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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors February 28, 2016

Hello all. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE



Setup:  After an explosion, and a wall collapsed on her comrades, the MC is the last survivor in a group protecting a hidden bunker full of children and two old women. In desperation she lobs a grenade at the advancing enemy (aliens), then runs, leading them away from the bunker. They are in pursuit.  She's been joined by her dog, Jobe (nickname Jobo),they've reached her house,  and worked their way into a hiding space. They can hear the aliens sniffing outside their hiding spot. The last line was:  Jobe’s ears pricked up and he cocked his head, but she immediately gave him the signal for silence.

We pick up from there:




Night fell; she knew from the lack of light peeking through cracks in the false wall. And then she heard them start to sing. It wasn’t a big group, not many individual voices keening in the dark, but it was a good sign that they were done for the night. 
The last six weeks--since the alien invasion started, had been telling for the invaders' behavior patterns. Hunt through the day, sing just after sundown, and then settle for the night. Any time after sunrise was a sure bet they were up and on the hunt again, though. So she felt relatively safe when she slid the wall aside and started to crawl out. 
Jobe growled. It was deep in his throat, a low rumble. She tried to signal him to be silent, but it was too late.

    

That's it. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Yep. It's about to get really bad... 


Thank you for reading it. I learn from your feedback--and I'm so grateful for any insight you share. Have a great week!

70 comments:

  1. Jobo must be trying to tell her something. Dogs have such a sixth sense.

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    1. They do--a great 6th sense! Thanks, Carrie-Anne!

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  2. LOL! Never apologize for a cliffhanger :) This would be a great place to end a chapter, something bad is about to happen.

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    1. You are absolutely right about the chapter ending, Ian! I'm giving it some thought. :-)Thank you!

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  3. Excellent cliff hanger, Teresa. I hope it's not a hostile!

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    1. I will continue frm this spot next week, Kim. Hostilities to spare... Thank you!

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  4. I guess this goes to prove that canine's reactions to threats didn't evolve in response to alien invasions. Growling isn't going to help.

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    1. No, it sure isn't. Her or the dog. Things are about to go seriously south. Thanks, Ed!

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  5. Oh no, someone or something is out there. I'm hoping it's someone on her side.

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    1. When all is gone, there should still be hope...but hope is no guarantee. :-)

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  6. Though why is Jobo growling? Hmm... guess I'll have to wait and find out next week.

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    1. Picking up where I left off. :-) Thanks, Karen. :-)

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  7. Oh no, I hope that she AND Jobo get past whatever is out there!

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    1. :-( Says to self... WIll not issue spoilers.

      Thanks, Chelle!

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  8. Ack! You can't leave us there! Such great tension, Teresa.

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    1. Thanks, Monica! I am so glad you're feeling it. :-)

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  9. Great setup through the snippet. Definitely something that garners my interest. Is this a published work that's available, or a WIP?

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    1. Not published yet, T.M. A WIP. Still writing it. I know where the story goes, just working the middle. :-) I hope to have it out by the end of summer. :-) Thanks!

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  10. This is great. You really have me on the edge of my seat. I'd buy this book.

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    1. Oh wow--that just made my day, Cara! Thank you so, so much! :-)

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  11. Oh, I thought it was a close call at first, but it was never really safe for them. Yikes! Looking forward (as always) to more! :)

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    1. Nope, not safe... :-)

      Thanks so much for your encouraging words, Jessica!

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  12. No need to apologize for the cliffhanger ending. It's always good when a snippet ends with one. There's no getting Jobe to stay quiet now.

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  13. I don't know which was worse - the cliff hangar or you telling us it's about to get worse.
    Tweeted.

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    1. lol--Maybe I should keep it to myself. Just wanted everyone to be prepared. lol Thanks, Victoria!

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  14. Gah! What happens next, darn you!!! ;D Terrific stuff, Teresa, as ever!

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    1. lol! I'll take than "darn you" as a compliment! Thanks, Steven!

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  15. The idea of alien invaders singing sounds pretty bad, but not as bad as what's about to happen, it sounds like!

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  16. Uh-oh, trouble ahead! You have set the scene perfectly.

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  17. Love it Teresa! You have me drooling for more!

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    1. Thanks, Millie!! :-) More coming up on Sunday. :-)

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  18. Do you ever wonder where your stories come from? This one is a doozy, Teresa. Scary as hell yet wonderful.

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    1. I do, Charmaine. I wonder about it all the time. Do you wonder where yous come from?

