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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Weekend Writing Warriors April 9, 2017



Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)!FYI, we will have our regular posting next week on Easter Sunday. For those of you who will be busy with family and Easter traditions next week--I hope you have a good, holiday weekend--and I hope the Easter bunny finds you and brings you lots of chocolate. :-). 
For those who celebrate it, Happy Passover. :-)




  It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.  
                This week's snippet:  Moving ahead in my WIP, jumping many chapters to give you a glimpse of the male MC--a very complex soul. He is alien, capable of reading minds, and incredibly self-disciplined.  Lily is angry--and directing it at him. He's about had his fill of it, dealing with this emotional human.  The last line last week was spoken by Lily. “Or maybe you just don’t have any feelings,” she accused.  
Here we go...

He stopped walking and spun on her. Grabbing her shoulders, he came against her, pinning her to the wall. He lowered his mouth next to her ear. His voice, barely above a whisper, matched the icy coldness in his eyes when he said,“You don’t want to see my emotions. I am not sure you would like me after you have seen me lose control.”
Lily swallowed. Fear replaced any desire she had for a fight. There’d been an edge to his voice, a warning she was going to heed, at least for the time being.
He straightened, backed away from her, and continued on. She followed, half a step behind.

Don't worry. Lily is smart enough to pick her battles. This one wasn't worth the fight. That's it for this week. What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.
  A short note about sidebar promos.  :-) Sidebar promos spots are available at no cost as a perk of regularly participating in Weekend Writing Warriors. If you're interested, all we need is an email from you that includes the link to the Amazon page of the book you'd like to see on our sidebar. Our email address is: wewriwa at yahoo dot com

24 comments:

  1. Love the fireworks between these two. His comment about her not liking him afterwards kinda presumes she likes him now - not exactly a foregone conclusion :)

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    1. True, so true, Ian. He knows her every thought, and he spends fr too much time living in her head. She vacillates between seeing the good in him--and liking him for it, and hating him for the bad she sees. He's actually the more interesting character. He has the soul searching to do. His power is a double edged sword. Whereas Lily is understandable, and we can all relate to what she;s feeling--she wants to go home to the family she loves. :-) Thanks for visiting!!

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  2. Very powerful insight, Teresa. I can feel the darkness and self-judgement in him. Lovely complex characterisation. I want to say that I can taste him, a bit like really good dark chilli chocolate.

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  3. Ooh, ooh. What a challenge. I want to see!

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  4. Warned just enough to keep her mouth shut. . .for now. What a powerful scene. You've captured his presence to a frightening moment.

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  5. Yikes! In her position, I'd heed his warning, too. Maybe best to wait until she knows hims better, learns his weaknesses. Great snippet!

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  6. Yes, I'm sure Lily is smart enough to know when silence is golden. She will pick her battles wisely. Characters who show little emotion are always fascinating (think Mr. Spock from Star Trek). Because we humans are so emotional, we have to relate to them via emotions and when they don't show them, we are intrigued all the more--waiting for that glimpse into what they are hiding. Great snippet, Teresa!

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  7. Tense. I could feel his controlled anger - he wanted to explode but he held in it. Great job.
    Tweeted.

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  8. Smart girl, that Lily. I liked the tension. You can tell he's disciplined. He's a dormant volcano...about to erupt, I presume.

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  9. There's an interesting dynamic going on between these two and yes, I'm glad she didn't pick this battle to fight! Another great snippet...

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  10. Of course, she doesn't seem to like him when he is in control of his emotions. But, she's right to be wary.

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  11. Great snippet, Teresa. Great sense of underlying tension and controlled emotion.
    (PS You do know its Rachel de Vine commenting, don't you? I don't know what's happened but my google account has changed into my other writing name, and I can't work out what has happened. So I have left it.)

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  12. Wow! Very powerful scene. I'd like to see more.

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  13. Loved this snippet- Then tension between the two could be felt. I like how she states 'for now' she'll heed his warning then walks the half a step behind. :)

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  14. Julie Evelyn JoyceApril 9, 2017 at 3:21 PM

    Whoa! I could feel the intensity of this scene. The dialogue is so powerful, as are the descriptions of his actions. Well done!!!

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  15. Whew, intense! Sounds like Lily would be wise to turn him into an ally, not an opponent.

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  16. Hmm. I'll have to remember kisses as a way to end those minor little disagreements with my wife.

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  17. I could feel the tension between them. This was an intense scene.

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  18. So maybe there's a good reason for this ultra-controlled and rigid system. Intriguing!

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  19. Oooo that was intense. Loved it!

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  20. Oh yes, I'd definitely say there are emotions buried in there. Great snippet.

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  21. Whoa. He certainly put an end to that conversation. Made his point.

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  22. Intense snippet! and I am so, so intrigued by him!

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