Welcome to my world and beyond...

A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Friday, May 25, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday May 27th 2012





I hope that everyone is enjoying the first official weekend of summer.  And that we (Americans) all remember to pause at 3:00 P.M. on Monday, for a moment to remember those who gave their all. 

This week, back to Aaydan's Tale.  Deamante is considering the actions of a man--Gadsarapon, who claims to be his illegitimate son.

"The old ruler strolled along garden paths; the crushed pink quartzite lining them crunched beneath his expensive shoes.  Here, next to the river, thoughts became clear.   Ballsy, Gads had been ballsy. Maybe there was truth to his claim to blood.  Deamante had never before seen anyone, other than in the mirror, with quite so much moxie."

Any and all critiques, received with gratitude.

To read  six sentence snippets from other participants, click here.

31 comments:

  1. Well we're about to enter into Winter here in the land of Oz, so I am somewhat envious of your warmer weather. :-)

    Nice six. I liked the description of the path and the way you managed to describe the scene clearly in so few words. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for taking the time to read it--and then leaving a comment, Goran :-)

      Delete
    2. And...how wintry does it get there--in the land of Oz? I love that description of your part of the world, by the way. :-)

      Delete
    3. We don't get a lot in the way of snow in Melbourne where I'm from but it does get cold. Well by cold I mean 3 or 4 degrees celsius (37F) so its not super cold compared to some parts of the world but cold enough if you're not used to it :-)

      Delete
    4. :-) That sure sounds like winter. I have friends who live in the very southern USA, and it sounds a lot like their winter. We had mild weather last winter season. Only a couple of feet (less than a meter) of snow from October to April. Typically, we have about a meter and a half. I don't think our ground ever froze solidly. Odd one for us. :-)

      Delete
  2. I really enjoy the cocky attitude in the second paragraph. Very well done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Teresa, congrats on the Creative award, I've reached you via the Botanist and I thought I'd say Hi. You have a friendly and interesting place here :)>. Kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, unikorna. The Botanist writes some interesting stuff, huh? Thanks for visiting and your kind words. Nice to "meet" you. :-)

      Delete
  4. The first sentence is brilliant - the description of the pink quartzite crunching - excellent! The only thing you might look at is the phrasing "thoughts became clear" - it's a little passive. Just these few sentences really capture the interest! And I love the word ballsy! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Melissa. Ugh...the dreaded passive voice that still, all too often, creeps into my words. :-) Thank you for pointing it out--and for visiting :-)

      Delete
  5. Deamante is a character I truly like, because even in being narcissistic he shows many different facets, and I suspect that to his understanding, he's evil with good reason. I'd like to find out more about him. Nicely done! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey girl!~ Good to see you. Yep--he often rationalizes the cruel things he does as being good for his Dominion--or for his nephew. He is a fun character to write.

      Makes me wonder sometimes...from where did he come? Be by to see your six in a bit! Thanks for visiting :-)

      Delete
  6. Love the phrase: "the crushed pink quartzite lining them crunched..." Hmmm... your six makes me wonder about that whole nature vs. nurture idea. Intriguing six. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point, Lorraine. Nature VS Nurture. Psychologists have been working on that for years and years...do you think it is a case by case thing? Or can they determine guidelines that will broadly cover humans? Thanks for visiting. Your six was great this week!! :-)

      Delete
  7. Great six! Makes me wonder if he's feeling proud or just wants to take credit. I'm not sure if I like Deamante and that's always a good sign. Points to good writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Kate. Made my day. You see the complexity of his character! Thanks for visiting :-)

      Delete
  8. Hi Teresa. You've got a very evocative six this week. Yeah, I wonder which way his feelings will swing. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Owllady! Thrills me to have my writing make people wonder :-)

      Delete
  9. I haven't heard the word moxie in ages! Great choice. Sounds appropriate. This would be a tough story to write, so emotional. Good six!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, so much, Carrie! The emotions must be trickling through :-)

      Delete
  10. Ooh, I like a man with moxie! Great 6, Teresa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Ann! :-) He is full of moxie, but rather tragic. :-)

      Delete
  11. Oh, I so love that word moxie! There's so much to it! Very intriguing 6!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, LJ. It is not often used anymore. I am fond of it too. Thanks for visiting! :-)

      Delete
  12. Very intriguing six -- I like that he's admiring somebody that he considers to be much like himself. :) That says a lot about his character.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Donna. Thanks for your kind words. It is an art, yes? Putting as much character into our characters as we can ;-)

      Delete
  13. Love how elegantly you've set up what appears to be a powerful rivalry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Monica! Powerful rivalry, indeed. :-)

      Delete
  14. Great peek into his head here and how he comes around to his conclusion...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Angela. Writing has to be the coolest thing in existence...the things we writers get to do!

      Thanks for visiting. :-)

      Delete