Another week. It was a scorcher here. It was actually nice to hide inside--in the air conditioning. I felt no guilt leaving the great outdoors after saying, "I'm going inside to edit for a bit." :-) How was your week?
My six this week, from my WIP "Across The Night Sky", picks up exactly where last week's left off: At the request of a volunteer counselor, Marissa is keeping a journal. She struggles accepting that her dreams are not really memories of two missing years of her life--and a missing newborn.
I know this week's post runs long, but next week it will shift out of Marissa's journal into her real world. To maintain flow, I included the extra sentences, bringing this journal entry to a close.
"Sometimes in the evening, when daylight dims and windows
shine full of light—welcoming everyone but me and my kind—the homeless, I’m so
afraid. No, not afraid of the people who walk the night, and not afraid of the
other homeless people. I’m afraid to
close my eyes and dream. This world,
this other place across the night sky? It’s foreign and frightening, but I’m
drawn to it; I need it, like I need the air I breathe. I don’t know…Rayanne, I just don’t know. Which is the more terrifying
possibility? That I might be forced to
discover that my missing two years and my missing baby will turn up in the
middle of my crazy dreams? Or that they won’t’?"
Haunting. Lovely work. I like that the title is in this bit.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kate. Cool that you picked that out :-)
ReplyDeleteStunning, the way you capture the oppressiveness of her inner conflict and yet make it sound almost.. romantic. I can't think of a better word. :) I really love the whole concept!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dana. Oh, she's confused, for sure, and quite complex. Thanks for visiting! You had a wonderful six this week. :-)
DeleteWonderfully intriguing! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jessica! And congrats again on your one year anniversary. :-)
DeleteVery haunting section, penned in a nice clear voice. I'm particularly fond of your opening sentence. Nice job, and try to stay cool.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jess!
DeleteLucky you--two new babies on the farm!
Thanks for visiting. :-)
Great job, Teresa. It really feels like you've gone deeply into the character because her thoughts flow together so well. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Marcia. Those are great words to read. It affirms to me that I'm inside Marissa's head--and it is coming across to the reader :-) !
DeleteYou craft a character so vividly that I can fully relate to her and her dilemma, and I agree with Dana, you make her misery seem romantic somehow.
ReplyDeleteGreat Six!
Cool! Thanks, M.L. :-)
DeleteI loved this Teresa! It was forlorn, but beautiful at the same time. Great six!
ReplyDelete:-) <------ Big smile! Thanks, L.J. :-)
DeleteThat's some terrific character voice -- dissonant and poetic, sad and just disjointed enough that it feels real. I love it!
ReplyDeleteOh my, glad that is feel s real :-) ! Thanks, Steven :-)
DeleteYes, agreed with everyone else. It has a sad, haunted quality to the journal entry. Something that if you found in a box of a dusty corner of your grandma's attic you wouldn't move until you read through the entire journal.
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful!
"Something that if you found in a box of a dusty corner of your grandma's attic you wouldn't move until you read through the entire journal. " Wow... thank you, Marie! :-)
DeleteVery intriguing!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jamie :-) !
DeleteCompletely haunting :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Maryellen :-)
DeleteThere's a lot of pain and suppressed panic in that journal entry. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elin. I'm so glad that came through the words :-)
DeleteOh! What a great (and sad) insight into the character! Love how deep in her POV we are! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lorraine! :-)
ReplyDeleteSounds very interesting.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Samantha :-)
DeleteVery intriguing and ... lonely. Great six!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ann. Yep, ultimately, this struggle is her own, and she has to do it, alone. :-) Thanks for visiting.
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