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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Weekend Writing Warriors April 15, 2018






It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor".  Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is with Theusand. He's not a slaver--and he saved Lily, sort of.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            Lily thought she'd gotten away from the slavers, but Dev Areen (in charge of slaves) has appeared before them and Theusand and the Bulrager are having a tense exchange.

Last week's snippet ended with: "The Sand's anger washed Lily again. Her legs shook so hard they barely held her.  
Please forgive wonky punctuation--to stay within guidelines. 
This week's excerpt. The Sand speaks first:


Standing? You dare question my authority? I am Theusand Dhor. And Lily of Earth is of the I-tellekt.” He looked the poor Captain in the eye; the man appeared to shrink away from the contact. 
Lily had been there before, unable to pull her own gaze away;  she understood.
Theusand said, “Welcome to Lily’s mind.”

Just like that, the two men crowded her thoughts.  The Sand words were a silent command. “Lily, tell the Captain what Dev Areen did to you.”


That's it. All opinions greatly appreciated. :-) Thank you so much for visiting and for reading!

28 comments:

  1. Having two men in your mind must be very disconcerting! Can't wait to see what she tells him exactly. This should be good. Great snippet!

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    1. Oh my--one man in my head would drive me bonkers. lol.

      Seriously, another person crowding in my head (male or female)would be nearly unbearable. I pray we humans always have the privacy of our own thoughts.

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  2. Julie Evelyn JoyceApril 15, 2018 at 10:15 AM

    The 'Welcome to Lily's mind' bit made me think of it as theme park. But to understand that, you'd need a first class ticket into my mind, where the fun never stops lol. Great excerpt, Teresa!

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    1. lol-- Now there's an idea for a story. The amusement park mind.

      Then again, maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night. ;-)

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  3. I can't imagine one person in my mind let alone 2. How awful for her.

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    1. It is. In her situation, I'd be in trouble all the time. :-)

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  4. Interesting. Sounds like Theusand feels he is on solid ground here with whatever he's trying to accomplish. I missed whatever it was that Dev Areen did, but presumably it broke some rules somewhere. That "special" contract still bothers me though. What if it allows Dev Areen to do what he did?

    BTW - are you anywhere near needing beta readers for this story?

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    1. You are wise to be bothered about that special contract. The first of many...

      I am months away from needing beta readers. Ian. I know what the ending is, but am still working my way toward writing The End.

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  5. Sounds like Lily has a real problem with 2 people crowding her thoughts.

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  6. Oh, dear. I would immediately begin thinking bad, embarrassing thoughts. I hope Lily can hold her own in this situation. Hope you get to write The End soon 'cause I want to read this.

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    1. Haha! I think I would too, Alexis. Lily is not without cringe-worthy exposure in her thoughts. :-)

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  7. Gah, I wouldn't want anyone in my head! I wonder what she'll say, and what the consequences will truly be...

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    1. I'll follow through this entire scene. :-)

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  8. Well it would have been nice of him to give her a little warning or ask her if she wanted her mind invaded but hey, he's Theusand! Terrific snippet!

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    1. He is truly rattles--which is nothing he has experience with. Theusand Dhor is his great uncle, and a force to be reckoned with. A mighty force...

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  9. What an awkward situation for her to be in. I don't know if I'd be able to say/think anything at that moment except to tell them to get out of my head. Great snippet! :)

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    1. She is sassy and tough, but suddenly seeing Dev Areen has her scared. She does realize that being hauled back to the slave cell lowers her odds of ever getting back home to Earth. RIght now, Theusand has cast doubt in her eyes about his professed omnipotence.

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  10. He’s trying to help her it seems, but what a terrifying situation!

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    1. He is--and she has never been this scared. It might be close to shock.

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  11. This is an unexpected way for him to deal with this issue. Its success depends on the captain sharing Theusand's outrage, but I guess a mindreader could know the captain well enough to gauge the likelihood of success.

    A question: sometimes the phase "The Sand" appears where I'd expect "Theusand." Is that a spelling corrector error, or is it significant?

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    1. I hope that in the broader context, the Captain is shown clearly to be a yes man to the powers that be. You've given me an idea for the next scene to excerpt from. Never underestimate Theusand.

      The Sand is a different form. It can be used with affection, with disdain, or as a general reference to any of the Dhors. Like you are Ed, a mister, a man, a Hoornaert. :-) Perhaps I need to make that clear in the early pages of her time with him. :-)

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  12. Having one man in your mind would be bad enough but to invite a second? No way.
    Great snippet.

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  13. I'd hate that, it makes her so vulnerable, but this is getting more and more intriguing!

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    1. Thanks, Hywela. It would drive me crazy.

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  14. He's helping, and yet what he's doing without her consent is likely hurting her, too.

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    1. Indeed. She's in a bad situation, but it's the best of all possible bad situations.

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