Weekend Writing Warriors: August 11, 2013
Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
Set up: Marissa has spent the last year homeless and delusional. In this week's post, she's moving into a small house owned by a church. The pastor (Pastor Zaylor) and Rayanne, her volunteer counselor, are helping her take this step from the homeless shelter to her new "home". Marissa has just opened a gift box of towels, washcloths, a new toothbrush, hairbrush, and assorted toiletries, given to her by Rayanne..
*note You might encounter creative punctuation :-)
Pastor Zaylor cleared his throat then said, “I have a gift for you,
too, but I didn’t wrap it.” Placing a thick, black book in her hands, his expression became solemn.
“I think we
should give you some time alone now to settle in.”
She traced her fingers from the gleaming guilt edge, across large, ornate, gold
letters, to where the words, Holy Bible stretched vertically down the spine. Stroking the attached silk ribbon bookmark, she pondered what to say. What were the right words to thank him for a book he believed with all his heart, but read like fiction to her?
He grabbed her into a hug, and said, “There are a lot of answers in that
book, young lady; take time to read it.”
That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom. Thank you so much for visiting! Sundays are extra busy for me right now, so it might take me several days to return visits, but I will. Have a great week, all!
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That's a great gift from the Pastor. I hope she finds those answers in that book. Nice 8, Teresa.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Frank. You know how life is--and thank heavens for this. the answers only ever create more questions. Thanks for visiting. :-)
DeleteThat's a totally realistic thing for the pastor to do and say. It's going to be a bit tough for Marissa to live in an environment like that, but you've set up how determined she is, so I'm looking forward to seeing a bit of how she handles it. Lovely 8, Teresa.
ReplyDeleteYep, it is going to be tough. But it's part of her healing process. :-) Thanks, Marcia! :-)
DeleteWhat jumped me, was the last line "There are a lot of answers in that book, ...". Even though I never managed to read The Bible completely, I know quite a few people who find answers in there for their problems.
ReplyDeleteAnd it makes me grin to stumble over this, as I didn't expect it.
Thanks, Hanni! Tickles me pink that you stumbled over it. :-) !
DeleteI love the part where you're describing the book. it's so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lauren! ;-)
DeleteBeautiful detail leaden with emotion, Teresa. Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Steven! :-)
DeleteI could relate to her quandary about how to say thank you for the gift. It has come up a few times in my own life. Best advice: keep it short and simple. :-)
ReplyDeleteI too loved the description of the book.
Good advice, Debbbie! :-) Thanks for visiting.
DeleteEmotive and powerful snippet, loved the description of the book too.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gemma! :-)
DeleteYou've portrayed a very realistic interaction here, great snippet!
ReplyDeleteGood words to read--that it's realistic! Thanks, Karen :-)
DeleteHe's right. And she's right. The book to some reads like fiction, but, you can get answers to personal dilemma's by reading allegories and stories of other's trials and tribulations and how they deal with them. Nice #eight!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Millie! So true! :-)
DeleteI think a lot of people have this same struggle with belief and what to believe and how far it goes...and what to say when you don't agree with the belief of another person. So, this rings as very true and realistic to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks, J.M. I'm trying so hard to keep it believable since half of the story is craziness in her head. :-)
DeleteI can only echo what the others have said - very realistic scene in this intriguing story. Terrific snippet yet again!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica! :-)
DeleteThere's an earnest feeling, a humanity to this excerpt that rings very true. It's a beautiful moment - giving her something he believes in. I think you captured the tenderness and the intimacy of the moment beautifully. Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, AM! :-)
DeleteAnd it's true there are a lot of answers and old wisdom there, even if you don't believe.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Sue Ann. Thanks for visiting.
DeleteThis is lovely, so visual and realistic. The amount of detail is amazing - and yet there is an ease to it. I love it when you do that - and you do that quite a lot! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dana! :-)
DeleteI love the dialogue between them. Sometimes the best thing you can say is simply thank you, even when a gift isn't what you were expecting.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Carrie-Anne! :-)
DeleteGreat snippet! Wonderful description.
ReplyDeleteThank you, A.S. ! :-)
DeleteI love how you describe the pastor's love of the Bible... that he "read it like fiction". He made God's Word come alive to her, and I love that. It's like that same love is being awakened in Marissa as she strokes the leather Bible in her hands... very touching scene!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan! I'm glad it resonated with you. :-)
DeleteDelightful #8 - lots of growth and changes in store for Marissa whether the bible continues to seem fiction to her or not. Very well done on the interaction/reaction.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan. Yes. and this is in the first one quarter of the book. Much to go. :-)
DeleteThanks, Monica! :-)
ReplyDeleteI think it's a difficult situation for Marissa. I wish people could help others without forcing their believes on them.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linda. Religion, such a crazy subject. Always has been, always will be... :-)
Delete