Weekend Writing Warriors March 30, 2014

 

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in. The last Sunday in March! Can you believe it?

I want to mention -- in case you've missed it on wewriwa.com, that we have promotional spaces on our right sidebar. These are free, and are given out for two months at a time to regular participants. The only thing we ask is that you've posted four out of the last five weeks prior to requesting a spot. The link is to the Amazon book/buy page only. As a rule we take the book cover image right from the Amazon book's page. If you're interested, email us at wewriwa@yahoo.com We're getting ready to switch them out. If you don't make it on this month, we'll add your name to a running list for the promotions. We'll assign them in the order requests are received. :-)
 
Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
Set up. Kad, with his friend Drave (the enforcer) has taken Tayden to a world called Shantar to hide him from Dominions thugs and henchmen. They are negotiating with the Port operator for a small boat and driver to haul them upriver--into a mountainous, wilderness area. They've just asked the Port operator to find who is willing to accept a late fare--hauling them in the dark.

  
     After the operator vanished into a backroom, they listened to him contacting people on what was probably an old radio-wave set. He tried to coax several different river drivers to take the fare, but when he came back to the counter, he could have skipped saying out loud whether it was aye or nay. "Sorry, fellas, not a thing I can do. It'll be, at best, four hours until a driver's available."
     He looked down, away from their faces toward where his hands fidgeted on top of the list, and added, “Extra risky, going so late. It’s the last of the waning quarter, barely a sliver. You don’t even have moonlight to guide your way. The driver said to tell you, if you really have to go tonight it’ll cost extra.”

That's it. Whatever jumps out at you, good or bad, I'd love to hear. I need to hear it. And I'm truly grateful for every bit of criticism. I do learn from it. Have a great week, everyone

Wordless Wednesday

Shhhhh, Let's get wordless...

 

To see more photos from the Wordless Wednesday participants, click HERE 

Have a great Wednesday, all! :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: March 23, 2014

 

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in. Here's to the end of winter. Don't know about where you are, but this year, in my neck  of the woods, it's hanging on until at least the end of meteorological winter. It will get here. Just blink and we'll be griping about how hot it is and how many bugs there are. :-)
 
Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

Set up. Kad, with his friend Drave (the enforcer) has taken Tayden to a world called Shantar to hide him from Dominions thugs and henchmen. They are negotiating with the Port operator to get a small boat to haul them upriver--into a mountainous, wilderness area.

The Port operator speaks first:

     "Well, this time of year, don't you know, most of the river drivers are home, harvesting crops. If told a day ahead, they'll set aside the time..." His husky voice faded as he looked around at the three of them, his eyes coming to rest where Tayden's face hid in the shadow of his hood. Whatever thoughts swirled in his head, though, he kept to himself. "I can ask, but if I were a betting man, my coins would be on not a single one of them showing up till after he's finished  his day's harvest, eaten a good supper, and rested a bit."
     Perhaps it was the silence on Kad's part that caused the stocky operator's brows to pinch as he shifted from foot to foot. The man lifted a calloused hand that looked like rough, worn leather, swiped it across his bald head, then scratched and rubbed his ear.
     Kad followed the direction of the operator's gaze to a list on the counter, then intentionally softened his voice when he said, "We'd appreciate it if you'd go ahead and see who's willing to take a run after sundown." 
That's it. Whatever jumps out at you, good or bad, I'd love to hear. I need to hear it. And I'm truly grateful for every bit of criticism. I do learn from it. Have a great week, everyone

Wordless Wednesday

Shhhh... Let's get wordless...

To see photographs by other wordless wednesday participants, please visit HERE

Weekend Writing Warriors March 16, 2014

 

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in.
 
Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

     Wind blasted grit and dust into them, whipping their coattails and anything else that wasn't strapped down. Kad pushed stray hairs off his face then put his hand above his eyes, shading them from the low-hanging sun. Still, he squinted as he took advantage of his height, scanning the landing zone, the low brush, and a scattering of small trees along its fringes. 

