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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors: May 18, 2014



     

 Weekend Writing Warriors

         Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in. May is past halfway through! Where does time go?

     Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

     Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE


      Set up. I've skipped ahead a few paras. Their food has arrived. There's been some back and forth between Fode, and Kad's group. Fode expressed distrust--not sure if these people are Dom-Cen plants (spies).   The dust is finally settling, though tension remains. Fode gives the introduction and handshake another try. Tweaked punctuation to fit into the 8 sentence limit.





     Kad reached out and shook the proffered  hand, then watched as Drave  accepted Fode’s hand when it came his way. It was only seconds before the discomfort of the crushing grasp showed on the Port man’s face. Before releasing the vise grip, Drave nodded his head, slow and measured, without losing sight of Fode’s eyes. If that wasn’t enough to let the local man know that he was no match for Drave should he choose to betray their whereabouts, then he deserved the merciless shellacking the giant of a man would unleash on him. 
      While they ate, the awkward silence grew thick as midwinter ice-fog, until Fode broke it. “I never look hard at a face and I never remember names,” Then he managed a pinched smile before adding, “At least when asked.”

     His voice was a mire of warning and sarcasm when Drave finally spoke. “A good policy to stay alive.

     Hey...at least they're all talking now. ;-)

     That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad? I'd love to hear it.  Thank you so much for reading this.

     One quick note. It was a good week. I had the pleasure of meeting one of wewriwa's participants, the very talented, fun, and interesting  Susan, aka Sue K aka Susan Koenig, author of The Bench . She was traveling through my neck of the woods and we were fortunate to be able to sync our schedules so we could meet for Dinner. Sue's been involved with other things that have kept her away from wewriwa, but told me she'll be getting back it to it soon.

 

     If you're traveling my way, I'd love to meet you. I'm in western Pennsylvania, USA. Closest city  to me is Pittsburgh, PA. Have a good week!

52 comments:

  1. Sounds like a very good policy indeed! :)

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    1. Yep. Agreed, Ian. Thanks for visiting! :-)

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  2. "A good policy to stay alive." Excellent line, and I totally agree. I'm glad someone broke that uncomfortable silence. Nice snippet.

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    1. :-) Talking is a big step, ;-) Thanks for visiting, Frank :-)

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  3. Lots of testosterone in this scene. :)

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    1. Sure is, Gem. Thanks for visiting! :-)

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  4. Solid stuff, Teresa, great exchange and tensioin!

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  5. So much simmering tension. Love it:)

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  6. I love everything that is NOT being said in this exchange. :) Definitely amps up the tension.

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    1. Neat!There is a lot that isn't being said. Thanks for visiting, Donna! :-)

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  7. The tension just emanates off the page. Who's going to blink first, I wonder? Great 8!

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    1. :-) lol-- nice way to put it, Jenna. Yep, we never want to be first to blink. Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  8. Way cool in the heat of the moment. Well written, Teresa. As Gem said, testosterone so thick you could cut it and serve like steak.

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    1. "...testosterone so thick you could cut it and serve like steak." Written like a true writer! Thanks for visiting, Charmaine. :-)

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  9. I have a feeling the rest of the day is not going to be a fun, easygoing block of time :) Glad you're continuing with this.

    How lovely that you and Sue got to meet up! :)

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    1. Thanks, Marcia. I'm trying to stick with it, lol, but I'm ready to change it up just for variety. ~sigh~ But I won't. I need to show a little restraint. :-) Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  10. Love this, and good for them to talk like - ahem - civilized men. This may just be me, but I'm thinking the whole last line of the first para should be red penned. It's telling me something you just showed me, quite well I might add : )

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    1. Hmm... I see what you mean, Millie. Taking under advisement. :-) Thanks for the crit! I do appreciate it. :-)

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  11. Excellent! Yes, they're talking. Well, Communicating (capital intentional), is more like it. Love that you and Sue got to meet in person. It would be so much fun to do a road trip to meet people I've connected with through writing...

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    1. Oh I wish we all could manage to get together for a writers' retreat, you know, to some hot, sandy, sort of beachy place. lol. Yep. It's pretty neat to meet other writers! Thanks for visiting, Karysa! ;-)

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  12. Hmm, I'm thinking I want Drave on my side. Love the view of him in this scene. Great eight! (and a great photo too - love the smiles)

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    1. Definitely on your side, in wartime and peacetime. :-) Thanks for visiting, Alexis. :-)

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  13. I wonder if he really forgets names and faces that easily.

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  14. Hmm those two women look like they're having a great time! Oh right, they were! Thanks so much :)

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  15. I love the descriptive language to describe the emotional mood.

    I'm originally from Pittsburgh, though I have no idea when I'll next be in the area. I know I'd love to promote my books at some of the city's indie bookstores because of my local connection, and I've considered moving back someday.

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    1. Thanks, Carrie-Anne. Oh, please let me know when you do get back for a visit! It would be wonderful to get to meet, to have a dinner together. :-)

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  16. Great eight! The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife even though they're speaking civilly to each other now. Can't wait for more! And love the picture. You guys look like you had a great time :-)

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  17. You have a good grasp of showing the testosterone in the room. I especially like the ending about the names and faces. Such guy talk. This line is very good, "the awkward silence grew thick as midwinter ice-fog". Showing is great but when you show using elements from the made up world itself, even better!
    History Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders

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  18. Enjoying the wariness of these two. That's a really great simile too!

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  19. Poor Fode has better be telling the truth. :)

    Is Drave always this, ah, grumpy, or does he soften up when he isn't on a mission like this one?

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  20. Oww, they're still dancing around each other. It's so cool that you and Susan got to meet.

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  21. "grew thick as midwinter ice-fog", love it, it lends credence to just how tense the situation is.

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  22. Oh, great exchange! The tension jumps off the page (or rather screen;). Well done.

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  23. Gotta love long, tense silences :)

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  24. I'm enjoying this story, thought the snippet was quite atmospheric and established how the guys were going to be dealing with each other going forward - great 8!

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  25. Thanks, Veronica. Sometimes 8 sentences can direct the reader in a different direction. Context is warped. ;-)

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  26. I need to go back and read through the snippets I've missed. The mid-winter ice fog is a truly inspired descriptive phrase. The last line made me giggle. Great job.

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