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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Weekend Writing Warriors April 22, 2018






It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor".  Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is with Theusand. He's not a slaver--and he saved Lily, sort of.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            The slaver, Dev Areen is demanding that Lily (he claims as his property) be returned to him. So now we have a 'test' to prove that Lily can communicate via mind to mind, therefore cannot be enslaved.

Last week's snippet ended with: "The Sand's words were a silent command. “Lily, tell the Captain what Dev Areen did to you.”  
Please forgive wonky punctuation--to stay within guidelines. 
This week's excerpt. The Sand speaks first:


  "Her head swam; was this really happening?  Whatever fragile tether to reality she had left was failing.
She concentrated on breathing, filling her lungs until her chest hurt. Then she exhaled, measured and even.  Her senses returned and images flashed through her mind.
Her words were silent, though her sobs were real enough as she narrated what she’d endured at the hands of the mad-slaver. “He beat me, he threatened sexual assault. He lifted me off of the ground by my hair. He…


That's it. All opinions greatly appreciated. :-) Thank you so much for visiting and for reading!

14 comments:

  1. Oh, I hope this works so she won't be forced to go back with him. Theusand seemed so bad at first, but now he's trying so hard to help her. Great snippet!

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  2. I hope her audience for this statement will treat her well, not just hand her back over. Such a fascinating story! I'm on the edge of my chair for sure.

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  3. Wow. A lot of emotion in this snippet. It makes me want to read more!

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  4. Hmmm, this sounds bad to us, but if their culture accepts slavery then the treatment Lily's describing so far might be nothing more than par for the course and regarded as unremarkable. Or do they have an ingrained culture of treating slaves well? There needs to be something that would be clearly out of line even to the captain of a slave ship. Wonder what that else Lily is going to describe?

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  5. I like how described her struggle to focus- that would be difficult with people poking around in your head.

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  6. Poor girl. I hope she finds her audience sympathetic and not willing to return her to the slavers. Good job.

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  7. Julie Evelyn JoyceApril 22, 2018 at 4:06 PM

    I feel so much for her in this snippet. She's so brave to share her story and I hope they treat her kindly for opening up about it. Great work!

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  8. She's blurting out everything, hopefully with the correct mental inflection!

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  9. Emotional, traumatic and totally intense. Great job, Teresa!!

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  10. Intense! I wonder if anyone will be punished because of her treatment.

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  11. What an awful experience! Poor girl, I hope Dev Avreen doesn't get her back!

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  12. Oh no, what a tragic backstory! :'(

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