful word choices and great imagery!

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  6. I like the movement of the sword, and it's interesting how you've named him Cuylhr.

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    1. Thanks, Frank! The name is still a bit worrisome. I just read an article about names of fictional characters, and if the readers can't pronounce it, it's a turn-off. ~sigh~ And I like it a lot...

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  7. I like the history of the pommel stone--you always offer great backstory details, Teresa. :)

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    1. I am so glad you like it, Sarah. There's that rule about not introducing back-story early in the book. I think I prolly break all of the rules. :-) Thank you!

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  8. great job with details in this this snippet Teresa

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  9. What a great introduction to this character! I love the way you weave sensory details with sprinkles of information, so deftly handled. Nice work.

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    1. I'm feeling pretty encouraged right now. Thank you,. Alexis. :-)

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  10. I liked it - the snippet gave me the feeling of the larger story and the details were excellent as always! Great 8! (I ordered my T shirt, can't wait.)

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    1. Thanks, Veronica! We had a setback with the teeshirts. trying again. They went up about a dollar each, I think. :-(

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  11. He can sharpen my knives any time. What a man. Teresa you''ve fashioned your hero from the stone inherited from his family. This introduction is rich with bits of background, just enough to paint his picture..

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  12. At first glance I read it as the main villain, but he doesn't sound very villainous to me, then again, what is a man willing to do to gain and keep power?

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    1. He's not villainous at all. His worst flaw is that he might be a bit arrogant. I had to add that because in my first draft, he was a bit of a Gary Stu.


      Thanks for visiting, Rafael. :-)

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  13. Is he reminding them, or himself? Great snippet, Teresa. :)

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    1. Wonderful pick up, Siobhan. Thanks for visiting!

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  14. I found your seven lines very powerful. I felt his power, his respect, his self-assurance without you once saying it.

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    1. Woot! Thanks, Tanya! :-) Showing has been such a challenge for me.

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  15. You've captured so much character with the simple act of caring for his sword. Well thought out details and a wonderfully crafted connection to the larger story. Really lovely writing! :D

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  16. Sharp writing! Enhances the sword theme. The "family stone" is quite effective and tells the reader a lot about the time and culture. Great, nuanced world-building.

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  17. Great introduction of the character in a vivid scene that emphasizes who he is very well. Well done!

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  18. All I can say is, dang, but you can write.

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    1. ~blushing~ High praise, Elaine. Thank you!

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  19. The seeds of a great story sprout from your keyboard.
    (Or do you use a BIC pen and a yellow legal pad?)

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    1. Thanks, Chip. :-) No legal pad. I am guilty of a lot of little notes on torn pieces of paper and backs of envelopes. I always have them in my purse. :-)

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  20. Oh I love "It was an off-key insult to the ears of most, but music to his own." Such a telling detail -- nicely done!

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  21. Wonderful description! I love the sounds & the tactile senses you've incirporated. Great job!

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  22. I love men skilled with a sword. Your description of how he cares for the blade shows how much he prizes it. Excellent 8. I saw Chelle's comment. To make the two stones distinct, you could add the word "sharpening" to the stone again: "he returned the sharpening stone to the pouch." Just a suggestion. :)

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    1. Such an easy fix--still, I was blind to it until you suggested it. Thanks, Jenna!

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  23. Oh Teresa, you describe so well! I've been drawn into this world with your words. Can't wait to read more!

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    1. Thanks for the encouraging words, Elyzabeth. The closer I get to publication, the more terrified I get of producing a lousy book. It's humbling, how crippling fear can be...

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  24. Great visual. And the way he tends to his weapon gives reader insight to his personality. Love this snippet!

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  25. Excellent description of the sound of rock on metal. It had me cringing and I can't even hear it.

    Do they use swords for hunting? Or is there another way a sword can put food on the table?

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    1. Thanks Kate. yep, they are using swords for hunting,. They use them for everything. It seems crude and crazy at the beginning, but the reader learns early in the book that they eschew technology for political reasons.

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  26. Love that final statement! Yes a knife can be used for a lot of things, but that just made him sound so manly!!!! Amazing visual. I ordered my shirt!!! I can't wait to get it, if I don't look hideous, I'll post a picture wearing it. I think I went with the purple. I forget. :)

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    1. Thanks, Neva! The purple is nice! I ordered one too. A new drive launched. Maybe it'll go through this time.

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  27. You were great with description. I could hear, see, smell, and feel everything the character was going through. Great job! And, people better watch out if the sword's coming out :)

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  28. He's so right about the many purposes of a good blade. I also love how the sharpening stone sounds like music to him. It says a lot about his character.

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