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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors March 6, 2016


Hello all. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE



Setup:  Earth has been invaded by aliens. Our MC, Lily is on foot and being pursued by them after lobbing a grenade at them then running--leading them away from a bunker where a dozen children and two old women are hiding. She's been joined by her dog, Jobe (nickname Jobo),they've reached what's left of her house,  and worked their way into a hiding space. They can hear the aliens sniffing outside their hiding spot. Jobe just growled. The last line was: 
"She tried to signal him to be silent, but it was too late."
We pick up from there:



She’d barely poked her head through the opening in the wall when a ruckus set her heart pounding.  There was no time to react. Something  grabbed her hair and dragged her out of the cubbyhole. Anger overrode her fear. “Let go of me!”  Jobe yelped behind her.
Bright light shining in her eyes all but blinded her, and pain took away any kind of reason. Unnerving laughter broke out all around, deep, throaty chortles punctuated with teeth clicking. The light flickered across her captor's face, enough that she could see it was the blue-black alien who was holding her off the ground by her hair. All that was left was for him to gut her like a rabbit and toss her aside.


    

That's it. Yep. It just got really bad. And poor Jobe. It looks very bad for him...

Thank you for reading it. I learn from your feedback--and I'm so grateful for any insight you share. Have a great week!

70 comments:

  1. Oh dear! Not good at all! Excellent tension and cliffhanger, Teresa. What will they do with her?

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    1. Bad things ahead. Then again, it makes for the story that is ahead. :-) Thanks for visiting, Kim!

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  2. So...unless this is a really short story, and a tragedy, something unexpected is going to happen. I betting on the dog.

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    1. No short story, Ed. Stick around, I'll at least finish posting the first chapter. :-) Thanks for visiting.

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  3. Oh wow ... and you stop here? Nice cliffhanger!

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  4. Oh no! And I was hoping she was safe. I need more!!

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    1. Not safe again for a long time...maybe never. :-) Thanks, Jessica!

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  5. Yikes! Definitely not a moment I'd want to be in myself. Great snippet, and love the cliffhanger ending.

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  6. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN! Gritty, in-your-face details that suck you right into the horror of the moment! This is awesome, Teresa!

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    1. Woohoo! Glad they hit you that way, Steven. Thanks :-)

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  7. Oh this can't bode well for her. I hope she can escape from the alien and alert everyone of his presence.

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    1. Bad times ahead. Or there'd be no story :-) Thanks, Frank!!

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  8. Perfect. You got me from the first words and never let go. Exciting and frightening.

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    1. Thank you, Charmaine! That was my goal!

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  9. Holy crap! Great writing. I'm scared for them, and to do that in only 10 sentences! Nice job Teresa. I'm hanging over the edge of that cliff until next week.

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  10. Great job of creating a gripping, exciting moment. I don't think he'll really gut her (unless it's short story like Ed said), but the future looks pretty grim.

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    1. It's not a short, Alexis. :-) The future my be as grim as it appears... :-)

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  11. This is very nerve-wracking in an exciting sort of way. I hope she gets away, though I'm seriously worried about the dog.

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    1. :-) It is! The bad turn is where the real story begins. :-) Thanks, Christina!

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  12. Oh, I can't wait to see how she gets out of this! Forgive me if you've already said, but is this published yet?

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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    1. Thanks, Joyce! The whole book is how she gets out of what is about to happen. Not published yet. :-) Thanks for visiting!

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  13. Yeah, this seems very not good for your character. Great, intense snippet

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  14. This is so good. I really want to read the book.

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  15. Oh no! I didn't think anybody would actually grab her! I hope her and the dog both get saved somehow! What are those aliens doing prowling around after dark, anyway? And we have to wait a week to find out more, darn it.

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    1. Sort of...but not how she wants to be saved... It's complicated. :-) Thanks, Marcia!

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  16. Oh dear, looks like they are both in trouble! Perhaps the dog will come to her rescue. Great writing.

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    1. Poor Jobo is in as much trouble as she is. :-) Thanks for visiting, Rachel!

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  17. "I don't care who dies as long as the dog survives."

    Great tension and cliffhanger and next week is too far away.

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    1. Haha! That has been your mantra. Too funny. The next few weeks will be trying for you. :-) Thanks!

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  18. Oh, geez! You had me at the clicking teeth!

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    1. I am so glad to read that that detail grabbed you! :-) Thanks, Nancy!

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  19. No, no, don't hurt Jobe. Great imagery. The clicking teeth was chilling, too.

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    1. :-) Whew, writers can torture their human characters all they want, but introduce a dog into the story, and look out! :-) lol Thanks, Karen!

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  20. Things are looking good. I'm thinking a gutting and a flinging away is better than being eaten. Great snippet. :)

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    1. The thought will cross her mind about being eaten. :-) Thanks, Jennifer. :-)

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  21. ouuuccchhhh! All I could think of was being dragged out and then held off the ground by the hair. I hope she doesn't lose her scalp! Another nail biter...great job!

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    1. Yeah...I don't want her scalp separating from her skull. Maybe I should back that down some?? Good point, Rose. Thanks!

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  22. OH DEAR! This is a really great scene, heart pounding terror...can't wait to see what happens next. Great excerpt. This will be some terrific scifi when it's done!

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    1. Gosh, I hope so. Thanks, Veronica! :-)

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  23. That's enough to curl my toes in terror. Great snippet, Teresa. :)

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    1. I'm so happy to be writing a toe-curler. ;-) Thanks, Siobhan.

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  24. Scary! Although would an alien laugh?

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    1. Some might. Some might not. ;-) I suspect that higher life forms are capable of a broad range of emotive sounds. :-) Thanks, Aurora!

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  25. The clicking teeth made me shiver. What a great detail.

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  26. OMG I worried about her and Jobe all last week and now I'll have to worry next week too.
    Great snippet and suspense.

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    1. :-) Your comment just put the biggest smile on my face! Thanks, Bonnie :-)

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  27. Her only hope it that they need a live specimen. Fingers crossed she escapes somehow!

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  28. Yikes! You've got an intense scene here & the build-up to it is very effective.

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  29. No. No. No leaving us there!!! What happens???
    Tweeted.

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    1. :-) And...we're almost halfway to next week already. :-) I brushed up on how to set hooks. Now I wonder if, as read as a whole, there are too many hooks? Thanks, Daryl!

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  30. I have to wait all week?!?!?! to find out the dog's ok?!?!?! Arghhhhh
    Tweeted.

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    1. Haha! I can do anything to humans or aliens, but don't hurt the dog! We are dog lovers through and through. Thanks,Victoria.

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  31. Those aliens sure aren't friendly.

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  32. Boy, you know how to use a cliff-hanger, don't you, Teresa! I wasn't sure why she stuck her neck out--literally--but it doesn't look good for either her or Jobe. Great action packed snippet!

    And thank you so much for recommending my books to your friend! Sorry I didn't get by to thank you last week, but I appreciate that so much!

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    1. Thanks, Jenna! And you;re welcome for the referral. I like your writing--and it's her favorite genre. :-)

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  33. Oh... not good! Great cliffhanger and can't wait for next week to find out what happens!

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    1. It's not good at all, Emmy. Continued next week. :-) Thanks!

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  34. Gah! Not good! Not good at all! Fantastic scene with a lot of tension and action though. Loved it!

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    1. Thanks, Amy! It isn't good at all. :-)

      BTW, I love your book--Crimson Sky. Outstanding!

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  35. *Shivers* Eep! I would not want to be dragged out by one of those things. Scary image, especially to be thinking she's going to be gutted like a rabbit. Great scene!

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