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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors March 30, 2014

 Weekend Writing Warriors



Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in. The last Sunday in March! Can you believe it?


I want to mention -- in case you've missed it on wewriwa.com, that we have promotional spaces on our right sidebar. These are free, and are given out for two months at a time to regular participants. The only thing we ask is that you've posted four out of the last five weeks prior to requesting a spot. The link is to the Amazon book/buy page only. As a rule we take the book cover image right from the Amazon book's page. If you're interested, email us at wewriwa@yahoo.com We're getting ready to switch them out. If you don't make it on this month, we'll add your name to a running list for the promotions. We'll assign them in the order requests are received. :-)
 
Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

Set up. Kad, with his friend Drave (the enforcer) has taken Tayden to a world called Shantar to hide him from Dominions thugs and henchmen. They are negotiating with the Port operator for a small boat and driver to haul them upriver--into a mountainous, wilderness area. They've just asked the Port operator to find who is willing to accept a late fare--hauling them in the dark.

  

     After the operator vanished into a backroom, they listened to him contacting people on what was probably an old radio-wave set. He tried to coax several different river drivers to take the fare, but when he came back to the counter, he could have skipped saying out loud whether it was aye or nay. "Sorry, fellas, not a thing I can do. It'll be, at best, four hours until a driver's available."
     He looked down, away from their faces toward where his hands fidgeted on top of the list, and added, “Extra risky, going so late. It’s the last of the waning quarter, barely a sliver. You don’t even have moonlight to guide your way. The driver said to tell you, if you really have to go tonight it’ll cost extra.”

That's it. Whatever jumps out at you, good or bad, I'd love to hear. I need to hear it. And I'm truly grateful for every bit of criticism. I do learn from it. Have a great week, everyone

52 comments:

  1. I love the setting, and the details you can pouring on as the story develops. Keep 'em coming, Teresa! =D

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  2. Wow, extra risks right at the start, sounds like fun.

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  3. Driving at night without the moonlight to help makes this even harder. I wonder who's going to step up and take the fare. Nice details!

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  4. Extra cost, I should have expected that! Nice continuing scene. Just enough detail for me to feel like I'm right there, not so much that I gloss over. What'll the guys do now??

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    1. Thank goodness for not glossing over. I'm a skimmer too if it gets too tedious with details. Thanks for visiting, Marcia. :-)

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  5. Love it, as usual. Great visuals, tensions and mystery. The sliver moon adds that extra bit of shiver.

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    1. Thanks, Alexis. I like it when a reader picks up on a tiny detail. :-)

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  6. I like the details and I have to say I have a feeling of foreboding building up about this trip. Way cool, great snippet!

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  7. extra risky == extra intriguing! can't wait until the next snippet!

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  8. "It'll cost extra..." - ain't that always the way? Great way to up the stakes.

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  9. Extra cost does imply there's a possibility of getting someone. ( I'd love to put up Tourist Trap if I can ever get Amazon to be reasonable about the Kindle price.)

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    1. Correct, Sue Ann. :-)

      The other admins and I had a discussion about this. New rules will be posted in the next day or two. Please, send us an email to wewriwa at yahoo.com and we'll put your name on the list. :-)

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  10. I like the implication of dangers in the dark.

    Great as always, Teresa!

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  11. It looks like they are going to be heading into something most of us wouldn't ant to handle, I'm assuming they can. I'm going ot follow this along and see what happens.

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    1. Thanks, Chelle! Glad you're following! :-)

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  12. Tense interaction. I'm thinking the operator thinks somethings up.
    The Murders of Polly Frisch

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    1. Well, he's a local, and there' still a lot of possible ways this can go. ;-) Thanks for visiting, Cindy :-)

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  13. You know the movie scene's where the woman goes down the basement steps and you want to shout, "Don't go there." That's the feeling I have-a sense of foreboding set up so well by you. To Be Continued next week.

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    1. It'd big change, for sure. And until Tayden is safely tucked away in the mountains, they have to fear everyone. Thanks for visiting, Charmaine. :-)

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  14. Yep, hazard pay! And for some reason I don't think it's other humans the drivers are concerned about running into.

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  15. Money will always get you what you want, even in fiction. Great snippet.

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  16. Of course someone's available...for a few extra pennies. Love it, and as always, anxiously await more!

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  17. It was bound to cost more, but might be worth paying, well written snippet.

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  18. Money talks. Still, there's something scary going on. I get a sense of foreboding here.

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    1. Intuition? In a few paragraphs, they'll actually talk about how money talks. lol! Thanks for visiting, Elaine!,

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  19. I have a feeling they're going to pay the extra charge and go for it... and that will be a bad decision, won't it? Can't wait to find out!

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    1. I can't tell, but I'll continue to post from this chapter. :-) Thanks so much for visiting, Sandra! :-)

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  20. That's a pretty bad predicament to be in. Sounds even worse then when the city bus I took to school was late or never showed up in bad weather.

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    1. Oh my, I can't imagine. I grew up in a rural area, on a farm, and still live in that rural area. Our farm lane was 1/2 mile long, so when it rained, we were soaked when the school bus came. Somehow, I think it was worse when we were riding the bus home in pouring rain, or blowing snow, and knew we had a half mile walk waiting on us :-) Thanks for visiting!

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  21. I don't know if I've said this before but I love how smoothly your writing flows. There's never anything that trips me up between dialogue, description, action. It's so nice and tightly woven together.

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    1. Eleri, thank you so, so much. It really means a lot to know that! I respect your opinion--and know that it's coming from a talented writer and a kind person. :-)

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  22. As soon as he looked away from them and started fidgeting, I had the feeling he was going to try to get more money. Very nice showing!

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    1. Cool--you called that one! Thanks, Naomi! :-)

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  23. Tension is rife in the air. The operator's anxiousness almost jumps off the pages. I don't trust him (or the driver who's offering to go if they pay extra). If I were them, I would wait but... they're not going to wait, are they?

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    1. Well, lol, Kad is awfully sensible. But I'm glad this chapter has some intrigue. Thanks for visiting, Elyzabeth :-)

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  24. A good snippet. My only comment is charging extra won’t make it any less dangerous. So the drivers are willing to risk their lives for extra money but if the trip does not go well they won’t receive it anyway. And I don’t think the trip will go well..

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    1. All noted, Susan--and I thank you form the bottom of my heart for the helpful words. :-)

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  25. Show me the money!! Doesn't it figure there's always a price. Enjoyed the snippet. :)

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  26. Loved the heightened emotion in the scene :-)

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