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A collection of snippets of the books I write and, occasionally, my life and the things that inspire my writing...

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors: April 6, 2014

 Weekend Writing Warriors



Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns, and anyone else who wanders in. Happy April. To judge by our rain this week, May will be full of flowers. :-)


Are you doing the A to Z Challenge? If so, please leave a comment so know to visit you! :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

Set up. Kad, with his friend Drave (the enforcer) has taken Tayden to a world called Shantar to hide him from Dominions thugs and henchmen. They are negotiating with the Port operator for a small boat and driver to haul them upriver--into a mountainous, wilderness area. They've just asked the Port operator to find who is willing to accept a late fare--hauling them in the dark. They've just been warned that it'll cost extra. Creative punctuation alert. :-)
     
     Kad sidestepped to block the operator’s view of where Drave stood looking dark and menacing. "We’re good for it.”
     “It’ll be cash up front, and not here-- at the boat.”
     Kad nodded at the operator. The tightness in his neck and shoulders eased as he stepped away from the counter. The risk level remained high, but maybe not quite so high as it had been. This man had just shown his hand, so to speak, revealing that this hire wasn’t being handled in any kind of official way.  But that was no kind of guarantee that all three of their bodies wouldn’t wind up floating face down  in the river.  

That's it. Whatever jumps out at you, good or bad, I'd love to hear. I need to hear it. And I'm truly grateful for every bit of criticism. I do learn from it. Have a great week, everyone

38 comments:

  1. Who to trust? I guess looking suitably dark and menacing is a good way to lessen the risk, though :)

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  2. By the way I like how you introduce each snippet. Not everyone does.I liked how you showed kad’s tension ease

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    1. Thanks Susan. I like to read an intro, too, so that's how I do it. :-)

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  3. Good stuff, shady, suspenseful, sets things up nicely for some more trouble. Great stuff, Teresa!

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  4. I can sense that high risk. In situations like this, trust goes out the window. Intriguing snippet. Unfortunately, I'm not participating in the A to Z challenge this year.

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    1. Awe, maybe next year, Frank. It is such a time-suck! Thanks for your kind words. :-)

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  5. Oh wow, nice job...wondering if there's gonna be trouble on the boat. Sort of hoping there is. As a reader am I just as mean as the writer????

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  6. Continuing the tension! This excerpt really shows why writers need to slow down sometimes and let atmosphere develop. If you'd rushed through this, we wouldn't get the dark-alley-at-midnight sense of foreboding that comes through.

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    1. Yep, it's a scary time. Thanks for visiting :-)

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  7. Loads of tension there, and risk. This trip better be worth it, cause it is surely going to cost quite a bit...and maybe not just in terms of cold, hard cash. I definitely want to know more.

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    1. Woot! (That you want to know more) Thanks, Garrison. :-)

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  8. What a dire situation! but I like that Kad is so level headed and knows the risks. Excellent excerpt!

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    1. Yep, he is and does. Thanks, Veronica! :-)

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  9. So intriguing. I love all the tension underlying the calm surface. Great job.

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  10. I wonder what danger they are heading into, your snippet(s) are really building to something major. Good tension.

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  11. Money under the table and just maybe safe passage. Remember stories beginning with, "It was a dark and stormy night."? Not good enough to build on unless the writer has the skill to paint a picture of foreboding. Shakespeare always comes to my mind when I'm about to journey into dark water. Exceptional, Teresa.

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    1. Oh my goodness, the dark and stormy night. Have you ever entered that contest? The Bulwer-Lytton? Too funny. :-) Kad is smart and Drave is tough and savvy. Tayden should be okay. :-)

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    1. Perhaps. :-) Thanks for visiting, Sue Ann.

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  13. Being on the down-low is good, floating down the river in pieces in bad . . .

    I can't wait to see where they're going!

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    1. :-) Thanks, Sarah! I'm going to keep on rolling through this chapter. :-)

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  14. Uh-oh. The tension is building. I hope they don't end up as floating corpses. Looking forward to next week! Great snippet, Teresa!

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    1. Thanks, Elyzabeth! Kad is smart and Drave is tough and savvy. :-)

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  15. Good job of building tension. Even though the trip is dangerous, as well as the boat's driver, sounds like they're going anyway. I'm guessing trouble ensues!

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  16. Very nice tension! I bet they have trouble in store for them.

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    1. Trouble comes... the trouble is ruling the Dominion, and it's just getting started. Thanks for visiting! :-)

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  17. I hope they find a safe passage, or are able to get away safely if trouble breaks out en route.

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  18. Great snippet, definitely catches interest! :D

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  19. Great tension in this scene! And Kad kind of oozes masculinity. :D

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  20. He does. He was such a cool character to write. :-) Thanks, Gem. :-)

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