Weekend Writing
Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of
their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday,
and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment,
critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart
good.
Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
This
is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The protagonists have just defended against a second onslaught by the predators. Kuylrh is alert now, and Rissa is doctoring him. There is now a small group gathered where they are, banding together against the man-eaters.Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
We continue from there:
His
hand pressed against his chest and blood seeped between his fingers. She
swallowed the lump in her throat and willed herself to be calm. “God, don’t you
dare die on me. Together, we might make it out of here alive.” She took off her shirt, and balled it up with
the cleanest side out. Then she pressed it against his wound while she looked for
something to hold it in place.
There was a blue cloth wrapped around his neck;
she gave it a gentle pull. A strange and incredibly ill-timed smirk settled
across his lips.
That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)
How deliciously sly that last paragraph! I can't wait to find out what it means.
ReplyDelete:-) I am so danged happy that the last paragraph caught your curiosity! It's integral to the story. But it takes a while to reveal the cultural meaning behind tugging on that scarf. Thanks for visiting, Kim.
DeleteVery visual, and then that last line, why is he smirking!
ReplyDeleteWhew! Happy writer here. I'm so glad you're intrigued by his smirk. It's chapters away that she learns what it means. Thanks for visiting, Gemma.
DeleteThat last sentence is slightly evil. :-) This is no time to be smirking! Or is it?
ReplyDeleteHaha! Nothing evil about it, but it's a HUGE cultural thing with his people.
DeleteThanks for visiting, Christina. :-)
I'm wondering about the meaning of the blue cloth.
ReplyDeleteMen! They get themselves in trouble, and women have to patch them up.
Yep, men--living dangerously and then... :-) They all want their moms, I think. And when mom is nowhere to be found...
DeleteThanks for visiting, Cara!
Oh dear, what has she done? Try to help the guy and he turns it into something else! What a cliff-hanger! How long before she finds out what that blue cloth means? How will that come out? Lots to keep readers reading :-)
ReplyDeleteThe blue cloth saves his life yet here comes the big BUT. It seems to me in the earliest chapters the blue cloth was mentioned.
ReplyDeleteWe missed you. I do hope all is well with the precious family.
Welcome back. And right into the thick of things! Hope we find about that blue cloth soon.
ReplyDeleteHe's bleeding badly and he smirks? He's a tough guy!
ReplyDeleteUh oh, beware the ill-timed smirk! Enjoyed the snippet...
ReplyDeleteHi there! You were missed. Love his smirk at the end...perhaps he's not exactly devastated that she had to pull off her shirt to tend his wound? LOL
ReplyDeleteLove the smirk. It makes the whole scene come alive.
ReplyDeleteThe smirk is great. This is one tough guy.
ReplyDeletemaybe she just promised herself to him???? of course I am sure he likes what he sees since she took her top off to help him. an amusing scene
ReplyDeleteYikes, this isn't looking good!
ReplyDeleteI like how you can tell that blue cloth is significant, just with a few words, even if you don't know why.
Enjoyed the snippet and her frantic need to save him, but then there was the smirk. lol Why oh why is he smirking? I must know.
ReplyDeleteWhat an intriguing tearjerker! I was like edge, but that smirk made me wonder. Very nice! Love it!
ReplyDeleteThe smirk is intriguing! I want more.
ReplyDeleteThe smirk is neat, if it's a lung wound (upper chest) won't he have difficulty breathing? Maybe a bit blue himself.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking that the smirk isn't ill-timed, from his perspective, and that sooner or later, Rissa is going to realize that blue cloths have far-reaching consequences to some folks....
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back, and I hope that all is well in your world.
That is an odd time to give a smirk! Maybe he's just really disoriented and confused.
ReplyDeleteintriguing. I also love her determination with the dialogue don't you dare die on me. that always gets me tense in movies because you want to hope with the characters. now I need to know the meaning of the scarf. maybe she just pledged herself to him?
ReplyDelete