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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors August 10, 2014


 Weekend Writing Warriors

      Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns.  So glad you could stop by for a visit. :-)


     Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

     Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
 
    The travelers are now on the boat that is taking them upriver into the Firce Mountains.  :-)  Tayden has just asked Wiley if his Maker ever answers him. We are still in Kad's POV.






     Then, very unusual for Tayden, his tone changed to one bordering sarcasm when he added, “Since it’s such a holy place.” 

     Turning away from the stone cliffs to look at the young man, Wiley seemed to study the shadow under his hood before he said, “You’re no believer, then?”

     Tayden stood tall under Wiley’s questioning. “The circumstances of my life have led me to doubt.”

     The old man’s expression softened. “Take off your hood, son. You’re safe here." He hesitated then, as if searching for the words before he said, "Ain't no Maker who dictated your circumstances; it was a mere Juman.”

Wiley's still not done. He has a story to tell Tayden about his Maker answering him.

That's it. What works, what doesn't?

The Allegheny River today, just below Ford City (about 40 river miles north of Pittsburgh PA). No stone cliffs here. :-)

47 comments:

  1. Poignant dialogue, and that last statement is very true, I think (even for a heathen such as myself ;D). Beautiful work, Teresa!

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    1. Hi Steven, I was reworking it while you left your comment. I thought the (original) last statement felt too abrupt in the conversation, so I'll post it next week. :-) Thanks for your encouraging words! :-) When writing about beliefs, I'm never sure what turns off a reader.

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  2. You're writing about things with which every reader can identify.
    Who hasn't had their doubts?
    Will Tayden also have a revelation?
    Kudos!

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    1. Thanks, Chip, for the encouragement. I'd likely classify myself as a deist, but I was raised Roman Catholic. That's kind of like having a foot soundly planted in two different worlds. ;-) Nearly every culture on the planet has (and had) some belief system. I think I've only read of one nomadic African tribe that really had no type of belief, or concept of the hereafter. So, it stands to reason imho, that no matter where you go across the universe, you'll likely run into culture-wide beliefs. :-)

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  3. Nice exchange between these two very different (at the moment) characters. Looking forward to what is said next.

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  4. I'm looking forward to seeing more into the culture and their beliefs. You're doing a great job of luring us in. Wiley's a great character.

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  5. I'm not sure you need to tell me that Tayden isn't usually sarcastic...I could tell by Wiley's answer that he's being a bit saucy in his disbelief. I am really loving the exchange between these two. I always want MORE, and then have to patiently wait!

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    1. :-) Thanks for the advice, Millie, and for visiting! :-)

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  6. Wiley may be exactly who Tayden needs. I'm glad they met. :)

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    1. :-) He's making this rewrite come to life. ;-) Thanks, Sarah !

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  7. I love your dialogue and the way you slowly reveal their belief system. Great conversation between these two.

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  8. At last, Tayden is close to the reveal. I've loved him since the beginning and now he's met the understanding Wiley. Perfect name for the rascal.

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    1. Awe, thanks, Charmaine! A little guy coming into the world, unwanted, denied. Children never have a choice.

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  9. I like the sense you give of Tayden's vulnerability. How Wiley seems to see through him. The "shadow under the hood" part reinforces it so nicely.

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    1. Thanks, Eleri. Tayden's having a really bad day. :-)

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  10. I'm not sure what "Juman" means, but if it's the term for what they all are, right on.

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    1. "Juman" is what they are. A play on "Human". :-) Thanks, Sue Ann.

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  11. I really like the slow steady cadence of your character's speech patterns in this snippet. Nice snippet.

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  12. I love the interchange between them, and the look into each one's beliefs.

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    1. Thanks, Carrie-Anne. I think beliefs are so important to scifi and fantasy books. :-)

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  13. Nice relationship developing. I like the deep empathy from Wiley.

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    1. Yep. I think it is. lol. I'm writing Wiley as I go. He was a minor, nameless character in the rough draft. :-)

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  14. Not sure if I entered this comment twice, but anyway I like the empathy Wiley has for Tayden.

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  15. Again, really good characterization here. The dialogue is great. Good job :)

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  16. Love this snippet. The interaction between these characters is so strong and the dialog is fantastic. Great 8!

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  17. Will be interesting to see what Wiley has to add on this topic. Another excellent snippet!

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    1. It will ;-) Thanks for visiting, Veronica!

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  18. Great insight into Tayden and Wiley's personalities.

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  19. Wiley's a great character. Doesn't judge but will tell you the straight-up truth even if it's not what you want to hear. He and Tayden balance each other so nicely.

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    1. Yes! I am so glad you got that, Marcia! Thanks :-)

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  20. Poor Tayden, he is carrying around a world of hurt. I like Wiley.

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    1. He really is, Chelle. Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  21. Seems like a bond may be forming. Great dialogue! And I really like the play on 'human' with 'juman'. :)

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    1. Yes, it does seem that way. Thanks for visiting, Karen! :-)

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  22. I wonder if he is going to make him believe.

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    1. :-) I don't know if anyone can make another person truly believe... Good question, Linda! Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  23. Wow! Great interaction. I am looking forward to hearing what Wiley has to share.

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  24. I want to hear Wiley's story. Even though it probably won't make Tayden believe (you can't make anyone believe) I'm certain it will at least get him thinking, and who knows if a bond will form between the characters. Great snippet, Teresa!

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