     He nodded toward a small cluster of buildings, little more than shacks. The word, "Port", scrawled above a door in thick, red letters identified it as their destination. More statement than question, he uttered, "Shantar sure is an outback-excuse-for-a-world, don't you think?"

      Across the paved lot, they stepped inside. Kad skipped introductions in spite of the questioning look from the Port operator. "We need to get upriver--what d'ya have available?"
    

That's it. Whatever jumps out at you, good or bad, I'd love to hear. I need to hear it. And I'm truly grateful for every bit of criticism. I do learn from it. Have a great week, everyone--and don't forget to stand your egg on end on Thursday at 12:57 PM. 

   

 

Weekend Writing Warriors March 9, 2014

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in.
Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
 
I really hope you'll share your opinion about this week's change up. Without further ado, I give you the opening lines of Chapter 2. This follows immediately after Crinda has fled from the ruler's home with the newborn child.  I have a question following the excerpt, if you have the time to share your thoughts. Creative (very) punctuation in use.

Chapter 2

Late in the day, Kadrick, Tayden, and Drave stepped off of the unmarked shuttle onto the rich soil of a Shantar river valley. Drave, a bear of a man led the way-- his dark hair and even darker eyes were almost as intimidating as his height and breadth. The big man's posture and gait lent some reassurance to Kadrick, following a close second, as he squared his shoulders and walked tall to convey anything but the insecurities and guilt he felt.

     Tayden, shoulders slumped, brought up the rear, appearing almost timid as he stepped gingerly.  His tall, slender frame appeared even taller in the long, brown, hooded coat he wore. 

     Kad pushed his thick, blonde braid back over his shoulder before turning around and tugging at Tayden's hood. In hushed tones, he warned, “Keep your hood up, and forward…like that...we don’t need anyone getting a look at your face.” Then, patting his pocket—an automatic response to possible threat, he glanced up at Drave who mirrored the action, an ever so subtle answer to an unspoken question; both of their weapons were ready to silence any unwanted attention.     

 

Departure, a complete departure from the first chapter. Chapter one served to introduce the reader to the main character, allowing the reader to witness his birth, and to establish the crux of the story, that the boy is unwanted, unacceptable, a savage, and has to flee for his life. This chapter picks up when that newborn has grown into a young adult. Knowing that, as a reader, do you think that what I've called chapter 1, thus far, might be better called "Prologue"? Would it be less confusing to you?
  Thank you all so much for your help, comments, criticisms, suggestions, and encouragement.

Shhhh... let's get wordless...

To see photos by other Wordless Wednesday participants, click HERE

Have a happy Wednesday!

Weekend Writing Warriors: March 2, 2014

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in.

March...the month of mud. Mud might actually be preferable to what's coming. Another round of snow and cold. If you are in the path of winter storm Titan, be safe!

Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"The ruler, Deamante, has just become a father.  The unthinkable has happened--the child was born unacceptable, and Deamante believes this is because the new mother, his mate Rella, cheated on him. The healer then asked Deamante if he wants to do away with it. "It" being the newborn. He said yes, but wants to wait to make it public.  He left, along with the healer and the aides, leaving Rella and her sister, Crinda, alone in the birth  room. Rella believes she'll be safe if she remains, that Deamante loves her too much to harm her, but has asked Crinda, to flee to safety with the newborn. This is now in Crinda's POV.  This ends chapter 1.

To see a compilation of snippets previously posted from this chapter, click HERE.
  
Creative punctuation warning. 
 
As silently as twilight fades into darkness, she slipped from the room into the hallway, and then down the servants’ stairs. Over the pounding of her heart, she heard the echoing footsteps of hard boots. There was a rhythm to the step, like a church bell's warning when it tolls certain tragedy. The knell-like footfalls faded behind her as Crinda stepped outside into the final raindrops of the retreating storm. A bitter thought gripped her; one storm was ending as a new one began. She hurried along, putting distance between the baby and the executioner.

Next week, I'll be staying with this story, moving on to chapter 2. I hope for brutal honesty from anyone reading this story, snippet by snippet.

Thank you all so much for your help, comments, criticisms, suggestions, and encouragement. I think chapter 1 is nearly ready to file away as good to go. :-)