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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Weekend Writing Warriors: February 22, 2015

Welcome Warriors.  In light of yet another snowstorm in my part of the world, I'm focusing on what next Sunday is. The first of MARCH!  We're getting there... I can almost hear the spring peepers singing. :-)
   If you'd like to know about the Weekend Writing Warriors teeshirts,  please see note at the end.
        Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 

          Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE   
This is Chapter 2 from my WIP, ATNS, called "The Hunter"  where we're introduced to the male main character, Cuylrh (rhymes with Tyler). They're preparing for a hunt on a remote world. Abraxum is Cuylrh's "first guard", a royal designation. He is a teacher, mentor, and bodyguard to Cuylrh.
Last week's 8 ended with this,  spoken first by Cuylrh, then answered by his old guard, Abraxum:
“Your words carry your displeasure to my ears, most loyal guard. Would you speak what chafes you?”
Abraxum leaned close. “The hunt.”
We pick up from there:

“The hunt? What about this hunt could possibly aggrieve you?”
“No disrespect, m’Lord, but it’s not this hunt I speak of.”
Cuylrh lowered his face again, but this time his cheeks burned hot. Guilt or embarrassment, did it matter? He hated disappointing his old guard. A perfectly-timed, soft whistle off to his left interrupted them. While two bird-like trills sounded, Abraxum nodded at him and said, “They approach.”
 
  
           That's it. What works. What doesn't? I'm grateful for every comment you leave. :-) And thanks bunches and bunches for visiting!
         
If you'd like to order a teeshirt, we're down to 7 days to do it. As before, we're not making any profit on these shirts. We're just trying to give our wonderful, talented, family of writer/participants an opportunity to own a shirt that shows off something really neat. Something we're proud of. We're writers. :-)   Everything is handled through the company that prints the shirts. You choose style and color from available options, they take your information, and the payment doesn't go through unless we meet a minimum number of sales. If they print the shirts, they also ship directly to the buyers. If you'd like to pre-order one, or just see what's available, click HERE!   If you pre-ordered in the last drive, we're sorry, but you'll have to go through the process again.

Have a great week, all!

64 comments:

  1. Have the hunters become the game?
    Nice 8!

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    1. Nope :-) I'll continue from this chapter. :-) Thanks for visiting, Chip.

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  2. Is it a previous hunt that's bothering the guard, or the hunts in general?

    I can't wait to find out!

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    1. An ongoing hunt that's about to wind down in a hurry. A hunt for two-legged prey that are decidedly female. ;-)
      Thanks for visiting, Sarah!

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  3. Oh, now that's very mysterious. Great snippet, Teresa. :)

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  4. Aha! What hunt is he referring to? I don't know what's gone on previously, but that sounded a bit wink-wink-nudge-nudge :)

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    1. Hmmm...you are danged intuitive, methinks. lol Yes, Ian. The majority of hunting has not been for four legged prey :-) Good to see ya! Thanks for stopping by :-)

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  5. I agree with Botanist -- it sounds like a nudge-nudge-wink-wink sort of hunt. I'm curious to see where this goes.

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    1. :-) Yes, PT. You're on the right track. Many layers to this character... :-)

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  6. Love the old way in which they speak! I've always loved that era and I think you write it well. I'm curious to see what this hunt is. Nice snippet.

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    1. Thanks! I'm trying to work a little bit of an archaic feel to it, without it sounding stilted. Weird lines to cross, though. This is scifi, and he isn't human. :-)

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  7. I'm also curious as to just what kind of hunt he's referring to. Are the hunters going to become the hunted?

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    1. :-) Nothing as dark as that, Carrie-Anne. But I'm so glad to read that your curiosity is piqued. :-) Thanks for visiting.

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  8. That snowstorm is so hard for us to imagine while we whinge about the heat. Stay safe!
    Intriguing snippet today.

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    1. Oh my, I hear you about the hear, Iris. I think the older I get, the more I want Camelot weather. ;-) Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  9. Secrets. You left me imagining scenarios for what "the hunt" might be or where, or maybe what the hunted is. I'm hooked.

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    1. :-) I am SO glad to read those words, Gem. Thank you :-)

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  10. Damn cagey old guard, just spit it out! ;D This is great stuff, Teresa, keep e'm coming!

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    1. Hahaha! Cagey old Abraxum. lol. Nice, Steven! Thanks :-)

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  11. Hmm. I like it. It draws me in and makes me want more. Great excerpt. :)

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  12. So, what's her name??? Ha, very fun eight.

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    1. Thanks, Millie! Even Cuylrh didn't get her name right. ;-)

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  13. I've missed a bunch from your story but have been thinking about it, so am glad to see an excerpt here! One of your strengths is characterization and that comes through here. The characters think like real people, not cardboard cutouts.

