Weekend Writing Warriors: December 29, 2013

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. I hope your Christmas was wonderful, and I wish you a happy (and safe) New Year!

I didn't get around to everyone last week. Had a power outage in the morning that sent my day into a tailspin. I apologize--and will make it around this week.
Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"The ruler, Deamante, has just become a father. Crinda is the new mother's sister. They are Jumans. There is bad blood between them. The unthinkable has happened--the child was born unacceptable.  The air is thick with tension as the moments following the birth tick by.

Creative punctuation at work to stay within wewriwa's guidelines. :-)

Crinda,  narrowed her eyes and accused, “I know what you’re thinking, but you are wrong. A mightier hand than Juman has touched this child, and who understands the ways of angels, of divine messengers from the other side?” She spat on the floor and when she continued, it was as if the vilest dirt was rolling from her tongue,”You?”

Deamante had to look away from her, from all three of them. No, this wasn’t the work of a divine messenger; it was the work of a demon.  The realization of what had happened was too much. There was nothing sacred about this. It was quite the opposite-- the most unholy of acts; she had lain with a savage.

That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting! 

Weekend Writing Warriors: December 22, 2013

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. The big day is almost here.  Merry Christmas, everyone!

Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"The ruler, Deamante, has just become a father. Crinda is the new mother's sister. There is tendion between them. Rella is the new mother. The unthinkable has happened--the child was born unacceptable.  The air is thick with tension as the moments following the birth tick by.

Creative punctuation at work to stay within wewriwa's guidelines. :-)

 

Thoughts as endless as the stars shining in the heavens raced through Deamante’s mind. They all came back to this one: all that had been beautiful and wonderful in his world had simply vanished when the savage breathed its first breath. He desperately wanted to wake up from what had to be a horrible dream, and discover that the babe’s blood really wasn't tainted and unacceptable. With a growing detachment, he glanced at the wiggling bundle of new life in his mate’s arms. How could this animal have been born of her body? An Albayne! Revulsed, he pictured the stinger that was surely on the tip of its tongue. His eyes rose to meet Rella’s, and coldness swept into his heart.


That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!

I hope your Christmas is happy, and that you share it with someone you love. <3

Weekend Writing Warriors: December 8, 2013 An imperfect child.

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. Happy 2nd Sunday in December. Time to bake the fruitcake ;-) If you weathered some nasty ice, sleet, snow and rain, hope you stayed warm and dry. In the eastern USA we're getting ready for another round of it all again.

Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"The ruler, Deamante, has just become a father after a long labor with lots of tension in the birthing room. Crinda is the new mother's sister. The unthinkable has happened--the child was born unacceptable.  The air is thick with tension as the moments following the birth tick by.

Creative punctuation at work to stay within wewriwa's guidelines. :-)

 

Several long steps back from the bed, the healer fidgeted. His voice sounded tiny and frightened when he asked, “Your instructions, my Lord?”

Deamante was mum in the deafening silence of failure.

Without hesitation, Crinda picked up the child and placed him in his mother’s arms. Then she touched his face while clucking soothingly to the boy.

The baby looked up, his pale blue eyes seeming to search the world around him, and finally locking onto the face of his mother—all that stood between him and what the world deemed his fate.

She pulled him close and nuzzled him the way only a mother can when her heart has steeled to protect the new life in her arms. Even the imperfect ones are children of their mothers.

That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!

Weekend Writing Warriors: December 1, 2013

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. Happy December. Double- Yikes!  Time to think about decorating.

For all of you who took the NaNoWriMo plunge--Here's a BIG "GREAT JOB!" Whether you finished or enjoyed the attempt,, you are amazing! :-)

Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"The ruler, Deamante, has just become a father after a long labor with lots of tension in the birthing room. Heavy foreshadowing of bad things to come were in the last several snippets. The new father gets a good look at the son he has anticipated for months :-)

Vacillating between instinctive tenderness, and his sense of urgency, Deamante took the child from the healer. Were the old man’s hands trembling? Well, who wouldn’t tremble holding a miracle so tiny, so new? A random thought grasped him as he cuddled his son; were babies really made of flesh and blood, or did life begin of fragile spun-glass and magic?

He moved the blanket away from the tiny face to get a good look just as lightning splintered the wisdom tree; wood exploded against pink stone walls, shattering the window.

In that flash of brilliant light, he saw the face of a savage in his arms, lightning doubling the effect of the pale skin, colorless hair, and blue eyes ringed in violet.

He couldn’t breathe—as if the air had been sucked out of his lungs. The child fell out of his arms, dropping onto the bed beside its mother.

That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!

Weekend Writing Warriors: November 17, 2013

Welcome Warriors, and Snipsuns and anyone else who wanders in. Happy third Sunday in November. Yikes!  Almost time to bake pumpkin pies!  :-)

For all of you taking the NaNoWriMo plunge--Here's a BIG "You can do it-- GO WARRIORS! Just over half way there!" :-)

Weekend writing Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.

The Snippet Sunday group can be found HERE

This is from a WIP, a fantasy story. Working title is: "Taydan: Child Denied"The ruler, Deamante, has just become a father after a long labor with lots of tension in the birthing room. Heavy foreshadowing of bad things to come were in the last snippet HERE I've skipped a couple of paras which included the actual birth. It was a tension break, but...here we go again: Creative punctuation in use. :-)

The boy had blonde hair as pale as moonlight, so unlike his own dark brown, but a fine match for the mother’s; he was sure it would darken with age. 

The healer then cut the tie that had bound mother and son for months, and after giving him a once-over, wrapped the babe in a soft blanket.

A perfect moment, a snapshot in time... Deamante had never been so happy or so proud. He reached out to take the child, but the healer hesitated before handing the boy to him. In that moment, he saw something in the healer’s eyes, something in the man's furrowed brows,  in his lack of  joy for this birth. And it sent panic through the new father. 

That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.  Thank you so much for visiting!