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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Weekend Writing Warriors: September 6, 2015

Hello, Warriors-- my favorite writers in the whole wide world. :-)  It's time for the Warriors to gather  again. :-) I've been off for a few. Had some family things going on. But I'm back--and glad for it. I missed you guys!      


Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
              This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The protagonists have just defended against a second onslaught by the predators. Kuylrh is alert now, and Rissa is doctoring him. There is now a small group gathered where they are, banding together against the man-eaters.

We continue from there:
His hand pressed against his chest and blood seeped between his fingers. She swallowed the lump in her throat and willed herself to be calm. “God, don’t you dare die on me. Together, we might make it out of here alive.”  She took off her shirt, and balled it up with the cleanest side out. Then she pressed it against his wound while she looked for something to hold it in place.
           There was a blue cloth wrapped around his neck; she gave it a gentle pull. A strange and incredibly ill-timed smirk settled across his lips.       
 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

25 comments:

  1. How deliciously sly that last paragraph! I can't wait to find out what it means.

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    1. :-) I am so danged happy that the last paragraph caught your curiosity! It's integral to the story. But it takes a while to reveal the cultural meaning behind tugging on that scarf. Thanks for visiting, Kim.

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  2. Very visual, and then that last line, why is he smirking!

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    1. Whew! Happy writer here. I'm so glad you're intrigued by his smirk. It's chapters away that she learns what it means. Thanks for visiting, Gemma.

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  3. That last sentence is slightly evil. :-) This is no time to be smirking! Or is it?

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    1. Haha! Nothing evil about it, but it's a HUGE cultural thing with his people.

      Thanks for visiting, Christina. :-)

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  4. I'm wondering about the meaning of the blue cloth.

    Men! They get themselves in trouble, and women have to patch them up.

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    1. Yep, men--living dangerously and then... :-) They all want their moms, I think. And when mom is nowhere to be found...

      Thanks for visiting, Cara!

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  5. Oh dear, what has she done? Try to help the guy and he turns it into something else! What a cliff-hanger! How long before she finds out what that blue cloth means? How will that come out? Lots to keep readers reading :-)

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  6. The blue cloth saves his life yet here comes the big BUT. It seems to me in the earliest chapters the blue cloth was mentioned.
    We missed you. I do hope all is well with the precious family.

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  7. Welcome back. And right into the thick of things! Hope we find about that blue cloth soon.

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  8. He's bleeding badly and he smirks? He's a tough guy!

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  9. Uh oh, beware the ill-timed smirk! Enjoyed the snippet...

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  10. Hi there! You were missed. Love his smirk at the end...perhaps he's not exactly devastated that she had to pull off her shirt to tend his wound? LOL

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  11. Love the smirk. It makes the whole scene come alive.

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  12. The smirk is great. This is one tough guy.

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  13. maybe she just promised herself to him???? of course I am sure he likes what he sees since she took her top off to help him. an amusing scene

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  14. Yikes, this isn't looking good!

    I like how you can tell that blue cloth is significant, just with a few words, even if you don't know why.

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  15. Enjoyed the snippet and her frantic need to save him, but then there was the smirk. lol Why oh why is he smirking? I must know.

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  16. What an intriguing tearjerker! I was like edge, but that smirk made me wonder. Very nice! Love it!

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  17. The smirk is intriguing! I want more.

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  18. The smirk is neat, if it's a lung wound (upper chest) won't he have difficulty breathing? Maybe a bit blue himself.

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  19. I'm thinking that the smirk isn't ill-timed, from his perspective, and that sooner or later, Rissa is going to realize that blue cloths have far-reaching consequences to some folks....

    Glad you're back, and I hope that all is well in your world.

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  20. That is an odd time to give a smirk! Maybe he's just really disoriented and confused.

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  21. intriguing. I also love her determination with the dialogue don't you dare die on me. that always gets me tense in movies because you want to hope with the characters. now I need to know the meaning of the scarf. maybe she just pledged herself to him?

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