    One suggestion? I think it would help if you dropped a couple uses of "hunt". From the end of the last excerpt through the start of this one, the word is used several times and that always feels a bit stilted to me. I think Abraxum's point comes through without the repetition.

    Sure hope more peeps order the WeWriWa tee shirt! I want mine to be printed! :-D

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    1. Comment noted and I'll be editing this again later tonight. Thanks, Marcia!

      And, yes...I still have to order mine, That'll knock down the number needed by several. :-)

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  14. Well I pulled in for sure. Can't wait to find out more.

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  15. Ain't it just like a mentor to point out your mistakes? I love how Abraxum does it with subtlety. Well draw characters, Teresa!

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  16. Listen to your elders, my children from one who knows-or doesn't . Write on, fearless leader. Female marauders afoot? Can't wait.

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    1. Haha! Female marauders... Nice. :-) There shall be one mighty enough to challenge not only any man with a sword, but the patriarchal status quo of a culture. :-)

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  17. Love the old world feel to the snippet. I'm intrigued to know more.

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    1. Thanks, Michelle. I'm a babe in the woods with that kind of writing. You are a master. :-) Thanks for visiting!

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  18. OK, so now I'm even more intrigued to find out exactly what hunt is embarrassing him and worrying the guard. Well done! Always love your world building and excerpts.

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    1. :-D Thanks, Veronica! All such good words to read from you!

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  19. I am so glad I'm not the only one that caught all the hidden innuendo in this snippet! I was beginning to think I just had an overly dirty mind! LOL...

    One suggestion that's been bugging me. Even knowing how to pronounce Cuylrh's name, I still stumble over it every dang time. Maybe your previous readers wouldn't, but it interrupts my flow of reading. Even an inserted "e" somewhere (i.e., "Cuylerh") would help. I'm all for fantastic names when writing fantasy stories, but if the phonics don't work relatively quickly it starts to bug me more than intrigue me. Just a thought. :-)

    Hope you're having a great weekend! :-)

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    1. lol! No, not a dirty mind. Perhaps just intuitive? :-)

      I'm seriously mulling over your suggestion. :-)

      Thanks for visiting!

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  20. Can't quite decide if this "hunt" of which they speak involves game of the four legged or two legged variety--and if the latter, a female? His embarrassment makes me thing the latter. Great way of drawing us in.

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  21. I like the layers of emotions and meanings here. It sounds like they're referring to a manhunt that may not be all that black and white.

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    1. Lots of colors in between, Aheila. :-) Thanks for visiting. :-)

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  22. That blush makes me think that there might be women involved in this hunt... Looking forward to more! Great snippet as always, Teresa!

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    1. Yes indeed, women involved in A hunt. ;-) Thanks for visiting, Elyzabeth.

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  23. His embarrassment adds a layer onto your character quite well. I'd love to find out what the hunt is all about and what part these two play in it.

    I'm new to this hop, and to your work, but I will say, the name "Cuylrh" sounds like Sooeelruh, in my head. Maybe it's just me, but I would gently suggest a different spelling if rhyming with Tyler is your goal.

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Patricia. Seriously mulling it over. :-)

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  24. Hmm. Can't decide quite what we're hunting. Great 8 as usual.

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    1. :-) A gal. ;-) I can't give it all away at once, Elaine. Thanks for visiting!

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  25. Ooh, what? So what hunt IS he talking about? An intriguing snippet, Teresa. Nice job. :)

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    1. He's been on the hunt for a female. He's been ordered by his grandfather to take a mate.

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  26. Ok, if the 3rd time is the charm, maybe my comment will post?
    Whether guilt or embarrassment, I wonder what happened during THAT hunt that causes him to blush and worries Abraxum. Great snippet.

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    1. Thanks, Chelle. Sorry it took so many tries for you to post!

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  27. Cuylrh (glad you gave us the pronunciation!) seems like he's risky his superior's wrath. Hope it turns out well for him.

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  28. This is good. The old-style language is effective, as is the characterization you achieve here.

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  29. I love that "guilt or embarrassment" comment. Love the language also. OMG, I didn't realize next week is the first day of March, how time flies!

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    1. Thanks, Neva! Yes, it sure does fly. And at the end of winter, I must admit that I'm happy for it. ;-)

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  30. Another lovely snippet, Reesie! I enjoy the old fashioned nature of his word choices and speech pattern.

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  31. I get the feeling Abraxum is referring to a more *personal* sort of hunt? Nice 8!

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  32. Oh, they were interrupted just at the wrong moment, that makes me wonder what is coming next.

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