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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Weekend Writing Warriors Januarly 21, 2018




Hello fellow Warriors (and Snippeteers)! 


  It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. (We check signups to remove links when we don't find a wewriwa post--to save our participants from clicking on empty links--so please have it live by 9:00 Sunday morning--eastern USA). Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.  
               
  This week's snippet is from a scifi short story working title: "Sporulators".

Here we go...


There could be a lot of reasons why planet Greenleyone was silent, and Captain Lukarhiah Eastwold suspected  none of them were good.  He tried to keep the impatience out of his voice when he asked, “Lars, did you find out anything? Any communication noted by passing craft?”
The pudgy man looked away from his thinker screen, pushed his glasses up on his nose, then glanced Luke’s way. “Nothing yet, but I’m still searching the manifests and logs of the most recent ships that passed by.  You know, Eastwold, it’s not uncommon for distant settlement worlds to go silent for extended lengths of time. They do have things to do other than chatting up passing craft.”
“Because you know so much about the backwaters of space, right?” Luke had hauled a lot of different types around this godforsaken part of the universe, but this guy, ‘Chief Agronomist’  Lars Stinson, was a real piece of work.  His PhD had to be in Arrogance.

  What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

36 comments:

  1. Uh-oh, sounds like maybe these two shouldn’t be stuck in a small space with each other!

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    1. Yep. Not exactly well matched. :-)

      Thanks for visiting!

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  2. The opening line is absolutely perfect! It gives so much information and yet raises so many questions! The last line was wonderful too. :) I get the captain completely just from this.

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    1. I am so glad you got the Captain from this snippet. He has a few more layers. Deep space, well beyond any kind of civilization can be a weird place...

      Thanks for visiting!

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  3. Ooh, interesting stuff here! Can't wait for more, enjoyed the snippet.

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    1. Thanks, Jean! Part of my writing goals for this year--finish this short story and send it off. If nothing by the end of the year, then self-publish and learn that process. I have gotten so far off the writing track... Thanks for visiting!

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  4. This is an enticing start! In just a few sentences it promises a rough ride ahead :)

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    1. Yeah, rough ride. They are so much fun to write--the way they torment each other just by proximity!

      Thanks for stopping, Ian!

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  5. This sucked me right in. Great set-up of both inner and outer conflict.

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  6. Fantastic snippet that hooked me instantly!

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  7. Yes, although I'd agree that colonists might have other things on their minds - but that's what Luke needs to know.

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  8. Great first line... and you followed it right through with a fun character conflict. Nice.

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  9. I don't know if this was the was the reaction you were looking for, but this snippet had me chuckling (in a good way.) Great snippet, Reesie!!

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    1. Oh, he does come across as funny, and as angry. The two really don't like each other. Eastwold has military in his background, not academia, and Lars is his polar opposite. :-) They both have some growing to do...and they are fun to write. Thanks for visiting!

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  10. Very exciting 1st sentence. Loved the last line, too.

    I forgot to sign up in time, but I did post. http://dianeburton.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks, Diane. I got you on the list. :-)

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  11. Love the tone of this snippet, Teresa, so I know I'm going to love what comes next.

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  12. Great hook both at the beginning and end of this snippet, sets up the tension nicely with a slice of foreshadowing that there's going to be trouble ahead!

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    1. Thanks, Hywela! :-) Yep... trouble coming. :-)

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  13. Immediately captured my attention, and I loved that last line.

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    1. Thanks, Elaine! It was not in the original manuscript. It arrived while I was polishing it for wewriwa. :-)

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  14. I didn't know you could get a PHD in Arrogance - lol. Love the last line.
    Great start.
    Tweeted.

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    1. Thanks, Daryl! Maybe in the future (the setting of this story) you will be able to. ;-)

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  15. That last line made me smile. :) I kind of agree, radio silence is suspicious, especially if it's unusual.

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    1. Yep. Silence is a bad sign in this case. :-) Thanks, Caitlin!

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  16. You've simply got to tell me: where can I get an online degree in Arrogance?

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    1. Lolol...well, Ed, the first thing we have to do is invent a time travel machine to move ahead into the setting of this story. lol

      Thanks!

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  17. You captured my attention. I'm intrigued to know more.

    I happened to glance at Ed's comment. Love it! lol

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    1. That Ed--ain't he somethin'??? ;-)

      Thanks, Karen :-)

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  18. Oh, I love the tension you've created between the two of them in this snippet! Well done! :)

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