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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors: May 25, 2014



 Weekend Writing Warriors

         Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in. I hope everyone is having a good weekend. If you're in the USA and traveling for the holiday, be safe on the highways. I'll be heading out later today with hubby and two dogs heading an hour and a half north to our daughter's house for a barbecue. Tomorrow, the local small town has a parade and a Memorial Day Ceremony at the gazebo in the park. It might take me a day or two to make my rounds to read all of the great snippets.  :-)

     Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

     Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE


      Set up. I've skipped ahead a few paras.  They've finished eating, and Fode (the Port Operator) is tired, and he's questioning the plan that Kad and company have decided.



     Fode glanced at all three of them, then propped his elbows on the table. Lifting his fingers to his temples, he began to rub in a circular motion, making his eyes open, then nearly close, open, then nearly close.  “Are you sure you wanna head upriver tonight?  Awfully dark by the time you get there—to be heading into the mountains. You know what I’m saying?” 

     Kad had a gut a feeling that the guy was okay, but still nodded at Drave, looking for his opinion. The big guy always seemed to have a crystal ball when it came to picking out sneaks and snitches.
     
Seems that they've worked through the worst of it without Drave drawing blood. ;-)
     That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad? I'd love to hear it.  Thank you so much for reading this.

40 comments:

  1. The testosterone levels seem to have dropped considerably, thank goodness. And I think Fode makes a good point. But will they trust him--aye, that's the rub. Nice tension here.

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  2. It seems difficult to know whom to trust in desperate situations, even if it is someone who know. So much trickier when you don't really know them. Good that they have a sneak-sniffer amongst them. So how many weeks back to do have to go to get the whole story on this one? :O)

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    1. Oh my, a long way back, LuAnn. Perhaps as far as 7 or 8 months. I need to compile them. Thanks for visiting! :-)

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  3. I could feel the tension among them ratcheting down. Well done.

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  4. I love the symbolism of his gestures, great work as always Teresa! have a great memorial day week-end!!

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  5. I really love the amount of detail you put into the dialogue. Brilliantly written, Teresa!

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  6. I can't wait to find out what happens in the mountains! Great 8, I feel as if I'm sitting there with them...

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    1. That's good to read, Veronica! Thank you :-)

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  7. Very nice details. I'm really wondering why they've decided to risk traveling at night, which adds great suspense.

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  8. They haven't drawn blood...so far. There's still a journey until they make it to the mountains, and the tension can rev up any minute. Can't wait! Great snippet, as always, Teresa!

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  9. Traveling by night is probably dangerous, but it might be more dangerous to stay. No blood drawn yet anyway. I forgot to sign up, but I did sentences at http://www.elainepcantrell.blogspot.com

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  10. Yes, how will Drave react to this info? I wonder. Loved the image I got of the port operators eyes...I could just see it : )

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    1. :-) When we move on, usually we're not only searching for something, but we're running from something too. :-) Thanks for visiting, Sue Ann!

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  12. Crystal ball image occurs to me in this eight. Very interesting.

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    1. :-) Thank you Charmaine. It's good to know what images a writer's words evoke. :-)

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  13. Good tension, Teresa. I'd change "He lifted his fingers to his temples, then began to rub in a circular motion, making his eyes open, then nearly close, open, then nearly close." to "He lifted his fingers to his temples to rub in a circular motion, making his eyes open and nearly close a few times like an old dog." That shortens the sentence and still describes the motion. Good snippet. :)

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    1. Thanks for sharing your ideas, Siobhan! It's definitely still a work in progress. :-)

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  14. I have a feeling that if Fode is a snitch, Drave will tear off his arms and massage the PO's temples with 'em!

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    1. Lolol! Too funny, Sarah! Hmm...shall I work that into the story?? Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  15. You have a ‘then’ in the first two sentences. Way too many ‘then’ I like the sneaks and snitches, good alliteration

    sounds like a great weekend!

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    1. Thanks for the catch, Sue. :-) How's the writing coming along?

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  16. I agree with Sarah;). Strong interaction and atmosphere.

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  17. I like the visual you create with the eyes opening, closing, opening... It really pulls the reader in.

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    1. Thanks, Chelle. I hoped it would work. I think it's my writing voice coming through. :-)

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  18. I hope they'll be safe in the mountains so late at night! You really bring this scene to life with the great details.

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  19. Kind of late to the party, but I didn't want to miss this. They seem to have felt each other out for the most part but I'm guessing there's still tension to come. None of these guys can afford to relax. You've sure got some engaging characters here!

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  20. Great visual here. Also love the bit about the crystal ball. Very descriptive :)

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