Weekend Writing Warriors: July 26, 2015

 

                 Hello, Warriors-- my favorite writers in the whole wide world. :-) Happy last Sunday in July.  I hear the collective groans. Summer is simply zooming by!  And another week has passed, so it's time for the Warriors to gather  again. :-)             

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . Today you get a good look at him, from her POV.  Last week her thoughts were filled with worry about her young son who was with her before she wound up here. The final sentence last week was: She couldn’t bear the thought that he might be here too, somewhere— with those man-eating animals.
 


We continue from there:

Willing her mind away from what she couldn't control, she busied herself with the things she could.  She gave her companion a once-over. Even though he slouched, she could tell he was a big man, the biggest man she’d ever seen. Every inch of seven feet, she guessed, maybe even taller. Broad shoulders were unmistakable in spite of being covered with battle dress from a thousand years ago—give or take a few centuries. But she was no history scholar; she could be way off that mark. What was up with his clothing?

His skin was a shade lighter than cinnamon, and the braided hair that disappeared behind his back was black as ebony. Black as ebony? Only things in fairy tales are black as ebony, except of course, ebony.

      
 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: July 19, 2015

 

                 Hello, Warriors-- my favorite writers in the whole wide world. :-) Another week has passed and it's time for the Warriors to gather  again. :-)
            

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 

This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The heroine and the hero have just met each other. She just saved his life. Now there's relative calm, and she has time to think.
 


We continue from there:

Sitting in the half-light, her heart stopped its crazy drumming and her breathing slowed. She kept going over and over what had just happened, starting with her playing hide and seek at the park with Gavin.

Gavin. Tears ran down her face while she shook her head from side to side, a denial that was fading with each passing minute. “Please baby, be alright; don’t be here, wherever the hell here is.” 

She couldn’t recall anything between hiding behind that bush, and waking up in the metal room.  It made sense that Gavin would be with her if he’d been brought here too.  Then again, nothing about this made any sense. But, she had to believe. She couldn’t bear the thought that he might be here too—here with those man-eating animals.

      
 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: July 12, 2015

 

                 Hello, Warriors-- my favorite writers in the whole wide world. :-) The sunshine here yesterday was almost unbearable. It just seemed so, so, foreign...alien even...  But I could get used to it. ;-)

Another week has passed and it's time for the Writing Warriors to gather together again. :-)
            

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 

This is Chapter 4 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . I'm jumping into the next chapter. The heroine and the hero have just met each other. The situation is life or death. He's injured and she's saving his life in this scene.
 


We continue from there:

Marissa peered into the darkness  beyond the injured man where an animal snarled. The little bit of calm she'd just managed to find was gone as quickly as it'd come. She breathed deep, willing the blood rushing in her ears to quiet; terror wasn't going to her do her any good here. She grabbed the first thing she could find-- some kind of strut or broken wall support. Jumping between the man and the beast, she screamed while she stabbed at it. Then she swung the metal bar hard into the side of its head.  Keeping the metal between her and the predator, she threatened through gritted teeth, “Get away from us! I swear to God, you’ll lose this fight!”   

The animal backed away, growling as it vanished into the darkness. Her legs trembling--barely supporting her, she slid down the wall beside the golden-eyed man. She turned toward him and acknowledged his pain-wracked look of gratitude.

      
 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)

Weekend Writing Warriors: July 5, 2015

 

                 Hello, Warriors-- my favorite writers in the whole wide world. :-) Happy July! Hard to believe. :-) Another week has passed and it's time for the Writing Warriors to gather together again. :-)
            

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
                 Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE 

This is Chapter 3 from my SFR WIP, Across The Night Sky . The heir to the throne has been abducted, and his guards are traveling in space. They've located the ship they think he's on. It looks like it was attacked. Last week ended with Dhurstan lining up their much smaller ship, to dock with the Science Culture ship. The last sentence was:
He initiated auto-dock and lifted his hands from the controls.


We continue from there:

The gaskets met. The telltale soft bump and then the thud of clamps engaging was followed by hissing as the airlock between the two crafts pressurized.

Abraxum was already double-timing it for the door.“Move! Let’s get this done. Cholethy, med kit?”  

“Got it.”

“Dhurstan, directional locator double-check—have you plugged in your best guess for the location of the ship’s command?"

“Yes. It’s already indicating.”      

 

That's it. What works? What doesn't? I'm so very grateful for any comment or criticism you leave. :-)