Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Six Sentence Sunday January 13, 2013





Six Sentence Sunday is a bloghop--and one of the friendliest. Participants post six sentences of their writing, then readers hop from blog to blog, sharing opinions, critiques and encouragement.  We know what a solitary pursuit writing can be--and Six Sentence Sunday is a great way to meet other writers, and take a break from our solitude. Complete rules and a sign up form are at the site here.




This week, I return to ATNS.  During a celebration of Rissa successfully competing with a sword, Rissa had a scene with Cuylrh and his crew, and fled.  She's been hopping shuttles at space stations, and Cuylrh has been searching for her, quietly putting out the word (quietly so his grandfather doesn't learn that Rissa is undefended).  In this scene, his cousin, Dracorh, came across Rissa playing with refugee children at a station and briefly began to hit on her until he saw Cuylrh's pendant slip out of her shirt.  He contacted Cuylrh and gave him the news, then proceeded to occupy Rissa's time until Cuylrh could arrive at the station.  Rissa figured it out just before Cuylrh and his crew arrived.  She took off running across the shuttle docking area.
~note~ "chade' is a Rialtan word, translated means "bitch".

Next to reach her, Dracorh tackled her, tumbling both of them onto the metal floor.

Underdog or not, it was a full out assault on Rissa’s part as she kicked her feet against his ribs, and bit anything coming close to her teeth. 

More guards arrived and tried to get a grip on an arm or an ankle. She was crazed, scratching, punching, slapping. Her foot connected with one of them, buckling his knee as he fell--cursing in pain, "Crazy chade!"

Limited to defending himself, Dracorh had one arm raised shielding his face while he batted at her hands and feet with the other.

Money passed from hand to hand as a crowd of eager-faced dockworkers gathered to witness how this was going to end.  No one would have wagered in her favor if they’d known that a new player was about to come on the scene.

That's it. Comments and criticisms greatly appreciated.

Anyone hosting a sunday bloghop--to replace SSS? It's getting close...

28 comments:

  1. Oh, that last sentence is ominous. This is a very fluid action scene. You should be very proud of it.

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  2. Oh, I love how tough and feisty she is. But who is the other person to arrive?? Great six! :)

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    1. Thanks, Jessica! :-) Hmm...might be Cuylrh, might be his grandfather. ;-)

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    1. Thanks, Anastasia. :-) I'm glad you thought so. ;-)

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  4. Nicely constructed action scene -- great stuff!

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  5. The betting activity in the background is so true to life.

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    1. Thanks, Sue Ann. It's good to read that it was perceived as a very believable snippet. :-)

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  6. I love her spirit. She's definitely feisty. Loved the action. I'm with Sue Ann. I liked the betting in the background. That was a nice touch.

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    1. Thanks for all your kind words,Cindy! :-)

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  7. Oh - very exciting and intriguing! Love the fight and the betting. Can't wait to see what is going to happen next.

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    1. Thanks, Lorraine. ~sigh~ We are running out of Sundays. :-)

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  8. But...but...she has to win. Ok, she can lose temporarily, but she better win overall. Nicely done. The chaos is evoked well.

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    1. Thanks, Kate! Ha! She does have to win, but she has a lot of losses along the way. :-)

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  9. Hi Teresa, it's great to hear from you. I'm doing ok, thank you. How are you doing? your writing going well?

    Great Six! She's a tough girl, I look forward to learning more of her character.

    I have been distant for some time. The holidays are so difficult for me, and so I revert into my hermit ways. I'm glad to hear from you as your note reminds me of how long I've been gone, dwelling deep in the dark place I go when the hermititus strikes.

    The end of Six Sentence Sundays is a grievous thing as well. I keep telling myself I need to participate in the final few then my days blur together till Sunday comes and it's too late to participate. I have to at least climb back to renew my posts on my blog here.

    Thank you for checking in on me. It means the world.

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    1. The holidays can be so hard, ML. I do hope you visit from time to time--and I will keep checking on you. We writers are a different lot. So solitary, yet so concerned about the well-being of each other. :-) A big hug to you. :-)

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  10. A great action packed scene and very well described. Left me hoping and wondering whether she will escape.

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    1. Thanks SE! I'm glad it had you wondering! :-)

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  11. The image, the pacing, everything works so well in this sequence. And while I'm dissecting I notice that you don't use that many adjectives, but loads of strong verbs. That's how it's done. You're awesome. :)

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    1. Oh, Dearie! lol, my hat won't fit! I experimented a bit--longer sentences than I'd have typically used in an action scene, but with more powerful verbs. It seems to have worked for you! Woot! :-) Thank you.
      A big hug to you!

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  12. Hi Teresa,
    You are a very good writer! You really had me hooked! Is this an ongoing story? Sally

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    1. Awe, thanks, Sally! It is the first novel I wrote, currently editing it. More of a major overhaul. I'll get there. :-)

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  13. Hi Teresa; Well, this is a gripping tale! Would love to read more. Great Idea for a blog hop. May join in, soon. Thanks for visiting my new blog site, as well.
    Have a great weekend.
    Cheers!

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    1. Cool. Thanks, Deb! It was my pleasure visiting your blog. Nice blog, btw.I hope you do join in. 6SS is about to become defunct, but something is on the horizon. :-) I'll let you know. :-)

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