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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors: July 7, 2013



Welcome, warriors!  And welcome to SnipSuns and anyone else who wanders in. Holy cow--It's almost July! All that's left of June is the whining that it flew by so fast!

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog-hop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at Weekend Writing Warriors, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between 12:00 noon Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST.  Then we visit each other, read, comment, critique, encourage--all those great things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Set up:  This week follows immediately after last week's post which is HERE (if you want to read it). Marissa is homeless and delusional. She keeps a journal of how her dreams make her feel, and her feelings about her daily struggles often get into the journal, too.  Keeping the journal is at the request of a church volunteer counselor, Rayanne. Izzy is at the desk of the shelter during the night shift. This is the transition between Marissa staying at a homeless shelter for women, and moving on to a better arrangement.

*note   You might encounter creative punctuation :-)




Anyway, I guess it doesn't matter why, just that I sure am glad  Izzy was able to wake me because there was a good day waiting for me. I don't have to tell you why, Rayanne, but I do want to tell you thanks again for being in my corner and making this happen. The room in the church-house is more than I could ever have hoped for. Having my own space with a bed, and a desk where I can write in this journal is, well, I keep looking over my shoulder to check if someone is peeking at what I'm writing. Privacy is something I'll have to get used to again. I'm not complaining about it. I'll never take privacy for granted again. I'll never take a lot of things for granted again.

That's it.  What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!  Sundays are extra busy for me right now, so it might take me several days to return visits, but I will. Have a great week, all!

52 comments:

  1. I love that first sentence. She sounds so uncertain as well as guardedly happy. It's a lovely snippet and has me rooting for her instantly.

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  2. Great stuff, Teresa. Powerful emotions here; I can picture her wiping tears away as she writes. Your word choices are so realistic! It reads like it either flowed out easily for you, or you spent weeks tweaking it :-D Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Haha! flowed easily...or weeks tweaking?? I'm confused and I think maybe it was a bit of both. ;-) lol.

      I must admit, writing first person comes incredibly easy to me. I never imagined...

      Thanks, Marcia! :-)

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  3. That's a very bittersweet snippet. Lots of good, raw emotion is hidden in those words. I love it!

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  4. I like the flow of this. It sounds very realistic.

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    1. Thanks, Eleri! Good words to read :-)

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    2. Thanks, Eleri! Wonderful words to hear. :-)

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  5. Wonderful insight into her here, I really feel like I'm in her head.

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    1. Cool! That's right where I want you to be. Thanks, Lauren. :-)

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  6. This was quite a change of pace, as I missed last week's excerpt. Went back to read it. What a surprise and ultimately fascinating! You certainly have captured the intense emotions felt by Marissa. Great writing, Teresa!

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    1. Thanks, Debbie. The story has several layers, and it's been a bit of a monster to grapple with deciding that I needed to write different layers with different POVs. ~sigh~ I wish my mom was alive to see where it's going. :-)

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  7. I felt compassion for her when she said, "The room in the church-house is more than I could ever have hoped for. Having my own space with a bed, and a desk where I can write in this journal is, well, I keep looking over my shoulder to check if someone is peeking at what I'm writing."

    While I don't know the whole story, it makes me really connect with this character and want to know what she's writing about in her journal! Nice writing, Teresa!

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    1. Thank you, Susan! Come back. I'm going to post from this one until I have it edited and ready to pub! :-)

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  8. I was totally bummed that she was homeless and delusional but I'm hanging in there with her! Terrific snippet!

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    1. Please, hang in there with her. She goes through hell on earth looking for the truth of her missing two years and her missing newborn. :-)

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  9. Felt very real. :-( My heart goes out to her.

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    1. Thanks, Karysa. I'm glad you empathized with her! :-)

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  10. Some things we take so much for granted.

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    1. That we do...all of us. Thanks for visiting, Sue Ann :-)

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  11. She's very earnest. And I'm still not sure how delusional she really is.

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    1. You are a very wise girl, Sarah! :-) Thank you :-)

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  12. Privacy, definitely not something to take for granted. I love how honest she sounds. Great snippet.

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    1. Thanks, SJ. Yes, honest to a fault. :-)

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    1. :-) <--- Big smile. Thanks, Elaine. :-)

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  14. This snippet flows really well, as if we're reading a letter just to us!

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    1. Cool! I'm glad you think that, Gemma. That's the intention! :-)

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  15. Wonderful snippet! I love her cautious hopefulness, and her gratitude for things she took for granted previously. I like her a lot. :)

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  16. I love her concern for continued privacy. I can imagine it wasn't very private before. Nicely done, Teresa. :)

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  17. Very nice! Privacy is sooo important!

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    1. Thanks, Ann. Yes, especially for us writers ;-)

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  18. I went back to last weeks too. :) Wow, so the world where she is fighting is her dream state. Talk about deep stuff here. I see the parallel with her daily real world struggles. Very, very interesting Teresa, and complex!

    History Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders

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    1. It is complex, Cindy, and challenging to pull off. I hope I'm up to it, now. I sure wasn't before. :-) Thanks for visiting and for your encouragement. :-)

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  19. Teresa,
    This was a sad, yet hopeful and intriguing snippet. Doubt, uncertainty of the beginning flow nicely into the joy of having some privacy.

    Very nicely done. Certainly am curious about the MC and her situation.

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    1. Thanks, Susan. I'd never written first person before. It's amazing what you can put out there. Fascinating, fun...challenging.

      Thanks for your encouragement. :-)

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  20. What a poignant, insightful scene showing her sincere gratitude for the delivery of something most people do take for granted.

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    1. Thanks, Sam. I'm glad it's making readers think. :-)

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  21. So many emotion and excitement going on here, really nice snippet.

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  22. This "8" makes me think of the many homeless people that I have cared for as a psychiatric nurse. How I wish they could all have good days. The privacy comment also rings a bell. Today I Skyped my daughter-in-law in Paris while other people were still around me because of a time factor. When I finished someone asked, "Oh is your daughter-in-law in France?" "Are the boys with her?" "Is your son there?" "What is she doing there?" I was too polite to say, "It is none of your business" so I answered the questions. But anyway, I can really appreciate Marissa's privacy comment.

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  23. Thanks, Carol. I've never been homeless, so I'm trying to put my head there and imagine the things a homeless person loses, other than the obvious.

    Kudos to you for being polite. Why do people feel entitled to know things that they really have no business knowing? I'd never... But that's the way I was brought up.

    Thanks for your wonderful comment. It means so much to me--that I'm steering in a good direction. :-)

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  24. The touch with the privacy was nice. Made me instantly see how dire things had been.

    Enjoy your summer!

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  25. Lovely eight. I just wanna hug that girl...

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    1. Thanks, Millie. :-) Glad She connected with you. ;-)

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  26. You do a great job with character voice. Excellent snippet.

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