Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Weekend Writing Warriors December 6, 2015

 Hello all.  Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, a weekly bloghop.
 Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
              Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
              This is from my WIP Across the Night Sky. I've skipped a few paras. Rissa and her wounded companion, Kuylrh are still hiding, watching, listening, waiting. "Gavin" is her small son she was with just before she wound up here in this unknown place full of attacking predators.

Creative punctuation alert. 






Rissa listened, hoping for voices speaking English, or even voices from outside of their group speaking any language. There were none.   No more footsteps or panicked breaths, and thankfully, no more frightened cries, or screams of agony. No one else showed up in the doorway. She guessed that they’d all either found decent places to hide, or they were just gone.

               Gone. The thought made her heart race. A lump formed in her throat. Gavin. 


 That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you share. :-)

15 comments:

  1. That moment when relief turns to worry. You've captured it really well!

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  2. My mommy heart is racing reading that. I just can't imagine the panic...

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  3. A mother's worse nightmare: separated, unable to protect.

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  4. A mother's worse nightmare: separated, unable to protect.

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  5. Great shift in tension here! This really keeps a person reading. No suggestions to change stuff, either! :D

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  6. Relief to frantic worry. Every parent has felt it Beautifully written.

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  7. Where has he gone? Where are the others? I'm sure they're perfectly safe - LoL

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  8. Such an emotional twist at the end. Great snippet, Teresa!:)

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  9. Oh noes, now I have to worry about Gavin!!! Seriously. Enjoying the story, the stakes are sure high for everyone and I'm sure things will only get more intense. Great snippet.

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  10. You've made silence dang scary. Makes you wonder what's out there...

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  11. I don't have kids, but that's gotta be a terrifying situation to be in.

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  12. Losing her son? You've touched heartstrings big time.

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  13. Eerie setting followed by a tug at our hearts, totally grabbing us and shaking us up a bit.

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