Week 12: A Guard for life..."
Give it a try--we're a pretty nice bunch of people. :-)
This week, returning to my WIP, ATNS. This takes place about a third of the way through the story.
The setup: This snippet is from the near the middle of the book. The reader is getting a glimpse of backstory of how things work in the Rialtan Empire, and how Abraxum came to be Cuylrh's (the young King) guard for life.
The scene started with Cuylrh leaving camp in the middle of the night, and Abraxum followed him. Cuylrh has just hit emotional rock bottom over his grandfather's unwillingness to accept Rissa (of Earth) and he's poured out his heart to his old guard. Cuylrh explained to Abraxum that he knows it's decision time--leave Rissa behind and break both of their hearts, or hurt his grandfather, but he doubts his ability to withstand the wrath his grandfather will dish out-- if he chooses Rissa. Cuylrh was raised by his grandparents.
This is on Abraxum's (Cuylrh's old guard) POV.
"Abraxum smiled at the memory of his young King’s newborn perfection. The babe’s hair, straight and silky, so black it looked blue, and his perfectly chiseled nose and uniquely defined eye wrinkles had attested to the legitimacy of his place in line to the throne. He was a miniature version of his father…who had been a miniature version of Daekartha. The grandfather’s blood ran true.
Shifting where he sat on the rocky ground, Abraxum settled into a softer spot for his weary bones. In all the years since that wondrous day of Cuylrh’s birth, Abraxum had never failed to hear praise come from Daekartha’s lips when speaking of his grandson…until now.
He sighed, meaning it to be much quieter than the telltale heavy breath of heartache leaving him. He knew that the elder King’s pride was bruised, and his heart nearly broken in the sea of anguish threatening to engulf them all. And Abraxum wasn’t born yesterday—he also knew that with a drop of a sword, Daekartha’s anguish could turn into anger."
That's it. What jumps out at you, good or bad ? I'd love to hear it and am truly grateful for every bit of criticism, opinion, and shared wisdom.. Thank you so much for visiting!
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