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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors: June 30, 2013

Welcome, warriors!  And welcome to SnipSuns and anyone else who wanders in. Holy cow--It's almost July! All that's left of June is the whining that it flew by so fast!

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog-hop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at Weekend Writing Warriors, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between 12:00 noon Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST.  Then we visit each other, read, comment, critique, encourage--all those great things that do a solitary writer's heart good.


Set up:  This week is a big change-up. If you participated in SixSunday, you might recall that I posted some journal entries from my MC, who is homeless and delusional. This scene takes place pretty early in the book. Rissa (in her dreams) is actually Marissa in the here and now reality.

She's convinced that her "crazy" dreams are actually memories of two years of her life and of a missing newborn baby.  I know. A lot to take in.  Swordplay, her handsome lover Cuylrh, her friend Jia, troublemaker Dhurstan, and the evil Daekartha all exist in her dreams.

This is part of a journal entry. Izzy is at the desk of the shelter during the night shift. I'll continue it next week. Journal entries are part of reality.

*note   You might encounter creative punctuation :-)

"This morning, I woke up from my dream because Izzy called for me, and that is odd. Not odd that Izzy called me, but that her voice woke me up. I learned during my therapy and treatments  that, generally, dreams are penetrable—that another person can communicate or make suggestions to the dreamer—and that includes waking up the dreamer. But that was just one more thing the doctors discovered about me they had no explanation for. My dreams are impenetrable, as solid as if they were built with rock walls. I’m in my dreams for the duration. They could only guess when I was dreaming from heart rate and p.e.t. scans. But, so typical--their lack of understanding didn't stop them from prescribing pills that made me feel as crazy as they all said I was."

That's it.  What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!  Sundays are extra busy for me right now, so it might take me several days to return visits, but I will. Have a great week, all!

48 comments:

  1. Very interesting snippet. I never thought about dreams in this way.

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    1. I did a lot of research into dreams before writing this. And, Yikes! I wrote it in 2005-2006. The way research is zooming ahead, I'll have to double check all of my "facts" with current data. :-) Thanks for visiting, AS. :-)

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  2. Wow, quite a twist this week, as you said. Will be interesting to see what happens next. Excellent excerpt!

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  3. Her questions and concerns are unnerving. Excellent snippet.

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  4. I love how *real* this character seems! You do such a great job of pulling readers right into her thoughts and feelings.

    It's funny though. Recently I was thinking about that scene with Marissa finding herself in a dark place, hearing what seemed to be a baby crying and finding what seemed to be a pretty scary monster, and I was thinking I'd like to read more about Marissa now that I've read so much about Rissa :-D

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    1. Great minds... :-) lol.

      It's a challenge to find the right voice for each of them, because technically, they are the same person, after all. BUT, Marissa has been through hell. Before her missing two years, she was a typical person. Now she's lost a child, has vanished memories. I'll stop there. Just suffice to say she is not the same person.

      Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  5. [sigh] Doctors and their pills. Terrific characterization here, Teresa, and some very nice (and dark) tension build-up. Nicely done!

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  6. She has a very real voice, and raises some intriguing questions. Great snippet.

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    1. Thanks, Karen. I so want her to come off a real person the reader can relate to. :-)

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  7. I'm great intrigued by the complex story line, mixing the dreams with reality. I'm brand new to this, writing the same type of mixture... I will definitely be back for more!

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    1. Haha! Yes, we are writing the same mixture! And I will be back to your blog for more. :-)

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  8. Whoa. I'm taken by surprise. You might consider removing a few that's and softening her thoughts by taking out 'But that was' and 'But'.
    Just my opinion--always going for the natural speech pattern.

    Marvelous complex concept, Teresa. Thanks

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    1. Thanks, Charmaine. I'm forever trying to tighten it up. ~sigh~ lol.

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  9. Powerful piece Teresa! I really feel like i'm connecting with Marissa in this because you really put the reader into her mind here.

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  10. But which set of memories is the "crazy" one?

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    1. Yay! BINGO! You are sharp to come to that question so quickly. The question lingers the whole way through the story. :-) Thanks for visiting, Sue Ann. :-)

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  11. Ooh, I like it. There's foreshadowing that something's changed, but is it her mind, her medication, or her reality? I love the puzzle of the unreliable narrator, Teresa!

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    1. Yay! I hoped you'd like it, Monica :-)

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  12. :-( well I left a comment earlier - but I guess the gods of the internet ate it. Lovely snippet - quite tense and worrisome for the MC. Only suggestion is I don't believe you need the "up" after woke (just a nit). Great #8

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    1. Thanks for editing tip, Susan! :-) The internet gods play with us for their own amusement. ;-)

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  13. This is an intriguing twist on a story that has already hooked me!

    I'm thinking both lives are real---and if she's allowed, I'll bet I know which one she would choose.

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    1. Ha! I can't tell. :-) I LOVE your guess. :-) Thanks for visiting, Sarah :-)

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  14. Wonderful insight and realistic viewpoint, what a great snippet!

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  15. I'm fascinated with the idea of the story being her dreams that might be memories...cool concept! Good job, Teresa! I'm in!

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    1. Woot! Thanks, Nan. It's daunting, to be rewriting and trying to correct so many mistakes I made the first time around. :-)

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  16. Interesting concept. I curious to know how this plays out.

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  17. Now I want to know which memories are true and which are dreams. It could go either way. I felt a connection to her and wanted things to go well.

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    1. All good things to hear, Elaine! Thank you so much!

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  18. Teresa, I worked nearly ten years as an RN on intensive care psychiatry in Minneapolis, but you have taught me more and it sounds credible. I thought that I knew a lot about delusions and hallucinations, but you have added a new dimension for me.

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    1. Yikes! The pressure is on to be sure about my "facts" in the story. lol. Thanks for the encouraging words, Carol! :-)

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  19. A true psychological mystery to keep me guessing:) Interesting details, especially the lack of physical evidence supporting her "dream state". I liked the social commentary on the medical field's typical prescribing habits - a quick fix regardless of true understanding! Nicely done:)

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    1. Thanks, Sam. I've witnessed it in the psychiatric group. And a truly scary book on the subject is called, "The Antidepressant Solution" by Joseph Glenmullen. It's a crime the way too many doctors indiscriminately prescribe unneeded or wrong medicine. Thanks for visiting and all of your kind words.

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  20. Oh, excellent. I especially love that last line about how the pills made her feel as crazy as they all said she was. Isn't that the truth sometimes!

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    1. Oh my, it sure is, Ann. Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  21. I'm with Ann Swann, LOVE the pills line!!! Art imitating life. Terrific eight, as usual!!! Thanks for stopping by my blog today too, Teresa!!

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    1. Thanks! I feel so encouraged, right now. :-)

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  22. Wow, that IS a lot to take in, but such a cool idea, Teresa. I love that you have her in a mental ward. It reminded me of the song Astronaut Dreams by Peter Meyer (you should check it out). Nicely done. I was totally captivated.

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    1. AWESOME SONG!! I never heard it before. I love it! :-)

      Thanks, Siobham! :-)

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  23. This voice is so confident, despite the questionable nature of their situation. It draws me in as a reader and desperately wants me to see them make their way out of this circumstance.

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  24. I like dream so much, I think her problem come from the pills. I would love my dreams to be impenetrable. I wonder where she goes when she is dreaming.

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    1. Thanks, Linda. She goes off across the stars, sometimes waking crying, sometimes waking so happy. :-)

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