Weekend Writing Warriors October 1, 2017

   
            First Page Review info first.  The wewriwa linky list is once again hosting the "First Page Review" blog hop. It runs from the 1st of October through the 31st. If you missed the deadline to sign the linky list (last night at midnight), we can still add you. We'll need your information to sign you up.  
          The idea is simple--you post your first page or so--up to a thousand words. It's good promo if you've got something published that you'd like to get readers' eyes on. Or, if you share something unpublished, you get some feedback, and find out if readers would turn the page and continue reading.  Sign up here The First Page Review .
On to this week's wewriwa.
            It's time for snips and bits of amazing tales by talented writers! Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, on their own blog to go live by before 9:00 AM Sunday, EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good. 
             Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE
            This week's snippet is from "The Sands of Dhor". I've skipped ahead a couple of paras. Lily, abducted from Earth by alien slavers, is following Theusand. He's not a slaver.  He's Dhor'en; they communicate mind to mind. 
            They've left the section of the ship where he and his Chays (monks) are quartered. It's the first time she's left that deck since Lord Sand rescued her from the slave fight ring in the belly of the ship.  Their conversation has become more of a debate and he always wins--by willing her into silence. in Lily's POV, the last sentence last week was spoken by him. "“God is a concept best left for another walk, another talk.”

She mumbled through gritted teeth, “I can hardly wait to not have that conversation.”

He started walking again. When she turned and trailed behind  him, she wondered if he had summoned her like she was his dog, or if she’d automatically done it—for lack of anywhere else to go.

They passed through an area that was in stark contrast to the Sand’s quarters and the slaves’ holding cells. Instead of confined spaces, open rooms stood at opposite corners where long hallways intersected. A man who’d been at a table looking at an illuminated screen stood and hurried toward them. He bowed his head, and his eyes remained downcast when he said, “You honor us with your presence, Lord Sand. Thank you for coming so soon.”

What works and what doesn't? I'm grateful for every bit of feedback you share.

Weekend Writing Warriors: Sunday May 19th

Week 16: Why a Sword?

 Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog-hop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at Weekend Writing Warriors, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between 12:00 noon Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST.  Then we visit each other, read, comment, critique, encourage--all those great things that do a solitary writer's heart good.


Set up  This scene takes place in the  first one third of the book. Rissa is on a world that contains an all female colony led by a woman named Shaynda. Rissa and Jia have been given refuge here from Daekartha.. On this world, Amun, no men are allowed.  The residents are considered outlaws in the Rialtan Empire.  This is Rissa's earliest exposure to how to use a sword, and she's not taking it seriously at all. I'll pull from this for several weeks, continuous.

"The mighty daystar at its zenith, scorched the world around her as she wiped sweat from her face then nodded a greeting to Shaynda.

As seemed to be her way, Shaynda minced no words, “You have caught Cuylrh of Medoch’s favor, no?”

Relieved for the interruption of another half-hearted attempt to learn, she rested her sword tip on the ground, giving Shaynda her full attention.  “I 've spent some time with him, but I wouldn't don't think there is favor involved.”

“Traders and smugglers are making a nice bonus telling a tale of otherwise.” The leader’s eyes followed Rissa’s arm, down across the sword to the ground. “Sheath your sword, or hold it off the ground.” Her tone was matter of fact, “Tip down when bowing to a superior opponent is one thing, but all other times, it’s disrespectful to allow it to rest on the sand like that.”

That's it.  What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom..  Thank you so much for visiting! 

Weekend Writing Warriors: A Guard For Life...

Week 11: A Guard for life..."

Welcome Eighters! Happy springtime--I hope it feels like springtime where you are. It finally does, here.   Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog-hop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at Weekend Writing Warriors, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between 12:00 noon Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST.  Then we visit each other, read, comment, critique, encourage--all those great things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

Give it a try--we're a pretty nice bunch of people.  :-)

This week, returning to my WIP, ATNS. This takes place about a third of the way through the story.

The setup:  This snippet is from the near the middle of the book.  The reader is getting a glimpse of backstory of how things work in the Rialtan Empire, and how Abraxum came to be Cuylrh's (the young King) guard for life.


The scene started with Cuylrh leaving camp in the middle of the night, and Abraxum followed him. Cuylrh has just hit emotional rock bottom rock bottom over his grandfather's unwillingness to accept Rissa (of Earth) and he's poured out his heart to his old guard. Cuylrh knows it's decision time--leave Rissa behind and break both of their hearts, or hurt his grandfather, but he doubts his ability to withstand the wrath his grandfather will dish out-- if he chooses Rissa.

Cuylrh was raised by his grandparents. His mother  is Damonia and his father is Jaretheda. Daekartha is the High King and grandfather.

I know--confusing introducing two new characters.

Abraxum, the old guard of the group, had been Daekartha’s choice for Cuylrh.  In true Rialtan tradition, when a new King was born-- along with inheriting a world, he'd been given the most trusted guard in his father’s household.

But wise, old Daekartha, not trusting the demon heart of the newborn’s mother and the weakness of the newborn’s father, Jaretheda, had superseded his son’s choice with his own.  Any plans that Damonia may have had to control the direction of Cuylrh’s life had been thwarted by Daekartha's strategic move, appointing Abraxum as the babe’s first guard.  

It had been a world of anger and heartbreak, much like the world was once again.

Abraxum hurt for all involved.  He knew that Daekartha’s involvement had never been motivated by influence or control, but out of love, simple love for the boy.  Many had been the time  the High King proudly announced to all  that Cuylrh was the most beautiful child he had ever seen.  

That's it.  What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom..  Thank you so much for visiting! 

Note* If you are launching a book, offering one for free promotion, or  have a blogpost you'd like shared, tweet me @Teresa_Willow and I'll retweet it for you. :-)

And... Blogger is not cooperating today. Why oh why is it randomly changing my text size???