Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors March 27, 2016

Hello all my fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!. :-)
 
Happy Easter --if you celebrate. And a belated Happy Purim--if you celebrate it. To all others, happy Sunday--it's  almost April!  :-)



Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

Setup:  Earth has been invaded by aliens. Our MC, Lily fled on foot, pursued by aliens after lobbing a grenade at them --leading them away from a bunker where a dozen children and two old women are hiding. She's been joined by her dog, Jobe (nickname Jobo). After reaching what's left of her house and then hiding inside, they've been captured by the aliens. The alien commander has just informed her what her and Job's status is.
"
He pointed at Jobe and said, “Food,” then he pointed at her and added, “Entertainment.” "
We pick up from there:
Screw that. With nothing to lose, she turned to run with Jobe, but a fist to her stomach knocked the wind out of her. On the ground, helpless, she watched one of the aliens grab Jobe and drag  him away. Her poor dog was no match for the creature's size and might, but that didn’t stop him from growling and snapping anyway.
It seemed an eternity before she sucked in air. She’d barely taken a full breath before another alien yanked  her to her feet. A shove to her back sent her stumbling after the rest. She didn’t know where they were taking her, but was sure that no matter where it was, in the end it would turn out to be hell.
    

That's the end of chapter 1.


Thank you for reading it. I learn from your comments--and I'm so grateful for any insight you share. Have a great week!

40 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I'm amazed at the uncompromising opinions when a dog is part of the story. :-) Thanks, Ed! :-)

      Delete
  2. I love how she is still fighting back. But, ack! I need more of this story. Great snippet, as always. I'm well invested in this story. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so glad to read your words, Jessica! Thank you!

      Delete
  3. Good snippet! I am worried for both of them. You created a scene these last few weeks where every second they're close to being killed. The tension is building!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Excellent snippet, Teresa. I hope she gets her break soon, if I sit any closer to the edge of my seat I will fall off!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't fall. :-) Thank you so much, Kim!~!

      Delete
  5. No, no, not the dog!!! Waaaaa.

    I love seeing this story progress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jobo has a warrior with him. :-) Thanks, Cara!

      Delete
  6. Gah! Not Jobe! :S Great end to the chapter, however. I loved reading it and can't wait to find out more!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nothing like a dog in jeopardy to really get readers worried! Another great snippet with a very effective ending. Hope chapter 2 is coming soon!

    ReplyDelete
  8. And still the suspense goes on. I hope Jobe gives his capturers a big bite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You never know, Rachel. ;-) Thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  9. Aliens or not, you've created a story that reads reality and you've caught this reader.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ouch! Poor Jobo! Actually, poor Lily, too - I tend to agree that unless things change dramatically she's in for a very bad time. Good snippet - more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Squee! Thanks, Peter. Your comment made me smile! :-)

      Delete
  11. ACK! What a FABULOUS cliffhanger ending for your chapter. No way anyone will put the book down without saying, "Just one more chapter"! Poor Jobe! And I reeled for her when she got the wind knocked out of her. Alien jerkwads. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Rose! :-) I am so happy to read your comment about not putting the book down. :-)

      Delete
  12. Sounds awful! Nothing good about these aliens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope. These ones are truly bad. Thanks for visiting, Aurora. :-)

      Delete
  13. Sounds odd, but I can't help thinking that the previous snippet would make a stronger chapter end, with this leading into the next - digging even deeper into doo-doo and the realization that the cliffhanger isn't going to get resolved any time soon :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm mulling it over, Ian, not sure where to end the chapter. :-) lol Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  14. Save the dog, save the dog!!! It's hard to read about Jobo being hauled off then you don't mention him again, but it makes perfect sense to do that. It adds to the whole feeling of fear and helplessness. Lots of tension that makes it hard to stop reading.

    I agree with Ian - this excerpt would make a great chapter beginning.

    Happy Easter to you and yours!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Marcia! Still mulling over where the chapter ends. :-)

      I hope you had a good Easter. :-)

      Delete
  15. Ugh, this just gets worse and worse, but in a good, page-turning way. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your encouraging words, Christina!

      Delete
  16. NOOOOOO! You can't leave us hanging like this! Tense and powerful, leaving me desperate to find out what happens next!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But, it's the end of the chapter, Tina. lol. Thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  17. I hate it when the best laid plans get laid to waste before they can ever be implemented...fun snippet.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Awesome snippet! I wonder what they mean by entertainment. I'm dying to find out more! Very intense! Love it, love it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can bet it won't be good. :-) Thanks, Neva!

      Delete
  19. It's difficult to do much of anything when you can't breathe... but I still hope she manages to save the dog and get away!

    ReplyDelete
  20. YOU are very cruel to leave us at this place. I hope both the dog and the gal are saved. Really keeps us clinging on.

    ReplyDelete