      Thnaks--I am so excited to have written something "scary as hell" :-)

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  19. I'm sorry Teresa, but you don't get to stop there. Nope. Sitting right here and sulking until you tell us what happened.

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    1. lolol! Oh, ALexis, you made me chuckle! Nice!

      And when are you getting back to your scifi story?

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  20. Wow, the singing surprised me, and I love that incongruous aspect of the aliens. It kind of lulled me into relaxing, then I got to the end. ACK! Next Sunday can't get here fast enough!

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

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    1. Thanks so very much, Joyce! Picking up right where I left off. :-)

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  21. OOoff! That was great, though, Teresa. Now I'm gonna worry about her and Jobe all week. I thought she had this - her observations about the aliens were so specific. Yeah, and the singing after work. Very nice detail.

    Personally, I loved it.

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    1. Thanks, Paula! Oh how we torture our characters for the sake of art. lol :-)

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  22. Uh oh. I liked that she knew the aliens' patterns of behavior but of course it's dangerous to rely too heavily on that. Cant wait to find out what's going to happen, even if you are warning us it'll be bad (ulp!). Great snippet.

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    1. Thanks, Veronica! I think I'll finish out the first chapter and then have to move to excerpting random parts. :-)

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  23. Can't add anything more, this is a great excerpt! It reads like this whole section came pretty easily for you. But now what?? I'm sure there's no new car behind that wall!

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    1. Haha! No new car... Thanks, Marcia. The first chapters came so easy. Now I'm about halfway through. The characters are arguing among themselves. Big babies. I guess I'll have to step in and suggest what they should do next. ;-) Thanks!

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  24. It is scary when your dog growls like that - what is out there?

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  25. Danger, Will Robinson, danger! Great snippet, Teresa. :)

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    1. Danger, Will Robinson, indeed!

      I used to watch that show when I was a little kid, lol. You're just a baby--maybe you saw it on TV Land?

      Thanks, Siobhan!

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  26. Yikes! What a tease! Nice job, Teresa!

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  27. The dog knew that there was danger. She should have been more careful! Can't wait to see what happens next!

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  28. I'm guessing the dog was trying to warn her--settled in for the night doesn't mean no longer on the lookout!

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  29. Uh, oh. That's what I said out loud after the last line. Can't wait for next week!

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    1. lol--Oh my goodness, I am so glad to read that was your reaction! Thank you, Emmy!

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  30. Truly, I can't wait for next week. that dog!!

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    1. Thanks, Elaine. He goes through a rough time!

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  31. Excellent. Excellent! Holy crap I'm scared for them. Intense set up and acne. Can't wait for more.

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    1. I am thrilled at your response! Thanks. :-)

      Now...where are we with the Milk Carton Murders??

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  32. Awesome cliffhanger! The aliens singing would be eerie as hell (to me). Were they lulling her into a false sense of security even though she'd studied their behavior patterns? Looking forward to next week!

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    1. You are perceptive, HK! Yep, and she's about to be played right into their hands. :-) Yikes!

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  33. I liked the moment of reflection that gave us more insight into what's happening, and come on now– we both know you're not really sorry about the cliffhanger part. ;) If I've learned one thing from this group, half the fun is choosing the worst (aka best and most tantalizing) cliffhanger to leave off on. ;)

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    1. Haha! Yeah, I agree that we all do search out good tidbits to post. I think I've only skipped a couple of paras in this first chapter. I'm going to compile them into a blogpost and see if people find problems with it once it's put in a continuous form. I'm glad you think this bit of reflection worked. I was afraid it might slow down the scene. It's pretty much go, go, go from line 1.

      Thanks so much, Amy!

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  34. Oh no. I hope nothing happens to her and her dog. I love the cliffhanger.
    What I want to know is what the aliens were singing and why.

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    1. Oh my, here the story starts, Bonnie. An abduction.

      It's just their habit, to keen at sundown. Unity, I guess. Celebrating the end of another day of successful hunting. To send a message to predators that they are a group, not a vulnerable loner. :-)

      I had to smile while I answered this. I'm with the MC--I don't really know why they do it, but it's unnerving. :-)

      Thanks for visiting--and inspiring a bit of introspection.

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  35. No, cliffhangers are good, it makes people come back.
    There seem to be a lot going on. So are the Aliens hunting and being hunted at the same time?
    That singing is a little scary, it sort of put me on edge.

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    1. Thanks, Linda! The singing is unnerving. They are hunting. And the few Earthlings who haven't fled the city--or been caught, are fighting them. :-)

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