Weekend Writing Warriors December 6, 2015

 Hello all.  Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, a weekly bloghop.
 Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

              This is from my WIP Across the Night Sky. I've skipped a few paras. Rissa and her wounded companion, Kuylrh are still hiding, watching, listening, waiting. "Gavin" is her small son she was with just before she wound up here in this unknown place full of attacking predators.

Creative punctuation alert. 

Rissa listened, hoping for voices speaking English, or even voices from outside of their group speaking any language. There were none.   No more footsteps or panicked breaths, and thankfully, no more frightened cries, or screams of agony. No one else showed up in the doorway. She guessed that they’d all either found decent places to hide, or they were just gone.

               Gone. The thought made her heart race. A lump formed in her throat. Gavin. 

 That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you share. :-)