Weekend Writing Warrior: September 20, 2015

Hello, Warriors! :-) I don't know about where you guys are, but it feels like fall here tonight.

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

              This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The protagonists have just defended against a second onslaught by the predators. Kuylrh is alert now, and Rissa is doctoring him. Last week's snippet ended with this sentence: "At least semi-darkness and absolute fatigue cloaked the moment."       

Creative punctuation alert. 

We continue from there :

            “She pressed against him while she worked the fabric--which turned out to be a scarf, around his back. He leaned his face into her at just about bra level, his warm breath making her acutely aware of how cold she was. Then he jerked, catching his breath, and moaned.

“You’ll be okay.” She finished drawing the fabric around him, then leaned back to even the ends. She watched him purposelessly—and shamelessly give her a survey starting at her neck, down to her breasts, lingering, and on down to her navel. “What a surprise. Knocking on death’s door, and yet…"  She shook her head at him, feigning a scold. "The award for best portrayal of a typical man goes to my golden-eyed friend…”

.

 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: September 13, 2015

Hello, Warriors-- my favorite writers in the whole wide

world--you guys really are. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

              This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The protagonists have just defended against a second onslaught by the predators. Kuylrh is alert now, and Rissa is doctoring him. There is now a small group gathered where they are, banding together against the man-eaters.Last week's snippet ended with this sentence: "A strange and incredibly ill-timed smirk settled across his lips.       

Creative punctuation alert. 

We continue from there with Rissa speaking:

            “I don’t know what you’re smiling about. Maybe you’ve lost enough blood that your brain’s deprived.” His smirk was contagious. Hysteria teased. She grinned back, barely holding in laughter--the  kind that's so inappropriate and then becomes unstoppable. Just the weirdness of the situation, how it felt like she was trapped in a horror film or, God... she couldn’t make it right in her mind. Unbelievable. Sitting there, in her bra, among strangers and wild animals bent on eating them all, and in what building? Field dressing a big guy that—she wasn’t sure, but suspected she could've seen in the pages of National Geographic illustrating ancient warfare. At least semi-darkness and absolute fatigue cloaked the moment.

 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: September 6, 2015

Hello, Warriors-- my favorite writers in the whole wide world. :-)  It's time for the Warriors to gather  again. :-) I've been off for a few. Had some family things going on. But I'm back--and glad for it. I missed you guys!      

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

              This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The protagonists have just defended against a second onslaught by the predators. Kuylrh is alert now, and Rissa is doctoring him. There is now a small group gathered where they are, banding together against the man-eaters.

We continue from there:

His hand pressed against his chest and blood seeped between his fingers. She swallowed the lump in her throat and willed herself to be calm. “God, don’t you dare die on me. Together, we might make it out of here alive.”  She took off her shirt, and balled it up with the cleanest side out. Then she pressed it against his wound while she looked for something to hold it in place.

           There was a blue cloth wrapped around his neck; she gave it a gentle pull. A strange and incredibly ill-timed smirk settled across his lips.       
 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)