Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
This
is Chapter 2 from my SFR WIP, ATNS, called "The Hunter" where we're
introduced to the male main character, Kuylrh--second in line to the throne in the Rialtan Empire. They're
preparing for a hunt on a remote world called Tazulta. Kuylrh has just finished a short prayer.
Last week's 8 ended with this:
"Then he stepped back into his hiding place with his back pressed against the rock."
That's it. What works. What doesn't? I'm grateful for every comment you leave. :-) "Then he stepped back into his hiding place with his back pressed against the rock."
We pick up from there:
"His
thoughts swirled as they had for months now. This hunt on Tazulta was a deserved
celebration. The more he thought about it, though, this celebration wasn't exactly
anomalous; there had been a whole, long string of them. And he guessed that was at the root of his grandfather’s anger.
But in this situation, who wouldn’t have done the same? Too soon he’d be forced to take a mate and do his duty for the throne. Celebration my ass."
But in this situation, who wouldn’t have done the same? Too soon he’d be forced to take a mate and do his duty for the throne. Celebration my ass."
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Have a great week, all!
I hope he can relax and enjoy the hunt, instead of being so preoccupied by heavier thoughts. And maybe he'll like his future mate.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Carrie-Anne. I think he will.
Deletewow, terrific line "Too soon he’d be forced to take a mate and do his duty for the throne. Celebration my ass." I guess he almost feels like his life (as he knows it) is ending. Great 8.
ReplyDeleteYes! That's exactly how he feels. I'm so glad you got that, Chelle. :-)
DeleteHe doesn't sound thrilled about taking a mate.
ReplyDeleteNot too much. Thanks for visiting, Cara. :-)
DeleteOn the brink of manhood, it's time for him to step up. The transition hurts and you've set the tone of being pushed by grandfather into robes he doesn't wish to wear right now. Just like today's kids and throughout antiquity.
ReplyDeleteAll so true, Charmaine! Thanks for visiting. :-)
DeleteYou've done a wonderful job of highlighting the difficulty of making the male transition. What a difficult situation. Wonderfully crafted as ever, Teresa.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Steven! :-)
DeleteI like the hook about him taking a mate. It makes me curious about his place in the world and what's coming up for him:)
ReplyDelete:-) Thanks, Eleri!
DeleteI love his derision and frustration. Great snippet, Teresa. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Siobhan! :-)
DeleteI like getting a glimpse of the reason behind the tension between the men and also a view of what's looming in Kuylrh's future. Another great snippet!
ReplyDeleteA challenging path. :-) Thanks for visiting, Alexis!
DeleteYou can really feel his reluctance to settle down just yet and conform to what will be expected of him. Good for him I say!
ReplyDeleteHaha! He's about to be taken down, and he's gonna like it. ;-) Thanks, Gemma!
DeleteLove it! Forced to take a mate.No love there.Can't wait to see what kind of gal will change his mind ;-)
ReplyDeleteHaha! An alien to him, but incredibly human. :-) Thanks for visiting, Sara. :-)
DeleteSo good to see you back!
"Celebration my ass" - love it! Familial duty is always such a great source of conflict :)
ReplyDeleteIt sure can be, lol. Thanks for visiting, Ian!
DeleteClearly, he's frustrated with the pressure to perform. Well done.
ReplyDeleteYes, he is. Thanks for visiting, Patricia!
DeleteI love the emotions and his lack of control over things in this snippet. However, there is something that bugs me about the first sentence, but I don't know what. I guess it feels jarring when compared to your normal writing voice.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely taking this comment to heart, Jess. I'll be giving that another look-over (probably several).
DeleteThanks for catching that!
So he's been doing a tad too much celebrating, eh? I understand the motivations though, thanks to your snippet. Terrific!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica! :-) <--Big smile!
DeleteSowing (or hunting down) those last few wild oats., huh? :)
ReplyDeleteLooks like i missed my guess about what was going on---but I like this better, Teresa!
I'm glad you like it better, Sarah! Thanks for visiting. :-)
DeleteIs he also unhappy about being forced to take a mate? Love the last line! Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteYes. Unhappy because he's searched, and he's failed to fond the right woman. Thanks, Dani!
DeleteI like the smooth flow of his thoughts - a great snippet that shows a character's attitude and voice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, PW! :-)
DeleteHe doesn't seemed to happy at being forced to choose a mate. lol Enjoyed the snippet!
ReplyDeleteNot at all. Thanks, Karen. :-)
DeleteUh oh. I doubt he wants Grandpa to be angry with him. He seems reluctant to settle down, and like everyone else, I like that last line. Great as always.
ReplyDeleteYep. It's all spinning out of control for him...right about now. :-)
DeleteSo he's a party animal, huh? And doesn't want a wife to crimp his style. Men are so the same no matter the planet. LOL Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteTill now. :-) That's about to change. :-)
Deleteforced marriages/matings, love this!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michelle! :-)
Delete